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Now illegal to have sex with partner you don't live with?

736 replies

Sueannnnna · 01/06/2020 11:46

Lots of newspapers/online articles announcing this today.
Being in a private place with partner and having sex can lead to a £100 fine if i've read correctly.

The world is going cuckoo.
But who cares about seeing my boyfriend, at least I can go shopping in Primark and go sit on a packed train (sarcasm)

OP posts:
BlackForestCake · 01/06/2020 14:06

The late Frank Dobson MP is alleged to have said “You won’t stop folk shagging!" during a discussion in the 1980s of possible measures to stop the the spread of HIV. A very good point which reminds us that regulations need to remain realistic.

Starcup · 01/06/2020 14:07

Best keep quiet then when doing the business- no screaming or you could be reported!Shock

ItsGoingTibiaK · 01/06/2020 14:07

[quote BlackberryCane]As it happens, a number of lawyers have been discussing the relevance of the new amendments to sex tibiak. It certainly isn't limited to The Sun. Unless you think George Peretz, for example, is moonlighting for them when he isn't busy with the QCing.

twitter.com/GeorgePeretzQC/status/1267162604377706496[/quote]
Well, yes, with their tongues firmly in their cheeks (or those of members of their household) - and as an engaging way to make serious points about legislative procedure, rather than to cynically sell newspapers.

listsandbudgets · 01/06/2020 14:09

awwlookatmybabyspider DS's private prep reopened for reception and years 1 and 6 this morning. As far as i| know other private schools in the area have also reopened.

|I suspect that the likes of Eton are actually in a more difficult position because they have to work out how to sort out socially distanced boarding provision. Also they have many students that come from abroad.

DS is in year 3 so currently learning from the kitchen table

DS is in year 3 and desperate to go back. We need to assess the situation if and when the chance to return arises.

MarieQueenofScots · 01/06/2020 14:13

It isn't designed to stop people from having sex, that's purely sensational.

Yes its crap when you miss people, your choice I guess as to whether you want to risk (a) a fine and (b) getting ill.

BlackberryCane · 01/06/2020 14:14

Whatever motivated the various solicitors and barristers, it's clear that the new regulations do have implications relating to sex, and that more people than those working at The Sun think this and regard it as important. This isn't a great surprise. On a practical note, the number of people who would be having or seeking sex with someone other than a partner they live with if not for lockdown probably runs into the millions.

ChateauMargaux · 01/06/2020 14:15

The Swiss have come up with some rules which are deemed acceptable to them which permit sex work to resume but minimise the risk of Coronavirus transmission. Instead of supporting women, the government forces them back to work in a dehumanising manner.

HugeAckmansWife · 01/06/2020 14:19

awwlook someone else beat me to it. My private school has opened today. Kids are in classes of 12 anyway so not difficult to spread them out and staff it but no boarding provision yet obviously so schools which are fully boarding can't open. It's really not that hard to work out

ItsGoingTibiaK · 01/06/2020 14:20

@HugeAckmansWife

awwlook someone else beat me to it. My private school has opened today. Kids are in classes of 12 anyway so not difficult to spread them out and staff it but no boarding provision yet obviously so schools which are fully boarding can't open. It's really not that hard to work out
@hugeackmanswife

You’re either on the wrong thread or there are some serious safeguarding issues at your private school! 😉

ItsGoingTibiaK · 01/06/2020 14:22

@HugeAckmansWife

My mistake - I hadn’t spotted that the conversation had diverged from sex to schooling! 😉

prh47bridge · 01/06/2020 14:22

the government forces them back to work in a dehumanising manner

No, the Swiss government is not forcing them back to work. It is giving them the option to go back to work, which is very different. Prostitution has been legal in Switzerland since 1942 and the organisation that represents sex workers has been lobbying the government to allow them to return to work.

NaturesMantra · 01/06/2020 14:23

I think you can just use common sense: what if that so called “partner” is boinking many others who may have covid19, how do you know for sure, since you can’t be certain because he doesn’t live with you, that he isn’t plonking someone who had contact from Wuhan? @Sueannnnna

noego · 01/06/2020 14:25

Glory hole in the garden. Problem solved :)

thepeopleversuswork · 01/06/2020 14:25

Those people are saying that this has been the case since the start of lockdown are technically correct, but as is often the case you're missing the subtlety, which is the inconsistency, and the bigger picture, which is the broad contempt the inconsistency betrays for ordinary people.

Yes obviously its impossible to have sex while social distancing and if you weren't allowed outside the household and your partner lived outside the household that meant no sex.

I think that is upsetting to those of us in non-cohabiting LTRs is that while the law is slowly easing around things like shopping, exercise, having gatherings in the garden etc, it seems to be actively hardening up against people committing the very mundane sin of being in a relationship with someone you don't live with.

I'm sure its not by design, but it seems so punitive that people who don't cohabit are being subjected to something so tough when things are really easing up across the spectrum.

And its also playing into a nasty, 1950s seam that runs across society (and through mumsnet), which states that if you don't cohabit you can't be a legitimate couple, just a pair of lonely desperate people looking for sex wherever you can get it.

For people like me who have serious and loving relationships but who can't cohabit for a variety of well thought-out and private reasons, its insult to injury. And although almost certainly not deliberate, its just another example of how this government has absolutely no concept of how this is affecting ordinary people who don't have neat lives with non-working spouses, 2.5 children, nannies and housekeepers etc.

PasserbyEffect · 01/06/2020 14:28

Would it become legal if one of the partners paid for the "service"? Halo

HugeAckmansWife · 01/06/2020 14:28

it'sgoing no worries. Just irritates me when people make ill informed jibes at the private sector. As it happens I am in a serious non cohabiting relationship and when my kids have been away we've spent days and nights together. Im pretty pissed off with the pp who say we're being selfish, just wanting a shag or are less controlled than 18 year olds. A relationship at 18 can be intense and hormonal but not something you build a large part of your life around. Not having that, for an unspecified, indefinite period is v v difficult and different to most other scenarios

PasserbyEffect · 01/06/2020 14:30

(Am just reminded of the absurd paid VS unpaid childcare situation)

MrMeeseekscando · 01/06/2020 14:30

that so called “partner” is boinking many others who may have covid19, how do you know for sure, since you can’t be certain because he doesn’t live with you
That's very naive of you, I know of at least one married man that has had sex outside of his marriage and household during lockdown.

longwayoff · 01/06/2020 14:32

And as Bozo said, uncomprehending, about all the fuss about Cummings "well, it isn't as if he's having an affair". So thats ok then. Good to have it confirmed that no rules were being bent.

Smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 01/06/2020 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JinglingHellsBells · 01/06/2020 14:34

@sotiredofthislonelylife I don't see how being retired gives you licence to break lockdown. Do you?

I am retired too and have not been able to see my parents (in their 90s) for months, even though I have had practically zero contact with the outside world and effectively have self-isolated for 2 weeks after any trip to even a local shop.

That's because my parents live too far away and would necessitate an overnight stay at theirs.

Ditto my adult children- not seen them for months.

Your comment that the young have time on their side is not so.
Some women who are watching their bio clock and want a family are having to put dating on hold for months due to this. Time is running out for them in a very different way than for you.

It does seem as if people come up with their own reasons for breaking lockdown, and try to justify them, which in effect means we will also suffer again when there is another spike- which there will be.

JinglingHellsBells · 01/06/2020 14:37

I had my partner staying over with me this weekend. We are retired, and have both been very careful about social distancing when needing to shop etc.
@sotiredofthislonelylife

You are breaking lockdown.

I have been out 3 times since lockdown, each time for no more than 15 mins in a shop.

Why do you think being retired has anything to make it okay for you?

There are millions of people who are retired and hardly going out but nevertheless we are not staying overnight with family or anyone.

I hope you realise how selfish this behaviour is potentially.

thepeopleversuswork · 01/06/2020 14:38

NaturesMantra this is exactly the sort of ignorant attitude which is at the heart of this bias against non-cohabiting couples.

Do you think the fact that live together gives you some sort of guarantee that your partner isn't cheating? If that were the case then there would be no divorce, no sex scandals.

Smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 01/06/2020 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JustTurtlesAllTheWayDown · 01/06/2020 14:43

Glory hole in the garden. Problem solved
This made me laugh out loud Grin