I'm BAME and my mental health is going to pot

[asmallplace]

I cry myself to sleep at night. I can't stop thinking about my black family in America who I worry about. I feel torn re my feelings about the protests. I can't handle the sheer number of comments using whataboutery and 'all lives matter' our 'well if black peoples just complied with the police'. I feel unwell. I can't listen to the news. I have to listen to my all white colleagues give their verging on racist opinions every day but feel powerless to say anything. I just feel ill. I feel overwhelmed. I'm so tired. Are there any other BAME people on here who feel the same? How are you coping?

I had to switch off all social media. I've tentatively come back on and block anyone one fucking me off. It felt very good.

@saveeno

BAME stands for Black Asian and Minority Ethnic. There is no medical reason for the acronym. We have been BME, ethnic minorities (and many others). I agree with you. I am black. A black woman. White people are always called white, but we need to be an acronym.

@saveeno

Sorry. I am not explaining what BAME means to you. Just wanted to state my dislike of the term.

@saveeno this post isn't about that. I am black. My ethnicity is a minority within the UK. That = BAME. We need help. Black people are being killed in the states for simply being black. Racism is rife in schools, workplaces, on the streets, on the internet. It is draining. It's devastating. I am BAME. I'm so proud to say that.

No need to gang up on me. All I said was that the word BAME did not sit right with me and it is used to segregate. And I know what it means, it is just segregating people again isn't it?

Horrible Acronym IMV.

There is nothing similar for White people is there?

Schooling is doubly important, assuming maybe we can’t rely on all parents to get this info into kids

Yes, but also not. I think you can teach history right, try to decolonise various subjects and teach critical thinking. But there is so much growing and learning after that and I know of several children who were on a very bad path and changed in their 20s. I think we need to look at after school as much as during school. I still think about the anti-racism training I took maybe 15 years ago at work. And another about Indigenous people 10 years ago. Learning is lifelong, and complex.

I'm white, I can't understand being on the receiving end of this. But during #MeToo, I had to take a few breaks. The constant misogyny was draining. And that's without the current health crisis affecting BAME people more.

No because white is normative.

I'm sorry OP. Switch off if it helps you. Talk to loved ones. Getting through this crisis as a black woman is enough. Taking care of yourself and your loved ones is a radical act.

I’m white and I’m sorry you’re feeling like this. Anyone spouting ‘ All lives Matter ‘ doesn’t really get it .
It’s times like this that people show their true colours and makes it easier to spot all the dicks .

I’m white and so sorry you have to go through dealing with shit here and worrying about family in the US. Whatever you do, don’t feel guilty for needing to switch off. Look after yourself. The world is not your responsibility to fix.

@saveeno I didn't gang up on you. I just gave you my opinion. One person can't gang up on another person. I appreciate people may have a different opinion to me. Another poster agrees with you and I respect their opinion. I just don't agree with it. It's bizarre in my opinion to compare white to BAME. Why would white people within the UK need an acronym?

Anyway. I think I'm signing off for tonight. This thread has been helpful

Thanks for raising the emotional stress impact. Which is nothing in the scheme of things, but we feel the on - going frustration & painful emotions that the continued unfairness & inequalities that do exist overtly & covertly all over the world

Third try to post.
Stay well & pace yourself.

I am Black too and feel exactly the same OP.

You are not alone

And now I believe I have somehow channelled the stress and anxiety, upset and anger over this into a physical health problem- I keep throwing up from anxiety.

I feel guilty for wanting to switch off too, but I know I should have no guilt and neither should you. I have deactivated my social media as I was obsessively checking and researching every murder, every act of brutality, every bullying video of the cops against protestors. But there are plenty of people who can keep the ball rolling for us in our absence. Take as long as you need, like I am.

A fellow Black friend told me that it feels like a second pandemic for Black people, and I couldn't agree more m

I’m so sorry. 2020 is an exhausting year. Self care and self compassion are essential. I hope this is a turning point in the world. There are millions of good people out there, stay away from those who drain our mental health.

Maybe reach out to Black minds matter they have raised a phenomenal amount in the last few days and are offering free counselling

uk.gofundme.com/f/black-minds-matter-uk/donations

OP I'm mixed race and am right now feeling very low myself, for the past week I have been non stop pulling people up on what they're posting on social media and have had so many ignorant messages with definite racial undertones, that I've decided to take a break for my own sanity

It got ap much that I wasn't even going to write this comment, but please if you're feeling that down remove yourself and try as hard as you can not to watch TV as I believe it is showing black people in a bad light.
Stay close to your family and stay safe.

@NoSexPleaseWeAreInAPandemic

A second pandemic for black people is a really good way to put it. I am stressed, angry and upset beyond belief. I have promised myself that tomorrow will be a day off my phone and I’m laid here at 2.30 am still awake thinking about things like I have for the past week. The injustice that I feel. I’m so upset with myself I haven’t called things out sooner. Onwards and upwards. We will get through this.

@asmallplace

I cry myself to sleep at night. I can't stop thinking about my black family in America who I worry about. I feel torn re my feelings about the protests. I can't handle the sheer number of comments using whataboutery and 'all lives matter' our 'well if black peoples just complied with the police'. I feel unwell. I can't listen to the news. I have to listen to my all white colleagues give their verging on racist opinions every day but feel powerless to say anything. I just feel ill. I feel overwhelmed. I'm so tired. Are there any other BAME people on here who feel the same? How are you coping?

Ive not read the thread but just wanted to respond to your intial post. I feel for you.My heart breaks for you. I am struggling too. Im not black but of an ethhnic minority. During the pandemic I have had to go to work . I am not a key worker but my employers have made us but we are socially distancing. Covid has brought its own assault on everyones mental health. Stick into the mix having to deal in my case with a boss walking around shouting "All lives matter.!!" When you are the one of the only BAME employees there. That "people wouldnt be stopped by police if they were'nt doing anything.wrong" "i want to see the stats"." it must be so difficult for the police in America " " Those US communities where the police have to go with guns are high crime areas " I responded a few times. I'm the one who comes home angry. No-one else not my boss, not my collegues. Im the one who is angry and has to go the toilet to calm down. My mental health is not good. Overwhelmed and exahusted too. Hugs to you asmallplace x x

I have been genuinely shocked and appalled by the racism on here over the last few days.

I've been on MN, under different profiles, since 2010. There has always been a racist contingent - I remember one poster (whose name escapes me now) who was an overt BNP supporter. She was not allowed to namechange and MNHQ kept a close eye on the content of her posts.

But the recent thread on racism and white involvement was horrendous. I was completely floored by posters insisting that they weren't racist despite using racist tropes and stereotypes. Or claiming that they knew what it was like because they'd once been in a white minority where discrimination had occurred, and that this was on a par with black experiences. Racists dog-whistles like 'all lives matter' etc.

It was a real shock. And once you've seen it - it's everywhere. Even in one of the protests yesterday.

A white protester holding up a placard saying 'BLM, queer lives matter, trans lives matter'. Missing the point completely - why does black lives as a cause not deserve to stand on its own, even at a BLM fucking protest? This is not a pro/anti-trans point BTW, but bloody hell if you can't even centre black experience at a black protest its no wonder black people are fed up and exhausted.

I wish I could do more. I'm white and I'm doing my best to make myself more aware of what BAME people face. I am absolutely appalled at the attitudes I have seen on social media of late. I cannot think of a single thing I can say that would make any difference to what you are going through, but hugs. And as with all battles, you do not have to personally be at the front line of every single one if it costs you your mental health.

OP, I feel EXACTLY the same! I've switched off from the world; social media, especially.

I don't watch the news anymore, and I surround myself by those who love me (albeit by telephone).

I, too, have family in America. I pray for them each night. Matter if fact, I pray for the WORLD each night. You are not alone x

of*

Solidarity OP

Thinking of you all xx

I feel exactly the same as OP and many others on this thread.
Thank you for starting this thread.

I use to enjoying MN but the last few weeks have been shocking and I haven't felt welcome at all.

I rarely post and joined in 2011 (changed username a few times)