to hate what my name has become

[tohatemyname]

I have a name which is ridiculed a lot in society and is frequently used as an insult. I already have low self esteem after years of abuse and depression and anxiety as a result. MN and other social media was my respite from all the emotional fallout of the abuse.
On MN now my name is used as an insult and thrown around casually like it doesn't matter.
It fucking does matter. My one safe place to escape my feelings has been pulled from under my feet.

@goldenbear

Exactly. I agree. It doesnt exactly make the user of such memes stand out as a great intellectual or quick wit either.

""It's always about the gaze," Brock explained. "And the desire to control what's in the gaze."
In other words? It's about a desire by some white women to exert control over black folks -- just as it was during slave times, just as it was in 1992 and just as it persists today, he said.
Names like Karen, or Becky? It's an act of resistance by Black folks, Brock said. It puts a name to the behavior and acts as a way to gain solidarity over an injustice, maybe laugh about it and go about your day....
Brock, though notably not named Karen, summed it up like this: "If you get offended by an archetype, that says more about your insecurities being a liberal ally, than it does about the people who use that word to describe an unjust situation."
In other words, you can be a Karen without being a "Karen."

@SquashedSpring

rawlikesushi

Why the need to use a woman's name to describe those behaviours?

Because it is intended to belittle women and put them in their 'rightful' place?

You are really working hard to defend someone who is rude, entitled and offensive. What would we call a rude, entitled, offensive man? Why is Karen any worse?

No, I am working hard to defend women who are middle aged and/or of low intelligence - because you keep sweeping them into your general description of a rude and entitled "type" of woman and seem unable to grasp that the characteristics are separate.

I'd call a rude, entitled, offensive man a 'rude, entitled offensive man'. I'd call a rude, entitled, offensive woman a 'rude entitled offensive woman'. Not a 'Karen'.

I've never heard or known of any Brads, again, it is an American name that doesn't carry any meaning here.

@DartmoorChef

Same as being called Wendy...

This!!

I'd call a rude, entitled, offensive man a 'rude, entitled offensive man'. I'd call a rude, entitled, offensive woman a 'rude entitled offensive woman'. Not a 'Karen'

Yes because that is what they are. The fact they are middle aged of have a low IQ is irrelevant. You are focussing on their actions and behaviour rather than judging them on their age or gender

"Tbh it sounds a bit 'dim-witted' and anti- intellectual to use an armoury of sound bite memes to deride individuals that have problematic personality traits and opinions, why not just formulate proper arguments to challenge their behaviour?"

Well yes, we could say that that woman has chosen to loudly state her opinion at me, despite the fact that I haven't asked for it and it is quite offensive, and she doesn't seem to have understood or researched her points fully, and it seems to be mostly with the intention of garnering some special treatment for herself or making sure that she doesn't have to do what everyone else is doing, that is really very problematic.

Or you could find a single word that allows you to précis all of that and still have everyone know exactly what you mean.

Just like saying that you met White Van Man on the M1 tells everyone that you were tailgated, cut up or received a rude gesture as he sped past. Not all people driving white vans do that, obviously, just as a disclaimer.

Again, white van man is NOT the same as using a first name that many people in the population actually have.

No one is called white van man though so it’s not comparable at all

"No, I am working hard to defend women who are middle aged and/or of low intelligence - because you keep sweeping them into your general description of a rude and entitled "type" of woman and seem unable to grasp that the characteristics are separate."

Well no one would call a middle-aged woman of low intelligence a Karen would they?

It's the whole package of offensive traits that makes one a Karen.

Or you could find a single word that allows you to précis all of that and still have everyone know exactly what you mean.

Yes. A single word. Not a name.

"Yes. A single word. Not a name."

Suggestions?

It's the whole package of offensive traits that makes one a Karen.

No. It's the whole package of offensive traits that makes one an offensive person.

If offensive traits make somebody a Karen then do tell me what offensive traits I have? The ones that some misguided people will assume that I (and other Karens) have simply because of our name. If you doubt that there are people out there who will do that then think again, society is full of judgemental people who lack the social skills to realise how unacceptable it is to judge people because of their names.

Well no one would call a middle-aged woman of low intelligence a Karen would they?

You are the one who included those traits in your 'Karen' definition on this thread.

Anyone who uses a karen meme is clearly incredibly lazy and mysogynistic. Its a sign of low intellect and a lack of ability to express yourself in an articulate and intelligent manner in my opinion.

I also cringe every time I see it.

Just like saying that you met White Van Man on the M1

Apart from the fact that no-one is called 'white van man'. Just like no one is called gammon. So not the same at all.

"You are the one who included those traits in your 'Karen' definition on this thread."

Yes, as part of a package of traits. In themselves, they do not earmark one as a Karen.

I found the post the other day about the name Karen insulting, especially as people were commenting that the name is "working class". I know a few Karen's and they are not all working class and so what if they are anyway!

I found the post the other day about the name Karen insulting, especially as people were commenting that the name is "working class". I know a few people called Karen and they are not all working class and so what if they are anyway?!

"If offensive traits make somebody a Karen then do tell me what offensive traits I have?"

None. Being given the name Karen at birth does not make you 'a Karen.'

Being called Tim doesn't make you dim.

Being called Colin doesn't make you boring.

Being called Karen doesn't make you force your racist, self-serving opinions on other people.

But White Van Man is not a name, the person inside the van may be named Bob, Sandy, Verity, Tom etc.

Do memes do that though or do they just allow for uncritical thinking and a deceiptful spread of lies on the internet?

So gross.

Just stop using it.

If women calling for the manager is such a terrible problem that you must call it out each and every time, just say 'woman who thinks she is entitled to call the manager'. If you want to call out a person who is behaving in a racist way, say 'person behaving in a racist way'.

Tbf I hear Wendy, Susan, Karen, Colin, Dave, Geoffrey. They just use normal everyday common names.
It’ll pass. Remember Kevin? If you didn’t like your name before, then I’d say think about changing it. If it’s purely because it’s thrown around in sarcastic, negative phrases then, no, don’t.

I'm a Karen Op.... I know it's hard but it's happened to Wendy's, Kevin etc
Dave is often used as a stupid kinda character.

I know I'm nothing like the Karen depicted
and I know it's easier said than done when something gets under your skin but it's going to be around for a bit so I'd try to let it go as others say it will pass but while it's here I'd just try to roll with it as you can't stop everyone using it.

Infact I think the more upset people get about it the more it encourages people to use it ya know, chin up