to hate what my name has become

[tohatemyname]

I have a name which is ridiculed a lot in society and is frequently used as an insult. I already have low self esteem after years of abuse and depression and anxiety as a result. MN and other social media was my respite from all the emotional fallout of the abuse.
On MN now my name is used as an insult and thrown around casually like it doesn't matter.
It fucking does matter. My one safe place to escape my feelings has been pulled from under my feet.

What a surprise that the one term targeting racism by white MC women gets outrage on MN

Maybe because it doesn’t translate well in the U.K. No one gets it when Karen is as likely to be serving behind the counter in a bank or shop and the people she supposed to complain about.
I’d be interested in how British black woman felt white women here behaved towards them rather than those from a different country.

I think this is the problem with the Americanisation of our culture. People on MN often say it doesn't matter but it does as it leads to misunderstandings like this. A Karen in the UK does not conjure up the idea of privilege that it clearly does in the USA. The UK is a constitutional monarchy, that perpetuates the idea of class that the US doesn't seemingly have. It's not the same politics and Karen is certainly not someone who represents privilege.

I was born in Essex many decades ago, never lived there, you can imagine the jokes that have ensued. I just smile and say yes I have heard that joke.

@MintyMabel

Yet other people who find a word offensive are entitled to feel that way, and demand that the word is no longer used?

No, they are in exactly the same position as the OP, they can try to change the world (impossible) or try to change their response to it. Luckily the OP could have a solution in changing it or she needs to change her mindset. Those of us who face those other words regularly only have the choice of changing our mindset.

Er, no.

There are a lot of words which are deely offensive to the disabled, the LGBTQ community, those of a different cultural background and others. When we have it explained to us why they find the word offensive, we stop using it.

We don't tell them they need to change their mindset.

YANBU. It's my name too and it pisses me right off!

I've literally just removed someone from my facebook because of this she shared a black lives matters post about putting the house on fire out first? It was off here the other day I shared it myself she put it up, to shut up all the karens out there.....my fucking name is Karen and she shared it off my page.....I just didn't want to engage with this bullshit anymore

Well, this is all enlightening. I had vaguely heard of Karen used as a shorthand for something, but had no idea about a ‘privilege’ angle, since Karen is not a particularly privileged name to me.

Sorry OP, it must be really annoying.

I should add, that this is what I explain to my young teenage son when he flippantly used the term as the references don't work in the context he operates in and cultural heritage that he has.

Karen has developed a different meaning in the U.K. As pp have said, it’s a name used to define a generation of middle-aged “provincial” women. It’s more lower-middle class. Perhaps a bit boring and staid, a jobsworth. Definitely not upper or privileged, and without racist overtones. Karen is a lovely name to me.

I’ve seen that meme that gets shared round with pictures of ‘leading experts‘- it’s something like ‘doctor’, ‘scientist’, ‘PHD student’ and ‘Karen on Facebook’, Karen is only one who is female in the cartoon picture 🙄

It’s so nasty. What’s wrong with saying “a privileged ignorant person“ if that’s what you mean

Horrible for you OP. Deeply misogynistic too IMO.

Karen, Simple Simon, Tim-nice-but-dim, Wendy, etc.

But Karen is used on its own to denigrate. Others like Tim nice but dim, David Brent, Victor Meldrew refer to specific character types and do not insult every Tim, David or Victor.

Not sure about Wendy as, ‘I’ve been Wendied has a specific meaning, though I’ve no idea where it came from or why the name Wendy was chosen.

Maybe because it doesn’t translate well in the U.K. No one gets it when Karen is as likely to be serving behind the counter in a bank or shop and the people she supposed to complain about.
I’d be interested in how British black woman felt white women here behaved towards them rather than those from a different country

Agree. You can not compare usage between UK and USA. Karen is not a name of privilege here. In fact I would say it’s a working class name. I have never heard the name used in uk as a response to racism in any context. I only ever see it in the context of that “can I speak to the manager” haircut and as a way to cut down and silence assertive women who are middle aged.

I will also call out any ethnic names I see that are used as racist insults. But that doesn’t mean Karen as an insult is acceptable. It’s not. None of them are acceptable.

I agree with the above and these characters all have redeeming features. I think you are supposed to feel slightly sorry for David Brent near the end of the series.

I say this kindly , if you suffer from depression and low self esteem you are going to be hurt by this, my mate karen laughs her arse off and sends her own memes out as she finds them funny, yes it is sexist and I won't participate in it.
The issue is your mental health should not hang in a social media trend

I don't know why a name is suddenly picked on and it's horrible. It used to be Tracey and I have a lovely friend of that name. People say it's only a joke but I know I would hate it if my name was constantly picked on

@CecilyP

^Titty was never a name

Arthur Ransome would beg to differ.^

Lol, OP. She was a fictional character, so I’m assuming a nickname. Can’t say I’ve ever heard of a Titty in real life!

Titty was a real person, she changed her name from whatever she was born as. Her family were unhappy that the BBC changed her name from Titty to something else in the tv adaptation.

Totally with you on this op.

I saw a “Karen must be killed” tweet retweeted into my timeline when I was feeling suicidal. It didn’t help. People on mumsnet think that’s totally fine though because the Karen memes are “funny”

It’s all very well saying names like “hooray henry” exist, but do you honestly think Henry constantly gets sent internet memes to him saying “fuck off Henry” “no one gives a shit what you think, Henry” “no one wants to listen to you, Henry” on a daily basis? Because I see these with my name every day - often on mumsnet. When are @mnhq going to do something about this? The other day I was a sent a “10 reasons why Karen is the worst” article.

I had 2 work colleagues send me “Hide your snacks Karen, you fat slag” memes. I’m recovering from an eating disorder.

I’ll probably get called a Karen for this and some of you will laugh at me. It’s bullying, and for some reason people think that is ok.

@bee222
I agree. It’s fcking cruel.

I would also bet that right before posting that Karen meme half those people jumped on the “be kind” bandwagon and were paying BE KIND messages. Such hypocrites.

Titty was a real person, she changed her name from whatever she was born as. Her family were unhappy that the BBC changed her name from Titty to something else in the tv adaptation.

I saw the series in the 1980s and the name was changed to Kitty. I had a feeling the was based on children Ransome knew but didn’t know he used their real names and that her name was actually Titty!

I'm one of those people who thinks its sexist And racist to use that term . We are with you, if thats any consolation

I used to work with Nigel years ago and he had the same problem but that phase has died down now.

I think this sort of thing ebbs and flows throughout the years, it's not right but hopefully this one will phase out soon. But I'd imagine it will be replaced by new one unfortunately.

Hooray Henrys don't exist in the US and even if you were labelled one - I doubt by their very nature their self esteem would be shattered- it's not even that offensive- oh you are rich, went to boarding school, have a massive house or three, can live off investment portfolios, wear sailing clothes. Even if the implication is he's a bit of a twit, does he care from his lofty heights of privilege!

I've no idea what the Karen thing is about OP and I can't be remotely arsed to find out. It's a lovely name and I know lots of Karens and they are wonderful people. Don't waste a second more worrying about this nonsense. Own your beautiful name and be proud!