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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU: boyfriend feels weird with me

96 replies

DaisyDoo121 · 02/06/2020 21:25

Hi, i've been with boyfriend for just over a year and we're mid 20s.
We go on socially distance walks and today things felt off.
We sat in a field with another household (friends) spread apart and had a lovely day.

However, on the way there he was joking about how fat my best friend was and he wonders if they'll (her and her boyfriend) be whales by now.
I told him I didn't find it funny him speaking about my best friend like that and he said he was only joking but that it's true.
And then things just felt quiet apart from him cracking jokes about weight.

As we waited for the friend couple to show up I told him I feel he's being a bit cocky today which is unlike him and he joked that he's just funny.

On the field, my friend's boyfriend mentioned that he was only eating fruit and a meal a day. On the way back my boyfriend joked to me that he was clearly lying looking at his weight.
He then started saying how tiny I look (I hate being called tiny) and I said "It was lovely on the field, thanks for coming, I love you" and he didnt say it back until 5 minutes later. He was probably joking but I feel insecure now i've got home.

He's been invited to a social-distance garden get together with his friends on Saturday - only 4 of them - but ever since he's heard he's being invited, it feels like he's just gone cocky is the only way i can describe it.

I just didnt feel like it was him today

OP posts:
ChocolateQuiltedShitPig · 02/06/2020 21:31

He's a nasty man child. Get rid

DaisyDoo121 · 02/06/2020 21:36

It just felt so unlike him. He's always been a "joker" but today felt more mean and attitudy

OP posts:
Kellylabrant87 · 02/06/2020 21:36

Trust your gut! You know him best!

JamieLeeCurtains · 02/06/2020 21:40

That sounds quite immature and annoying at best tbh. At worst he wants you to pick a fight and dump him for some reason.

What's your gut feeling?

DaisyDoo121 · 02/06/2020 21:43

I don't really know if i'm just being silly but I'm just worried is he getting bored because we obviously cant do much with lockdown - it's really just walks - or am I overthinking

OP posts:
1Morewineplease · 02/06/2020 21:45

Maybe the scales have fallen away from your eyes. It sounds like you are suddenly seeing him for what he’s worth.

DaisyDoo121 · 02/06/2020 21:45

I know we shouldnt (sorry to those who wont be happy) but we have a kiss to say goodbye. And usually it's lovely but today he decided to make silly noises and (it's hard to describe) but he just basically stuck out his lower lip and rubbed it on my lips.
I've probably explained that awfully but he was being "funny" again

OP posts:
GhostCurry · 02/06/2020 21:46

“He's been invited to a social-distance garden get together with his friends on Saturday - only 4 of them - but ever since he's heard he's being invited, it feels like he's just gone cocky is the only way i can describe it.”

This is so weird 😂

DaisyDoo121 · 02/06/2020 21:48

@GhostCurry why's it weird? I'm rubbish at explaining things so i can probably elaborate Grin

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 02/06/2020 21:48

I would really struggle to go out with someone who was nasty about how my friends looked. Because that tells you everything about what he values and the type of person he is.

lyralalala · 02/06/2020 21:48

@DaisyDoo121

I know we shouldnt (sorry to those who wont be happy) but we have a kiss to say goodbye. And usually it's lovely but today he decided to make silly noises and (it's hard to describe) but he just basically stuck out his lower lip and rubbed it on my lips. I've probably explained that awfully but he was being "funny" again
He sounds like a teenage boy.

He probably ruined the kiss because you pulled him up on his knob behaviour

AliasGrape · 02/06/2020 21:51

He sounds about 12.

And I couldn’t be with anyone who insulted my best friend like that. Vile.

Adelaideroad · 02/06/2020 21:52

Is he cocky because he feels like a Chosen One re the party of 4? It is weird to feel like that outside of primary school. Who else is going to the party that ups the ante and makes it the social invite of the year?

SpillTheTeaa · 02/06/2020 21:53

If you kiss to say goodbye then sorry I highly doubt you stay social distant.
He's a cock. Get rid or better leave him in the fucking field next time.

Hugglespuffed · 02/06/2020 21:53

Opening paragraph: We go on socially distance walks

Op in a later paragraph: I know we shouldnt (sorry to those who wont be happy) but we have a kiss to say goodbye

So basically, you go for a walk together. Because you clearly don't know what socially distance walk is do you?

Aside from that, he sounds really immature. How old is he? I could not be with someone who fat shamed my friends to me..

DaisyDoo121 · 02/06/2020 21:54

He's probably not cocky about that but it feels he's been a bit more 'lads lad' since he found out he'll have a little reunion with friends.

It's more the way he spoke about my friend that irked me

OP posts:
1FootInTheRave · 02/06/2020 21:54

Get rid.

He sounds mean and unkind. Not remotely funny, just a complete arse.

DaisyDoo121 · 02/06/2020 22:04

He's 24

OP posts:
NeutrinoWrangler · 02/06/2020 22:16

Not seeing his appeal, honestly. I assume he's perfectly toned and very attractive, since he feels comfortable mocking other people for being overweight.

As for his maturity, I would've guessed he was closer to 14 than 24.

DaisyDoo121 · 02/06/2020 22:20

I just find it offensive because my mum is very overweight. I wouldnt even say my friend is "fat". Yes she is medically considered overweight but she's not morbidly obese. She's just an average weight and it suits her.

I told him I found he was being quite nasty. He then said he doesn't like overweight people and don't understand why they just cant lose weight Hmm

I then said it's not as if they're almost bedbound. They've just gained a few pounds over the years which most people do!

My mum is overweight and has been up and down with her diets. So what? If she's happy then why is it his concern?

OP posts:
sonjadog · 02/06/2020 22:27

He sounds like a dick. Do you want to be with someone who thinks like that about overweight people? Who is that shallow and lacking in empathy? And also with someone who gets so excited about going to sit in someone's garden that it gives him a personality transplant?

SpillTheTeaa · 02/06/2020 22:29

Omg he's disgusting.
So, would he say the same for people on steroids or when you see ill kids balloon because of their medication?
Imagine having to breed with that scumbag. Urgh.
Just get rid, he'll never like your mum then will he.
He's a fucking nasty piece of shit. Probably got a travel size penis too.

BabyBrainJane · 02/06/2020 22:31

I think this is who he always was and for some reason you didn’t notice it/ ignored it before. Now because you’ve had distance for a while it’s suddenly painfully obvious that he was a wanker the whole time 💐 x

TARSCOUT · 02/06/2020 22:34

Sounds like he was trying to start an argument. Can't see a good ending OP, but you'll be well rid.

Vamoosh · 02/06/2020 22:34

Imagine if you ended up gaining a few pounds due to medication. His appalling opinions on people’s appearance wouldn’t fill me with confidence that he would stick around. In my experience most males don’t mature until they turn 30 but maybe that’s just me.

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