AIBU: boyfriend feels weird with me

[DaisyDoo121]

Hi, i've been with boyfriend for just over a year and we're mid 20s.
We go on socially distance walks and today things felt off.
We sat in a field with another household (friends) spread apart and had a lovely day.

However, on the way there he was joking about how fat my best friend was and he wonders if they'll (her and her boyfriend) be whales by now.
I told him I didn't find it funny him speaking about my best friend like that and he said he was only joking but that it's true.
And then things just felt quiet apart from him cracking jokes about weight.

As we waited for the friend couple to show up I told him I feel he's being a bit cocky today which is unlike him and he joked that he's just funny.

On the field, my friend's boyfriend mentioned that he was only eating fruit and a meal a day. On the way back my boyfriend joked to me that he was clearly lying looking at his weight.
He then started saying how tiny I look (I hate being called tiny) and I said "It was lovely on the field, thanks for coming, I love you" and he didnt say it back until 5 minutes later. He was probably joking but I feel insecure now i've got home.

He's been invited to a social-distance garden get together with his friends on Saturday - only 4 of them - but ever since he's heard he's being invited, it feels like he's just gone cocky is the only way i can describe it.

I just didnt feel like it was him today

Could he be struggling with lockdown OP? Not to excuse the comments about your friend’s weight (rude, inappropriate and unnecessary), but I know lots of people are feeling the strain (myself included) and having off days of not being in the best of moods or spirits. Many will also be experiencing feelings of depression.

If he’s not normally an arse maybe just let it slide this time and keep an eye on how things go.

Well done for telling him straight that he was being an arse. Agree it was out of order.

Perhaps you weren't wearing your rose-tinted glasses today, and saw him for who he really is?

Listen to your gut instinct.

He was an arse but given the current situation I would give him a second chance. Cabin fever does strange things to people.

I agree that because you have been apart, all of a sudden you are no longer ''syncing''. This might be a good opportunity to investigate interests of your own, and take things from there.

Your relationship might have run its course...

He doesn't respect you so dump him. You are young enough to get over this idiot and I hope that you will meet a man who really does respect you which is exactly what happened to me after a few idiots.

I wonder if you feel anxious because the lip thing repulsed you and it's so off-putting?

He's not a decent guy. Arrogant dim arsehole.

You can do better, honestly. I hope you're not thinking of planning a baby with this arsehole.

My ds is 24. I'd be ashamed if he behaved in that way. Kick him to the kerb OP.

Revolting. Dump him!

He doesn't sound like a very kind or nice person
Don't waste any more of your time with him

Everyone can have an off day. If he's not usually like that, then perhaps he's been isolated and spending too much time chatting with his (equally immature boy) mates,..

But
I told him I found he was being quite nasty. He then said he doesn't like overweight people and don't understand why they just cant lose weight

Yeah, that isn't great.

-He doesn't care you think he's being nasty- not a good long term sign

-He thinks your friend and mum are fat and that he's ok to judge people on their weight

-Don't have a baby with him, this isn't an empathetic supportive grown up man who'd support you through carrying his baby. He'll criticise

• ewww to the stupid kissing. You are literally on lockdown not allowed to touch so he wastes the only kiss you are sneaking?

Sorry, but he sounds an immature prick . That's why you feel anxious and uncomfortable, These things are deal breakers, You've heart ache ahead and apologising to others for him in your future, if you intend to stay with him,

I would dump anybody who spoke about another person like that let alone a good friend!!!
I wouldn’t care if lockdown was getting to him either, lockdown has got to a lot people but you don’t hear them coming out with crap like that!

Do you really want to have a future with someone like that! If you have a child with him and put on a few pounds will he be horrible about you? Make you upset and have negative thoughts? Life is too short for shit like that!
He has said it now and there is no going back, even if he don’t say it out loud to you again the thoughts are still in his tiny head! Dump him

Mmm I wonder who is going to the BBQ/ party he’s been invited to.
Sounds like he’s trying to pick an argument so he can say you weren’t together so he gets a pass.

If you're having a kiss to say goodbye, your "social distancing" is a complete waste of time.

As for his maturity, I would've guessed he was closer to 14 than 24.

This ^^

Nah he's horrible. Bin time. I would not be with someone who slagged off my friends.

He's superficial, judgemental, unkind and immature.
He's also determined he's right and couldn't give a shit about your feelings.

Sounds like a catch...

@SpillTheTeaa why are you making jokes about his penis? That is offensive. What he has said is wrong but saying 'he probably has a travel size penis' is uncalled for and could offend more than just him.

To be honest it sounds like he isn't really interested anymore but doesn't want to be an adult and have a reasonable conversation to end the relationship so he's acting like a dick to get you to end things and he can play the victim because you dumped him.

But whatever the reason or motivation, dump him anyway. He won't get any better.

I once dumped a guy for describing one of my housemates as “the not very attractive one”. I didn’t even like the housemate, but I wasn’t dating someone who spoke about people that way.

All my rubbish relationships led me to my lovely husband, so onwards & upwards

He's obviously only with you because you are tiny. As the years go by, it's unlikely you will remain tiny - few people do. Pregnancy, health issues, lifestyle changes can all contribute. Do you seriously want to be with such a superficial man? Not only does he mock your friends and family, he's going to start mocking you one day.

Dump him. He's an immature twat and I'm sure you can do better. Loyalty to friends and family is surely more important than a relationship with a dickhead.

He sounds really, really weird.

Are you the same poster who wrote about her boyfriend telling her she wasn’t ‘invited’ to an event and you thought he was being mean? I can’t remember the details but thought it might be the barbecue and the invitation has gone to his head for some reason.

You can't shag him and he's not good company and makes unkind comments. Can't see the point of him at all.

Avoiding a proper kiss? I'd say he's just not into you.

He sounds like one of those men who constantly criticise their wives once they have had a baby and have 'baby weight'. Women's shape does often change after children and I suspect he will be up for criticising you in the same way as he is your friend.

He seems immature and will only love you if you conform to his standards on looks. People are more than what they look like.