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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how long it took you to conceive?

128 replies

SummerMeadows20 · 03/06/2020 23:35

Now I know the answers here are going to vary massively but if you didn’t have fertility issues, how long did it take you to conceive your first child?

I’m 33, DH says we should ‘get on with it soon’ as neither of us are getting any younger. Whilst I know that’s true, I still don’t feel ready. I still feel like I’d resent being pregnant and having a child, especially at the moment with all the Corona stuff going on.

But then I keep thinking, what if one, or both of us has fertility issues that we don’t know about and we end up having to try for years?!

Is there an average amount of time to conceive before it’s classed as a ‘problem?’

Are most people months or years?! The few friends of mine that have children didn’t seem to take long at all but I’m pretty sure that can’t be the norm?!

OP posts:
TheGoogleMum · 04/06/2020 09:58

From coming off pill 6 months. I have friends that that faster and slower though. My friend with pcos got pregnant in about 4 months I think!

CoffeeDay · 04/06/2020 10:04

3 pregnancies (2 at 31, 1 at 33), 1-2 months for all
First two ended up in miscarriage, 3rd was DD!

You can simply stop contraception and just see what happens. I didn't want to actively TTC with charts & ovulations sticks because I knew I'd obsess over symptoms, test too early, worry about every ache and twinge etc. Two of our pregnancies happened by chance during holidays where we just happened to have sex more often and it overlapped with the fertile window. I only realised I was pregnant weeks later when my period didn't start properly and that spared me a lot of stress in the early days.

BillyAndTheSillies · 04/06/2020 10:20

Three months both times. I was 26 and 30 at the time. Also have PCOS so it surprised me how quickly it all happened.

Chanel05 · 04/06/2020 12:37

The one thing I would say - just before I started ttc my best friend said to me, "Babies come when they're ready. It took me two years to have my baby in my arms and DH and my fertility is normal, so just be prepared that it can take time." My response to her was, "Two years, nooo I can't wait that long!" By the time I give birth in September 2020, It'll have been 27 months since I first started ttc.

AWryGiraffe · 04/06/2020 14:31

I was 31, second month of trying, after tracking my periods for a few months before hand. Would've waited a bit longer had I known it would be so quick!! But you don't know until you try.

MrsR87 · 04/06/2020 14:46

I’m 32. We started trying in November 2019 and we conceived in February 2020. I had been on the pill since I was 18.

2beautifulbabs · 04/06/2020 15:10

I'm 33 years old and I fell pregnant first month with both my DCs.
I was 29 with my DS first month of trying and I was 31 with my DD first month again of trying.
I know I was very very lucky to have fallen so quick with both my DCs and not to have had the heartache or anxiety of month after month of testing.
However I didn't have easy pregnancy with my DD my last had a few little scares thought I was losing her early on when I had spotting and then split stomach muscles pain was horrendous and thought it was something wrong with baby than me at the time.

Laserbird16 · 04/06/2020 15:21

We decided to start a family when I was 35 and with DD1 it took approx 13 months (but we didn't really try for a while, then took it a bit more seriously with an app and sex every other day around ovulation). Second time around I had to wait for my period to return approx 18 months after DD1 - who was a total milk vacuum - so approx 7 months of trying but realistically 3 months of opportunity. Unfortunately that pregnancy ended in miscarriage but I was pregnant a month later and now have DD2. So all done and dusted at 38.

BoudicasBoudoir · 04/06/2020 15:25

It took me five years to conceive at all, and then I had a miscarriage.

But that’s just me. Why bother asking other people at all? We are all different.

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 04/06/2020 15:31

As seems to be the case for a few people on this thread, I didn’t have fertility issues, but after 15 odd years on hormonal contraception my periods didn’t immediately come back. Once they did I fell pregnant fairly quickly (six months with no period, fell pregnant the next month when my periods returned). I was 30-ish. Used condoms between DC1 and DC2 and fell pregnant with DC2 as soon as we stopped using them.

StoneSourFan · 04/06/2020 15:38

It took us 2.5 years to conceive, unexplained infertility (aka couldn't find a reason why I wasn't getting pregnant) and we were both 30 when she was born.
Guidelines say if your under 35 if you haven't conceived within a year to seek medical help and if your over 35 it's after 6 month.
I don't know if you ever feel ready, but if you feel you may resent being pregnant then now isn't the right time xx

pawpatrolpawpatrol · 04/06/2020 15:39

3-4 months on each occasion (3 pregnancies between the age of 33-37). These all happened without doing any kind of monitoring dates, ovulation sticks etc.

I always was worried about fertility issues, so was surprised each time we concieved very easily. What I didn't anticipate was having two late losses and how this feeds into the timeline of family planning.
Hate to say it- but it's not just thinking about getting pregnant- it's staying pregnant too and how long it takes to emotionally recover each time.
If you want more than one child then i'd start sooner rather than later

Pleasenodont · 04/06/2020 15:50

2-3 months each time but I was younger than you with all of my pregnancies.

Pleasenodont · 04/06/2020 15:50

Also should have said you seek help if you still haven’t conceived after a year so anything up to a year is normal.

OhamIreally · 04/06/2020 15:54

Got pregnant first time. I was 40.

AlitheAllosaurus · 04/06/2020 16:00

DC1 6 months off contraception (age 25)
DC2 3 years actively trying with ovulation tests and referral to fertility clinic when we conceived (age 30)
Same DH, I did have a misc 1 year into TTC DC2. It was quite a surprise it took so long second time round. We waited to try until the perfect time with DC2 and then ended up taking so long that our age gap was bigger than we would have preferred. It’s such an unknown until you start ttc.

Ceara · 06/06/2020 05:40

@Bertiebotts thanks, that's interesting. No I didn't, we just had the standard range of tests after 6 months, kept trying for another couple of years but nada, then went straight to IVF and we were lucky 2nd time, DS is now 6 :-) But circumstantially it could be the issue. My family are definitely not a bunch of fertile myrtles! I'm an only child and my mum had recurrent miscarriages before me; my first IVF cycle ended in very early loss; my mum's cousin also had difficulties and her (only) daughter had unexplained infertility and IVF... it goes on...

(Sorry OP for the hijack. As you were.)

Adelais · 06/06/2020 08:53

First pregnancy - 20 months in mid 20s
Second - first time but was ectopic
Third - 6 months
Fourth - 3 months at 32

If you want to wait but are worried about your fertility you could maybe get some tests done like an Amh test to check your egg reserves.

BertieBotts · 06/06/2020 10:16

Oh wow, yes, in that case sounds like it could be worth investigating - maybe worth a mention to any younger relatives of TTC age or DC themselves when older. It would be picked up via amniocentesis, BTW. That's how DH's parents discovered his.

kazza446 · 06/06/2020 10:25

I was very lucky and conceived first month of trying. I was very lucky in that DH only had to look at me and I dropped pregnant. We went on to have 4 children. Final 3 weren’t planned, just happened!! Wouldn’t have had it any other way. He did have to have the snip after 4th though!

metellaestinatrio · 06/06/2020 11:40

9 months for DC1 aged 31-32 but had been on the pill continuously for 13 years beforehand which I am convinced had an impact.

First try for DC2 aged 34 (husband quite disappointed!), having not gone back on the pill inbetween.

I have PCOS as well, which I thought would cause more problems than it did.

Now considering DC3!

Staffymumma · 07/06/2020 08:02

First time we started trying at 25 we fell straight away in first month, that ended in a tfmr stillborn unfortunately at 22 weeks. Began trying a few months after and it took us 8 months to fall pregnant which I’m 7weeks pregnant with now x

Dollywilde · 07/06/2020 08:07

10 months at 29 (me) and 33 (him). It was tough going. We thought about waiting and tbh I’m glad we didn’t, I’m now 30 weeks and will be having our first aged 31.

nanbread · 07/06/2020 09:10

32 and it happened first time
35 and got "pregnant" first time but was a chemical pregnancy (positive test, but then period came late)
35 tried again the next month, got pregnant first time, but had a miscarriage at 13 weeks
35 tried again, got pregnant second time

MistyIsland · 07/06/2020 09:57

About 2 years for Dc1, I’d had several miscarriages and had been sent to the fertility clinic, I was 27 when I finally got pregnant and went past 16 weeks.

Dc2 had the coil removed and was pregnant within 6 weeks. Wasn’t expecting that to be honest we thought we’d be trying for ages is why we only have a just under a 2 year gap between the kids. I thought with all the problem we’d had previously it was take another 2 years it didn’t.

A friend on mine caught first cycle, another friend had a miscarriage then a full term pregnancy, another friend is still trying (3 years and counting) everyone is different

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