Admit it! Who 'makes an effort' for DH/DW/DP?

[MermaidApocalypse]

I go between 'maybe he should see me in make up sometimes' and 'fuck it, I've just done a ten hour shift and and I want to wear my Jurassic Park T-shirt and shorts.' A friend got divorced last year and he brought up that she dressed up for nights out with the girls but never for him. I mean, he's obviously a prick but does he have a point?
DP rarely makes an effort for me apart from sometimes changing his socks after walking four miles. I don't know if this is why I don't bother either.

I think we're both about as cas' as you can get.

We do like to get dressed up for a rare night out just us, or for a dirty weekend though.

I do in a way...but is it more for me? Yes.
I like to dress nicely keep my hair nails skin nice. I use alot of products I am quite high maintenance out of lockdown (ill be first at the door of the salons...)
I dont wear old tshirts as pyjamas I wear nice matching sets around the house

But the question is do i make this effort for dh...no... but does he like it.. yes...
I like to make an effort do my hair and make up and wear nice things because I want to.
I have been with DH for 12 years and 1 dc

No I don’t. Not if I’m just staying home and doing housework. I do wear make up and do my hair for work though so he sees that when I get home.

@PinkiOcelot yeah same, but he realises that's not for him it's for my female admin colleagues

@jetsetter87 what would he say if you decided you didn't want to bother anymore? Would he be upset?

Not in an appearance way no. There's way more to me than how I look and that is what my DH loves about me.

He loves me as I am.

@MermaidApocalypse no idea. Never asked him... and I wouldn't care what he thinks... because I do what I do for me. If he decides that he doesnt like it when I dont make that effort then hes a bit of a cunt and I probably wouldnt want to be with him. Surely he loves me for the loving kind wonderful wife and mother i am

Not if we're just at home, no. I'm far too lazy for that

But if we're out going out somewhere together, then yes, we both make an effort. I think it's important to make an effort for your partner at times.

Sometimes. If we're having a nice meal we'll both put in a bit of effort. For the occasional evening of fun too.

Ehhh he has a particular pair of pj shorts he enjoys that I wear for his benefit sometimes? But in terms of makeup/nails/dressing up, no, I don’t think he’d care really.

I try to make sure I don't smell bad, and have clean clothes on, most of the time at least. That is about it though really.

Yes I make an effort for date nights either in or out of the house. Not if we're just chilling though.

I make an effort but it's for me. It makes me feel more confident. I don't think my husband cares much either way.

I make an effort for me tbh! He likes me best with no makeup in one of his football shirts!

I always wear a clean pair of pyjamas for the working day from home. That counts surely, doesn't it?

I think my “making an effort” is still fairly low maintenance tbh - I think it took 30 minutes to get ready for my own wedding for instance.

I do my makeup almost every day but it takes 5 minutes if that.

Sometimes I put on a dress and heels for a 'date night' style dinner at home. It's a bit of fun though and of course looks aren't important to us & it's what's inside that counts.

I will when he does. (Not dies thanks Fat fingers)

Define “make an effort” though?

My idea of an effort would be not wearing jogging pants. Dh’s is wearing a shirt with his jeans.

Do you want your DH to “make an effort”?

Dh and I prefer comfort over style. He prefers women without make up, and thinks jeans and a t-shirt with a pair of vans is way sexier than full on dressing up.

I never wear make up, so it wouldn’t come under “making an effort” for me as I don’t think it improves my appearance.

Yes, DP and I both make the effort for each other and it's appreciated. He likes me in dresses, and I do have quite a few as I love them. He'll wear a shirt (casual but a change from a t shirt) for me as he knows I like him in a shirt.

Ex used to make very little effort in his clothes or anything else appearance wise and it was a huge bugbear of mine. I love making the effort because Iike the reaction I get and it shows you care.

Clean clothes and hygienic is the normal. Occasional bit of make-up but dependent on whether I feel like it or not.

DH is the same - clean clothes and hygienic, may style his hair and have a shave if he feels like it but usually doesn't bother.

We'll smarten up if we go for a meal or a special occasion.

But we have been together a long time and dressing up isn't a huge deal for us. The one thing we do though, is smell nice. I always wear perfume even if i'm in trackie bottoms, and DH will always wear aftershave or cologne.

Smelling nice is a thing for both of us as we know the other enjoys it. Personally cuddling DH and smelling his aftershave is really evocative and enough for a 0-60 on the 'jump my bones' scale than him wearing a smart shirt

We both make an effort if we go out for a date.

We're generally both very casual around the house. I do look after myself in a way that I like to, but we joke that me shaving my legs is making an effort as it happens so rarely

I don’t wear makeup unless I’m going out for a nice event (meal, party...) which will most often include DH. I don’t do much with my hair on a daily basis other than wash and blow dry. I get my nails done (pre-covid) but I don’t think he’d care if I didn’t.

If my DH cares about what I’m wearing, he has never once shown any sign of it. Equally, I love him for him and don’t care what he wears or whether he’s recently had a hair cut. The one thing I do ask is that he shaves his stubble when it starts to get long and scratchy as it hurts my face.

We both make an effort for dates.
I also actually put on some sexy underwear today that he bought me as a gift last year but I hadnt worn for him as I'd felt very self conscious from gaining a little chub lol.

He really liked that. And that definitely made me feel good about myself!

And it shows you care

It shows you care? Really? So I don’t care about Dh because I don’t wear make up or put on a dress for him?

Someone who wears make up cares more than someone who doesn’t?