I'm BAME and my mental health is going to pot

[asmallplace]

I cry myself to sleep at night. I can't stop thinking about my black family in America who I worry about. I feel torn re my feelings about the protests. I can't handle the sheer number of comments using whataboutery and 'all lives matter' our 'well if black peoples just complied with the police'. I feel unwell. I can't listen to the news. I have to listen to my all white colleagues give their verging on racist opinions every day but feel powerless to say anything. I just feel ill. I feel overwhelmed. I'm so tired. Are there any other BAME people on here who feel the same? How are you coping?

I am so sorry OP. As others have said, do what you need to do in order to stay sane. Put on your own oxygen mask first.

Here's an anthology of pieces written about mental health by BAME authors, if you want to feel less alone (sorry for the Amazon link, I'm on my phone): www.amazon.co.uk/Colour-Madness-Exploring-mental-health/dp/099265145X/ref=nodl_.

Ignore the all lives matter crap - focus on the positives. Look at the rallies being held all over the world protesting, rallies made up of white people as well as POC. There are lots of white people who get it and want to be allies.
I limit my news intake now too, that helps.

I'm so sorry OP.

I'm white, so I won't ever know what it's like. But you have my support. Please look after yourself

I'm white. I'm so sorry about everything that is happening. Black lives matter. Take care of yourself.

You should not feel bad for switching off--although I also do. There is so much shit to deal with right now. Look after yourself.

Do whatever you need to do to protect your mental health. Surround yourself with only positive people, keep your circle tight. Turn off the news and social media

I'm white but I want you to know I stand with you and all people of colour, I will hold their hands and fight side by side for justice and equality

There is no room for racism

Preach - this has been a draining week and of course your mental health has taken a knock.

Nailed It is excellent escapism if you’re looking for something to decompress with.

The issues will still be there tomorrow, and it’s ok to be exhausted. I know I am. I keep reminding myself that at least this can’t be ignored anymore - the 4th wall has come down.

OP, it sounds like you need a 'detox'. I hope you have friends and relatives you can confide in who can uplift you through their conversation. I find it helpful to tell myself that there are plenty of good people here on MN and around me, it's just that the nasty racist ones stand out by their sheer nastiness. I try to focus my thoughts on the good people and try to feel thankful that I am relatively safe, while at the same time reaching out to relatives in the USA.

It's awful when you are stuck at work surrounded by people who don't understand. I don't have a strategy for coping with that, as I never managed it myself. Can you ask colleagues to just not talk about it as it is very distressing?

Hi Op.

I am black and understand how you are feeling. I have other black friends who I talk to and we are all saying that we are tired. Tired of all the 'all ives matter" tired of all the 'it's not as bad in the Uk', tired of 'it happened in the US why are we protesting here'. We are limiting what we watch and what we send to one another.

The most shocking thing I have seen (and I have received abuse and racism a lot in my lifetime) is the racism on Mumsnet. I used to look forward to coming on here, but the amount of racism I have viewed on here is shocking. There is a thread on here now about the protests and it is an utter disgrace. Looks like Mumsnet condone racism.

There are white people out there who want to be educated, but I am fed up being the educator. I've had enough.

I'm so sorry op 💐

Black lives matter ❤️

It's been a traumatic week. The organisation I work for tweeted an 'all lives matter' type tweet and when I objected I was told I was being hysterical! Racism is less overt here in the UK, so too many people try to gaslight us into believing it doesn't exist. I'm grateful for the allies and ignoring the wilfully ignorant! To any white people that see this post; if you see racism, please call it out. Sometimes we don't feel we can, out of fear of being labelled 'aggressive' - it's such a welcome relief to get back up from colleagues and friends!

I don't blame you. I'm white and some of the comments on here are enough to make anyone sick. I'm so sorry.

Hi lovely, Me too. I have been crying most of the week, message me if you need to talk. X

I hope you can find some peace and rest. I am so sorry that you and your family are having to go through this. I really hope that real and meaningful change will come. Please be kind to yourself. Sending support.

Hi to all the posters here. I can’t imagine how awful this must be. One aspect... are employers considering BAME mental health? I know it’s a small aspect but day to day must be so hard

take care of yourself xxx

Not BAME but OP, this is a loooong marathon, not a sprint. Take a break and care for yourself. You can always jump in later when you feel you have the energy and will to do so. The world won't be changed in a day (unfortunately on this matter).

Hi @Notmyrealname855.

Thank you for your kind thoughts. I find my employer and those of my friends are quite ignorant to the toll this is taking on BAME employees. I find solace in talking to my friends, but we all feel the same and feel under attack. I know racism and have been on the receiving end of the police, but am shocked at the amount of people who once you try and talk about it feel the need to attack attack attack.

I'm very sorry you're feeling this way and won't pretend to understand but one thing I will say that could be seen as a positive is that I have learnt things myself (which as an anti-racist person I didn't actually realise I needed to know) and it has made me determined that I need to teach my children more than just "be kind" and actually educate them better. I won't be the only person either so like a pp said, this is a marathon, not a sprint but changes are happening. This is not for you to take it all on your own shoulders.

It's been absolutely draining, I agree. I'm so outraged by everything, but also gobsmacked by people claiming they had no idea it was going on - how is that possible?

I've also learnt so much about myself and the people around me this week, and that in itself is tiring. I've been creating a mental list of all the times my white friends have stood by and stayed silent when I've faced overt racism, or tried to gaslight me. And seeing people completely miss the point and make it all about them.

I've just done a complete cull of my social media and that feels like an act of self-care, creating a version of the world that I belong in.

Sadly ignorance turning into prejudice, we aren’t even taught most of this at school. That must change! And BAME MH support at work. If it helps any, we’re in a very rural community and have sprayed BLM on our big hay bales by the road (same as our neighbours). Wish I could be on a march, we’ll be there ASAP (tractors and all!)

Schooling is doubly important, assuming maybe we can’t rely on all parents to get this info into kids

@Notmyrealname855
That image made me smile

and a hug for everyone here. Gah, I'm getting tearful. Time for some TV drama. Good night xx

BAME is another way to corral and segregate people. Some have no idea what the acronym means. There may be a medical reason for it, I dunno.

BAME..... I don't like that nomenclature but whatever, who will listen to me.