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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I feel my husband is making us fools

280 replies

Wouldyoudoit2 · 05/06/2020 13:59

We engaged a company with good reviews to move our hot tub from one property to another. The distance is approx 100 miles.

We were quoted £600. Having had a hot tub moved in the past, this was the maximum I wanted to pay for this distance but asked if this was inclusive of VAT. We were told it was, all good.

The agreement was to meet (socially distanced) at one property at 9am for load and then the company had another job to do somewhere on the way, so the plan was to message or call and give a guide as to when they would be arriving at the other end and we would get there to ensure access is available for drop off.

My husband goes to the property as planned at 9am. The company did not arrive until nearer 10am.
I get a message from my husband to say it has been loaded on to the truck and that they will be taking it back to theirs (not sure if it’s a lock up or home) and bringing it to destination property on Monday.
They will wash it over the weekend and do the service on Monday at the house.

I’m fuming!
Here is my side: I feel that my husband has just allowed a company to drive away with our property and they could do anything over the weekend such as create jobs/repairs that they will come across when servicing it on Monday.
He has allowed this as the guy is running late (not my problem he has been more than one job for the day in the diary and arrived late) and it will make it easier on everyone.
The guy has offered no discount for moving the goal posts. I am quite happy to wash my own hot tub over the weekend and can accept he may run later but want my hot tub to be delivered on the same day as planned.
I then find out he is not charging VAT. I didn’t want a cash job, again this guy is manipulating the situation to suit his agenda at no cost to him.

This is just not what was agreed and I’m not happy.

My husband thinks I’m too cynical and need to trust people.
I think he is being foolish.
Who do you think is BU?
I’m also annoyed that he did not call to discuss whether I agreed with this change.

(The hot tub cost £15k when new. Please don’t take that wrong, it is just factual information as to what they have in their care over the weekend).

OP posts:

MacavityTheDentistsCat · 05/06/2020 14:59

Is it possible that the comment about 'not charging VAT' was actually intended by the tradesperson as a concession/discount for the inconvenience?

finished31 · 05/06/2020 15:00

Yanbu, why happens if it gets lost/damaged en-route? or you get a similar shitty one instead

It's not like it's a cheap one either.

DaveTheDesigner · 05/06/2020 15:00

Unless someone else was going to do it for £600 including VAT you're going to be paying an extra £120. However, you can hardly complain as they are being above board in charging the VAT and morally you (but also the contractor) were acting illegally in trying to avoid the VAT. Him adding the VAT is not to his advantage as such apart from not risking being had by the VAT inspector. On the other issues you might have a grievance but a discount is a bit daft unless you were planning a hot tub party on Monday. I assume one of you has these guys details? Just call them and tell them not to do any cleaning or any other work. Any damage won't be covered by your insurance but by theirs, assuming they have any. I think you're getting overly stressed over possible outcomes that may never happen.

AlwaysCheddar · 05/06/2020 15:01

Are they insured?

Savingshoes · 05/06/2020 15:02

Nope, I agree with you.
Strangers being paid to do a job and failing to do it.
Dh should stop moaning to you about how fuming he is and step up and say no.
Come Monday you could have "this is definitely your hot tub... it was only half the size you say it is" or "what do you mean it used to work before Monday? No, this was just a vintage garden feature"

emmathedilemma · 05/06/2020 15:03

Controlling?!? Have you never let him make a decision on his own before??
file under first world problems and move on!

Chilledoutmuma · 05/06/2020 15:06

I am totally with you on this one and would feel, would if even then up at the new house? Maybe see what happens and make sure you stay in contact with them if Possible and also make sure you’re not getting charged extra than the £600.

DaveTheDesigner · 05/06/2020 15:07

Many modern cars are worth £15+. Do you get this stressed when yours is at the garage?

TryingToBeBold · 05/06/2020 15:08

I'd be a little annoyed at not knowing where it was but you weren't there. Was he put on the spot? Therefore made what he thought was the right decision?

Out of curiosity what would you have done?

Aridane · 05/06/2020 15:08

YABU

I am exhausted reading this - your husband must be even more so

Lily193 · 05/06/2020 15:09

If the company has good reviews and you've personally checked they're genuine, I wouldn't worry.

I assume you have a separate insurance policy specifically for the hot tub so you could claim against this if anything goes wrong, although I appreciate this isn't ideal.

Highfivemum · 05/06/2020 15:10

I think your over reacting. My DH would say to me then you should have been there to meet the company. If you want something doing your way you have to do it yourself. I am sure it will be fine.

Winederlust · 05/06/2020 15:13

I agree with you OP.
My DH is very much of the shoulder shrug 'ah it'll be alright' variety, and would probably agree to changes like this without much thought if it was down to him. I'm a lot more cautious and wary. It's not a matter of trust as such, it's more that I would want to ensure exactly what was agreed, get it in writing if possible (even just a text) and maybe try and negotiate a discount. I think you should always cover yourself against the worst case scenario.
DH wouldn't have agreed something like this (involving such a high value item and a not insignificant cost for the removal) without consulting with me and I would be annoyed if he did. I'm sure he would be annoyed with me if I did the same.

everythingthelighttouches · 05/06/2020 15:21

YABU

When I read the title I wondered “what on earth could the DH have done, must be massive?” I didn’t expect some technical issue around a hot tub....

This is not going to sound very nice but you sound paranoid and controlling.

I’m just wondering if this is about something else? If you’re moving house in the middle of a pandemic it must be stressful.

I only ask because your reaction Just seems out of proportion.

mummmy2017 · 05/06/2020 15:22

The driver is in the wrong, your husband had no choice.

YouDirtyMare · 05/06/2020 15:23

Where did you get the man's number from ?
Where was he advertised ?

ItsNotAGameOfSubbuteoMatthew · 05/06/2020 15:24

Ofc you're not being unreasonable! I'd be pissed off at my DH if he was a pushover for a company's benefit but for only hassle and no benefit to me. You should definitely get a price reduction for a same day job they're taking 3 days to do. It's like paying a Yodel for a same day drop off and they hang onto it for the weekend at goodness knows what depot but charge you the same day delivery price. Nope. YANBU.

shiningstar2 · 05/06/2020 15:25

I am in your camp op. When I make an arrangement and pay well for it, I expect it to happen. I don't expect the company I am using to overbook then fob me off to another day. A friend of mine took a day's annual leave to have carpets fitted before the lock down started. The company rang her about 11.30 to say they couldn't make it. Too late for her to get into work and salvage even a half a day of her leave. They seemed to think it was the 50s and the little woman could just wait around any day for them. She had no further annual leave to take. Caused her massive problems. Some company's can be very casual about things like this and it's not on. In the case of your hot tub, if it was going to be a hot weekend, I would be suspicious that they were going to borrow it lol ...but then I am probably even more cynical than you. Hope it all goes well in the end op.

TeaChocKitKat · 05/06/2020 15:25

Only on mumsnet. First world problems. Try following the news OP and get a sense of perspective.

m0therofdragons · 05/06/2020 15:29

When did you last get it serviced? If it was recently then it would be unnecessary to do that but otherwise, seems like a good idea to get it serviced before re installing it. They offered and dh said yes. Why isn’t he allowed to make decision?

Our hot tub is serviced annually. It was £13k so I won’t be replacing it when it breaks so we like to keep it in good condition. Most parts are cheap to replace (although the lid is going on ours and that’s pricey 😬)

marmalade86 · 05/06/2020 15:30

You are really angry about this and it is reasonable to feel this way. The situation has led to an undesirable outcome which you can feel angry about, but it seems you might be perpetuating your anger unnecessarily.

Yes, it is an expensive piece of equipment, but rationally-speaking, what is the actual probability it will come to some harm? It is remote - it is just as likely to fall off during transportation as it is to get struck by lightening in the location they are keeping it in over the weekend. It doesn't serve the company to damage it, and it is not like they can easily steal it either. Not impossible, definitely not at all likely though. I think you are catastrophising scenarios and this is fueling your anger and causing you to ruminate unnecessarily. You will only end up feeling more angry and frustrated if you hold on to the thought that it is probable that something will happen to your hot tub.

The other thing that is making you angry relates to your husband. You are annoyed that he allowed this to happen. As you have seen from the responses, people have a range of views on what is reasonable. There is not absolute, right way this should have been handled - your view is no more right or wrong that his course of action. If you try to accept this, you might feel less angry. As someone else mentioned, one solution is that you deal with these sorts of things if you are unhappy with how your husband deals with them in the future. But it would probably be better to find a way to accept how he deals with these kind of situations.

NameChangeNugget · 05/06/2020 15:31

You’re getting very excited over nothing.

Oxyiz · 05/06/2020 15:31

"My husband didn't fight the tradesman to get our hot tub delivered quickly" has to go down as one of the more Mumsnet things I've read. but I'm probably jealous as I'd love to be in the position of owning multiple properties and a hot tub.

Why not give a friendly call to the company and see if you can sort it, just explain there's been a misunderstanding?

ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal · 05/06/2020 15:34

Are your diamond shoes too tight as well?

Thelnebriati · 05/06/2020 15:34

YANBU. You don't sound paranoid or controlling either, just not gullible enough to let someone change the contract at the last minute and demand cash.

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