Husband pretended to ejaculate - WWYD

[mrsblobbywalrus]

NC for what I’m hoping are obvious reasons. This is fairly mortifying but I would really, really like some input and don’t want to discuss with friends as they know DH and don’t want to embarrass him.

I’m heavily pregnant. Usually DH and I have a great sex life, if a bit predictable (but we are both happy with that and that’s married life with children)! Currently as v pregnant and resemble Mrs Blobby, sex is probably every 2 weeks, so not frequent. It’s very formulaic - bit of foreplay to sort me out/fiddle with him, then fairly quick penetrative sex. All over quickly but everyone happy and satisfied and then we go to sleep. All fine.

Yesterday, during the foreplay, DH very clearly finished in his pants. He then, for reasons I just don’t understand, decided to pretend that this wasn’t the case, essentially thumbing in a semi and pretending to then finish inside me 30 seconds later. I obviously just went along with the charade.

I consider DH to be my best friend. We talk about anything (if anything I’m quite irritating and like to over-talk stuff, hence wanting the input from you fine people) - but I am not sure if this is something I just avoid like the plague/pretend didn’t happen so as not to embarrass....OR if I should be concerned that he didn’t want to tell me about it. He never hides things from me. Is this just embarrassment?

It’s worth mentioning (although I now sound insane) that during the foreplay time, over lockdown probably, he has tried to stop me from touching him at the same time. This makes me wonder If this is related and perhaps a bit more of an issue...but caused by what?

Enabled voting for YABU - do NOT speak to him
YANBU - ask if everything is ok etc/why he didn’t feel he could talk to you

I’m so sorry for the content of the post!

Glad you talked to him and it’s sorted @mrsblobbywalrus.

I'm thinking if it's not regular thst this happens maybe he was embarrassed about the situation. Also I think in his own way he was trying to be a good husband and maybe carry on for your sake so you didn't go without ?

If this is becoming a lot more regular it could be an inner of things. Maybe his age ? Maybe the whole covid situation? Are there money worries? Is it first pregnancy and he is a little worried. ? Maybe like one of the other ladies says he is finding you a big turn in in your pregnant state ?

It could be a health or mental issue. Or it could be nothing just a change in sexual energy.

Might be he just didn't want to disappoint you and couldn't think of how to say he'd ejaculated. Is it worth saying anything to him. How would you react if you were in his position. I'd be mortified. I'd not say anything.

Oh gosh. In long term relationships sex doesn't stay as it did when you first met. When you're pregnant, after you have children and for years after. Personally I'd be very careful about emasculating a man's sexual performance at the moent. It really doesn't matter if he came too early. In the clear and safe light of day its good to say you don't need to fake it, as I don't. Instead, and better, is if in those circumstances he spent his time pleasuring you to climax.

What a liberation if its not all focused on his ejaculation. You can explore different measures and dimensions of defining fulfilment. This will be vital after children come into the equation - it often affects sex drive. Nows the time to open up more interesting discussions about what works for both of you. Penetration and male orgasm is a very limiting definition of satisfactory sex.

I never understand why one post is accepted by mumsnetters and another is not. There is no need for unhelpful comments, be nice, and I'd you haven't anything nice to add... Don't! I think this post is totally acceptable. The op is asking for help and advice which she wouldn't like to talk to people in rl about. Glad you got everything sorted.

Perhaps he was feeling religious and hoping for a second cumming?
Then remembered he’s not the reloading teenager he once was?

I know it's sorted but what I thought was he may be fantasising in his head and got carried away? Because bit of foreplay to sort me out/fiddle with him, then fairly quick penetrative sex doesn't sound good. fiddle with him sounds gross to be frank. I know you say you're both happy with it but are you sure he is? And are you 100% happy? Isn't it boring?!

@Forgothowtospell

Thanks for this. Some of these posts are actually pretty unpleasant. I’m not asking for comments on the frequency or sexual activity. Those things are subjective. I also don’t see what is wrong with me asking this. I feel much better about it all having spoken to DH actually, and having had a laugh about it and letting him know of course I don’t mind in the least if he finished a bit early! And that next time he can just say/it’s clear to me anyway.

@WaterOffADucksCrack

I used the word “fiddling” because I didn’t want to be overly explicit. Usually that results in the OP being called a troll. Also it’s not wanking because he stops me so it’s really more just fondling or whatever. If you need to know. And it might not sound nice for you but I am nearly months Pregnant so it’s pretty good actually for us. Normally when I’m small and able to actually move around we have a very varied sex life. Probably why we don’t mind this situation. But thank you for all the comments digging into this. Going to step away from this post because people apparently can’t help themselves.

OP. It's not uncommon for a man to ejaculate without orgasm.
It sounds like this is what has happened.
He probably 'thumbed himself in' in order to...
A. Give you sexual pleasure.
B. Orgasm himself.
I would leave it.
On the issue of premjac, try distraction if you think he's going to arrive at the station early.

Forget and move on

I don't understand why it is embarrassing. You have been together 7 years not 3 months. He had an orgasm as did you. Does it matter how it came about?

Bit defensive! I went overdue with both mine so I understand changing things whilst you're pregnant but there's still a variety of things and positions you can do. It just sounds a bit mechanical, you don't have to do it at all you know!

If you need to know I didn't say I needed to know I just said it didn't sound nice the way you worded it!

Going to step away from this post because people apparently can’t help themselves. Can't help themselves doing what?! Translation: I'm got getting 100% answers I want so I'm flouncing.

Haven't rtft but maybe he didn't want to disappoint you?

Lol some people on here are so serious.
I’m glad you sorted it with a giggle, OP.

Also, sad but not surprising that at least one pp has suggested an affair. Honestly, you could post here looking for advice on laxatives and somebody would ask if you're sure your DH isn't banging another woman.

@borntohula totally agree!

If you and DH are best friends as well and can discuss anything just get on and discuss it.

Op are you going to delete this thread or keep it open for the next time?

What makes you think that's there's going to be a next tine?