To ask, where are all the nice MEN?

[DestinedtobeAlone]

Sick of meeting time wasters. 'Men' who lead you on and play with your heart: they don't know what they want, they're only after sex, use you for sex, use you for an ego boost, they're not over their ex, ashamed of their current circumstances, they're not actually interested but don't explicitly state this, are too shy/awkward to properly interact with a love interest...

So, where are they???

I'm not religious, atheist in fact. And this may come across as old fashioned but you should wait a while before having sex with someone. Most men OLD just want sex and they'll trick you in to thinking they just want a relationship when they really want to get an easy, free shag. Be very careful.

I married a decent man. He was my first serious “Serious” relationship.
For me he’s amazing and we’ve been together for over 20 years. My girlfriends love him but I know many of them were/still are looking for that clothes-ripping, all encompassing passion with a brooding male. I bet they’d still would not date him.
I was happy with the quiet, handsome beanpole who treated me like an equal, cared and respected me (and my clothes) .
He made me a better person.
In reality, I had a strict list. I could not stand lazy, drunks, drug users, chauvinists, racists....
Some times is pure luck but some times, I felt ruthless.
Once I left halfway thru a drink because my dress said to him that I was “asking for it”. (It was a boring knee length black shift dress from warehouse).

I found my partner online dating. He was a year out of a 14 year relationship, no kids, highly paid professional job, handsome and funny. You’d think I’d have fallen at his feet. Nope, I was so full of self loathing i turned him down for a date about a hundred times. Luckily he just liked chatting to me, do we chatted for six months through text until we finally met. Nine years and two children later I’m NEVER letting him go.

A shy awkward man is probably a better bet than one who makes big showy romantic gestures too early on in the relationship.

I met my nice man when I joined a choir. I got to know him socially first so he wasn’t a completely unknown quantity. Married 30 years.

I was 31 one year old chubby, not very pretty, introvert and a virgin. I had a nice job, nice group of friends, lived on my own and had a nice life. My mother was scared to death of me remaining single and couldn't understand why I'm alone. She herself was trapped in loveless marriage with a gambler who couldn't do anything on his own, so I always wondered why she wanted the same life for me.

The truth is, I had a long list of things I wanted from my partner and by that time I haven't met him. I dated, but I liked living on my own and had no need for a partner if he didn't tick all my boxes. So I would go on a few dates, but things never lasted enough.

I met my husband online. I actually posted an ad on a forum much like Mumsnet. A lot of guys answered, I went out with few of them but nothing happened. He lived 260 km away from me and we met three moths after we started talking online. He came to my hometown one Saturday afternoon and the rest is history.

For me, meeting him was like finding a home I never had. Something just clicked. He was the first person in my life I was totally honest from the very start. Never once in our life together I had to pretend to be somebody else.

On our second date he made me a dinner and asked me what I want from life and I answered, truthfully: "I want a family, somebody I'll wake up with in the morning, cuddle, prepare kids for school, go to work, somebody I'll share my life in every aspect, somebody who wants that boring life with me". I was lucky he wanted the same things.

We married two years after we met, have been married for seven years. We have two beautiful kids, a boy and a girl. He is my partner in every way. While I write this he is changing a nappy and dressing our baby girl. I don't believe in soul mates, but if they exist, he is mine.