to hate what my name has become

[tohatemyname]

I have a name which is ridiculed a lot in society and is frequently used as an insult. I already have low self esteem after years of abuse and depression and anxiety as a result. MN and other social media was my respite from all the emotional fallout of the abuse.
On MN now my name is used as an insult and thrown around casually like it doesn't matter.
It fucking does matter. My one safe place to escape my feelings has been pulled from under my feet.

Karen is a beautiful name! I have heard of Wendy and Suzan too! Not nice but sadly things like this can happen.

@rawlikesushi

"If offensive traits make somebody a Karen then do tell me what offensive traits I have?"

None. Being given the name Karen at birth does not make you 'a Karen.'

Being called Tim doesn't make you dim.

Being called Colin doesn't make you boring.

Being called Karen doesn't make you force your racist, self-serving opinions on other people.

Don't you see what is wrong here? You are stating that I have racist, self serving opinions but stating that being Tim/Colin aren't dim or boring but assume that somebody called Karen has those racist self serving views.

That, in a nutshell is the problem. You (and others) make assumptions about people called Karen because of the name.

Can you console yourself that about 80% of the population won't know what a 'Karen' is? It must be hurtful but I'm sure it's just a flash in the pan, and no-one will care soon.

I’m sorry you’ve been made to feel this way. You have a lovely name. If it’s any consolation, my standard response to anyone dim enough to use this insult is “Alright shit for brains” because that is a true description of them. Very much applies to anyone making excuses for this lame insult on this thread.

If women calling for the manager is such a terrible problem

And this, I think, points to the underlying issue. People do see it as a terrible problem that a woman might dare to complain about something - especially if she's not a young, attractive woman.

A middle aged woman's role is to be self-effacing and make the lives of others easy - to wait on her husband and children, if she has them - a middle-aged woman must put up with what she's given and leave complaining to the men - or to those women who are young and sexy enough to be indulged.

And this, I think, points to the underlying issue. People do see it as a terrible problem that a woman might dare to complain about something - especially if she's not a young, attractive woman

Exactly- I dont get this at all. Why is ok for a man to speak with the manager and not a woman? of course- because women are socialised to be nice and never offend or upset anyone and not stand up for their rights. Men on the other hand, are praised for it. Such a vile mysogynistic double standard

I'm not called Karen however when I was a little girl I insisted for around a year that everyone called me Karen. Not everyone hates it

MintyMabel but those instances sound distinctly American, 'cops' is American. The whole point is that Karen does not have those connotations in the UK.

The whole thing has US origins. Karen isn’t a “middle class” name here. It’s pretty universal.

Exactly and why is that? Oh yes that’s right, because no one bats an eyelid when a white middle aged man wants to speak to the manager do they?

Have you been on twitter lately? Plenty of it going on with white men too.

Can't you see that by bringing in the term 'Karen' you are suggesting all women of a certain demographic would behave in the same unacceptable way

I never said it wasn’t problematic. Just that it’s not necessarily a “shut the fuck up woman” thing.

It’s a real MN thing. In real life nobody knows what ' Karen' means

It was on twitter way before MN picked up on it.

Work on your self esteem issues and anxiety before you consider changing your name.

"Don't you see what is wrong here? You are stating that I have racist, self serving opinions."

I'm not. Not at all. I'm saying the opposite of that.

Your name does not give you those personality traits.

Just like having the name Tim, Colin, Wendy, Brad, Jeff, Susan, Sharon or Tracey do not imbue you with certain personality traits either.

I am sorry that this is affecting you so much. I would like to say that I know three Karen's who are all incredible women. They laugh at this stuff because they know it's nonsense.

If this thread has shown you anything it is that a big % of people have never heard of it and a big % of people think it's awful. I think you will have no choice but to ride it out unfortunately but nobody, nobody thinks you are a certain type of person just because of your name.

In America ‘Chad’ is referenced as a sort of idiotic drunken college / sports boy. There are male stereotypes.

"Exactly- I dont get this at all. Why is ok for a man to speak with the manager and not a woman?"

There's nothing wrong with complaining to the manager. It's the baseless complaining and attempt to garner privilege for oneself that is the issue, regardless of gender.

But a man would just be called a dickhead or a wanker instead of a name I guess.

There have been Sharons and Tracys as atereotypes, as well as the male equivalents - Wally, Herbert, Colin - for years. They will always exist and will always pass and something new come into use.

@telemache

Hey there shit for brains

I think Karen is a beautiful name. Spend less time on social media and more time appreciating yourself.

It could be worse

There's nothing wrong with complaining to the manager. It's the baseless complaining and attempt to garner privilege for oneself that is the issue, regardless of gender.

I agree with this, but in my experience of customer services, middle-aged women are quite low down on the list of people who are likely to do this. Professional and retired professional men are the worst offenders.

Does saying that make you feel good about yourself @telemache? Revealing yourself as someone who is incapable of discussion and debate? Or as someone pointed out, one of the dimwitted? Is that how you like to be seen?

Exactly, it is American so what relevance does it have?

@telemache

Hey there shit for brains

I hate it when people use the term "blonde moment". I can't believe people still do in this day and age. But it is just annoying really, I wouldn't take it to heart

Professional and retired professional men are the worst

Yup which is why it makes zero sense to label that person Karen. White older men are the only demographic that I have ever seen making a privileged fuss and asking for the manager and I can say that is the experience of my friends too. Therefore it’s very obvious this is a mysogynistic stereotype that has less to do with a recognised cliche and more a way of keeping women “in their place”.

@telemache

Hey there shit for brains

😆

I'd never heard of this insult until I saw it on MN. Honestly OP it isn't all that well known . I'm sorry if you have heard it a lot . Hopefully it will pass and be replaced by something else .