to hate what my name has become

[tohatemyname]

I have a name which is ridiculed a lot in society and is frequently used as an insult. I already have low self esteem after years of abuse and depression and anxiety as a result. MN and other social media was my respite from all the emotional fallout of the abuse.
On MN now my name is used as an insult and thrown around casually like it doesn't matter.
It fucking does matter. My one safe place to escape my feelings has been pulled from under my feet.

I am a Karen. I quite like my name. All my life I've been mocked for something - my hair, my glasses, not having the right hobbies, my weight, etc. It's true that many other names have been used as stereotypes, but none have been so viciously meant as this is. Is it as a result of how unpleasant the world has become since the referendum and the Trump presidency? It certainly seems to me to be very misogynistic.

Perhaps we can all try to be a bit kinder. I'd hate to see another post with 'fuck off Karen' in it.

To the OP, I'm sorry you've been left feeling this way. It will pass, we just have to be patient. Perhaps our own behaviour will continue to make a mockery of the meme!

@DeliaOwens

As PP says, this too shall pass. Tom, Dick, Harry, Sharon, Tracey and even Mandy all had a turn. Just imagine being called Donald right now....

And Nigel, Darren, Jemima, Tarquin, Kevin, Gordon... never mind the numerous threads about -mae, -Rose that succeeded ones about Chelseas, Shannons, Charmaines, plus all the ones about Connors and Keirans and so on. And the neverending variations upon 'why the fuck would you ever want to call your boys Ronnie and Reggie, for fuck's sake?'.

It's shit that it's used in the way that it is but YABU to take it so personally and be so dramatic about it.

I agree op. It is your identity and it is horrible that people do this to bully and put down others. Tbh, anyone who uses it as an insult single themselves as the stupid who walk amongst us. At least it's easy to see them and avoid.

Hooray Henry
Jack the lad, Jack of all trades, jacking off
Willy/ Dick
Fanny
Paddy
Jock
A proper Charlie/ Charlie =cocaine
a John = a prostitute use
etc etc

Just off the top of my head OP, these names have all been used in steretyped or derogatory ways but it's amazing how even so we're able to separate people we know called these names from any negative connotations.

Don't worry. Your name stereotypes will be a short-lived meme and people wont think of you even if the say it.

It's a real MN thing. In real life nobody knows what ' Karen' means. Or Wendy come to that.

The Karen-meme says '"Shut the fuck up 'middle aged women', no one wants to hear you".

Right, but the instances I’ve seen it used in is Karen calling the cops because a black guy looked at her, or she’s being asked to follow the same rules as everyone else but won’t. Those do need to shut the fuck up. I’ve seen a whole load more examples where the question being asked is “what’s the male equivalent” with guys doing these things.

Right, but the instances I’ve seen it used in is Karen calling the cops because a black guy looked at her, or she’s being asked to follow the same rules as everyone else but won’t.

Can't you see that by bringing in the term 'Karen' you are suggesting all women of a certain demographic would behave in the same unacceptable way - which is offensive to women in that demographic who would never dream of doing those things.

MintyMabel but those instances sound distinctly American, 'cops' is American. The whole point is that Karen does not have those connotations in the UK.

I think it's a bit disingenuous to suggest that there isn't a particular type of dim witted, strident, opinionated, racist middle-aged woman.

I see plenty on our local community Facebook page - usually complaining about some minor point of school policy that they've obviously misunderstood, sharing posts about BLM whilst simultaneously complaining about immigrants, grumbling about shoddy service somewhere and seeking compensation with very little justification.

Your name might be Karen op, but you're not 'a Karen', and the meme ridicules the latter not the former.

It's not about silencing women, it's about silencing a particular type of woman that we'd all be happier hearing less from.

Plenty of similar men of course. The term around here seems to be that he's 'a gammon'.

I think that you should only fight battles if you have tiny chance to win. This is not one of them, you can either accept your name and the fact that people who know you do NOT. Use your name as an insult, or find yourself a nice nickname. There is no way you can convince the world not to use the name as an insult, you just need to hold tight until this ridiculous trend fades out.

Can't you see that by bringing in the term 'Karen' you are suggesting all women of a certain demographic would behave in the same unacceptable way - which is offensive to women in that demographic who would never dream of doing those things.

Sounds a bit NAMALT though doesn’t it?

Titty was changed to Tatty according to this

www.theguardian.com/film/2016/may/24/swallows-and-amazons-titty-renamed-tatty-in-bbc-film

My dm is called Karen and I can safely say she's never given a shiny shit about what her name apparently now means in society. She thinks it's funny!

Change it by deed poll if you like? It's pretty simple and not too expensive.

It's sexist because people aren't busy dissecting the behaviour of white men who call the manager etc.

The idea that it's some big racial justice thing, to call women you disagree with, Karen, is nonsense anywhere. The meme came from a MRA on Reddit.

People need to stop arguing for why they should have special terms of abuse for women they don't have for men.

dim witted, strident, opinionated, racist middle-aged woman.

Dim-witted - so women should be dismissed if they don't meet a certain intelligence threshold
Strident - so women must speak in hushed, placatory tones
Opinionated - so women mustn't have opinions
Middle-aged - how dare we become old so men no longer want to fuck us?

Racist - clearly unacceptable. It's wrong to be racist but there is nothing wrong with being strident, opinionated, unintelligent or middle-aged - so why not just refer to a 'racist' woman?

It's a real MN thing. In real life nobody knows what ' Karen' means

Not true. My teen asked me about it the other day. All her peers are using it. In real life. Thanks to tiktok spilling into the real world.

"It's sexist because people aren't busy dissecting the behaviour of white men who call the manager etc."

Plenty of offensive terms for men though.

Dickhead, wanker.

A gammon.

Mid Life Crisis Man.

White Van Man.

Somehow I doubt many of them give a shit.

OP - some really nasty posts on here.

There was a thread by another Karen recently where people were very clear that in their minds they didn't connect the person called Kern with the stupid 'Karen' insult.

I hate all shorthand insults.

Karen is misogynist and ageist
Gammon was classist

People need to stop it and learn to debate and disagree without insults.

"Dim-witted - so women should be dismissed if they don't meet a certain intelligence threshold
Strident - so women must speak in hushed, placatory tones
Opinionated - so women mustn't have opinions
Middle-aged - how dare we become old so men no longer want to fuck us?"

Don't be daft. That's not what I meant and I think you know it.

The woman loudly complaining about NHS employees getting priority in the supermarket this morning, then saying covid was a made-up conspiracy, then saying it was down to 5G, then demanding to see a manager because her human rights was being impinged - that's the sort of opinionated, dim witted, strident middle-aged woman I was referring to.

It's sexist because people aren't busy dissecting the behaviour of white men who call the manager etc

Exactly and why is that? Oh yes that’s right, because no one bats an eyelid when a white middle aged man wants to speak to the manager do they? That’s apparently “normal” and he’s probably rightfully complaining about poor service.

Also last time I checked dick head and wanker and white van man aren’t actually legit kids names so not really comparable at all.

@rawlikesushi

"It's sexist because people aren't busy dissecting the behaviour of white men who call the manager etc."

Plenty of offensive terms for men though.

Dickhead, wanker.

A gammon.

Mid Life Crisis Man.

White Van Man.

Somehow I doubt many of them give a shit.

None of which are first names.

There are plenty of women that are dim witted, that complain or are crass and obnoxious across the generations!

"It's sexist because people aren't busy dissecting the behaviour of white men who call the manager etc"

Nobody would object to a white woman calling the manager, either.

It's the baseless calling of the manager, from either sex, that marks one as a dick.

That's not what I meant and I think you know it.

It may not be what you meant to say, but it's what you've said.

that's the sort of opinionated, dim witted, strident middle-aged woman I was referring to.

No - that's a specific, individual woman you're referring to, not a 'sort of woman'.

What does the fact she's middle-aged have to do with it? Are you saying those behaviours would be OK if she was young? If not, why mention that she is middle-aged?