to feel bad about not acknowledging the George Floyd murder to my employee this morning?

[user47000000000]

One of the girls who works for me happens to be black. I happen to be white. This is only relevant in context of this situation.

We have a great professional relationship and whilst we aren't friends outside work I know I have been a support to her with some personal things and with her professional development.

This morning I asked how her wkend was and she was very flat. I sensed something was wrong and asked her if she was alright, again she was flat and said she didn't really do anything. Her DH is a frontline worker and we have talked lots about her anxieties with this and how she finds it hard to relax so I thought "she clearly doesn't want to talk to me but is clearly not happy" so I said "well I hope you managed to get some down time to relax" to which she replied "well its hard to do that with everything that's been going on this weekend in the world".

I then twigged.

We had a very brief, awkward moment and then just talked about work. She didn't address it directly and neither did I.

At the end of the call I said "Look, I'm sorry if I was insensitive earlier". and she said "don't worry, everyone's the same".

I feel awful as I have obviously been outraged, saddened, angry about everything that's happened and have thought about it loads, what I can do, whether I'm raising my children in a way which fights injustice etc etc but I didn't think to mention it this morning. so is this white privilege? I feel awful.

@PegasusReturns totally! And for all we know they may even reside in the UK. What is WRONG with people????

And some people need to stop using the word "WOKE" in a derogatory fashion.

Caring that people don't get murdered because of the colour of their skin is just being a decent human being. If this makes someone woke then that's good!!!

*And some people need to stop using the word "WOKE" in a derogatory fashion.

Caring that people don't get murdered because of the colour of their skin is just being a decent human being. If this makes someone woke then that's good!!!*

^This. If that's what the word 'woke' means, (I never heard the word until this last year and only on Mumsnet), then I'm completely happy to be called that.

Woke doesn't tend to refer to 'being a good person' though. It's more the execution and often the righteousness that comes with them believing they are the 'right' ones.

I'm not referring to anyone in particular on this thread when I say that by the way.

Being Woke is about being alert injustice in society, primarily racism.

SOME people use it as a derogatory term in much the same way as The Daily Hate says things like "It's political correctness gone mad!!"

I was just pointing out that it's actually something to be applauded, given recent events 🤷‍♀️

@Glowcat, where is your evidence that George was treated this way because he is black?

Just because there's people charging about with signs and making their own minds up, it doesn't make it the motive. The officer has 18 previous complaints for various different things against various different ethnicities and against men and women.

He doesn't seem to target black men. He targets vulnerable people. George was vulnerable. Lost his job, down on his luck, heart condition and relying a bit on alcohol or substances to get through a shitty time. They worked for the same nightclub but it's not clear if they knew each other yet.

Nothing suggests this group of officers (3 of which are BAME) target black men specifically. People are just assuming and I think that's actually wrong. There's a number of reasons why George could have become a victim and jumping to conclusions that it's because he's black isn't right. His family want to find out the truth and want to know the pasts of all the officers, so why don't people just pipe down and actually see what comes out instead of being judge and jury and deciding what someone's motive was?

It seems more logical that the officer is infact a bully and on a power trip and takes advantage of any situation where he can exert control over others. The police in the UK wouldn't even respond to a call about a fake bank note, that's how petty the crime was that George was involved in. A victimless super petty crime that would get a slap on the wrist at most.

There's more to come and there's nothing wrong with keeping an open mind and finding out exactly what comes to light about this officer.

The issue is a big issue though (police brutality against black people especially) and needs addressing but you can make someone a poster for a crime that you can't say was in that category just because the man is black when there's zero facts out there yet.

Around one in a thousand black men & boys can expect to die at the hands of police in America

What is also even more shocking about this, isn't just that a white police officer murdered a black man in cold blood, but that his colleagues stood there and let it happen. I absolutely think it was a racist killing.

However, at the risk of being accused of whataboutery I wonder what the stats are for women in Iran, like 14 year old girls beheaded by their fathers in "honour killings". I'd quite like to see rioting about that.

It sounds like you are culturally appropriating the righteous anger and grief of proud black women, only then to filter it through white women’s tears.

I think you should read “Why I am no longer talking to white people about race”, and spend more time listening and less time whitesplaining.

Good Lord is this satire 😂😂😂, the op did nothing of the kind. shes not a mind reader.

It sounds like you are culturally appropriating the righteous anger and grief of proud black women, only then to filter it through white women’s tears. I think you should read “Why I am no longer talking to white people about race”, and spend more time listening and less time whitesplaining.

Word salad

Word Salad 😂🥗 im stealing that, if i could see anything through my white tears.

Jesus I’m cringing.

Your employee had a bit of a shit weekend and you jump to the conclusion that it must be because of GF because she’s black? (Er hello, I think CV is the biggest thing going on right now and is far more likely to have affected her recently).

And now you’re hand flapping and pearl clutching because you didn’t sympathise with her over an unknown man who died on the other side of the world with whom she happens to have skin colour in common with?

Be glad you didn’t say anything because you’d have made a complete twat out of yourself.

you jump to the conclusion that it must be because of GF because she’s black?

It was about him though... The OP spoke to her later in the day and apologised for being insensitive

@InterestingIris it did actually turn out that’s why OP’s colleague was upset though. And she expressed that OP was perhaps lacking for not knowing this was why she was down.

"Everyone's the same?"

I think you were sensitive and said enough, OP. I'd try not to give it more thought.

I think you did the right thing, it's so easy to say the wrong thing atm.
I have posted on fb, not opinion, just those box things, not memes, those inspirational ones.
I think it's important to provide support in any way you can. I'm a foot in mouth person, so keeping it shut.

I can’t see where the op said the employee confirmed it was about GF...

She assumed it was GF and apologised for ‘being insensitive’ and the employee said everyone’s the same.

Could easily have been the case that the employees down about CV/struggling with isolation/lack of childcare/whatever. Op apologises and employee assumes she’s talking about insensitivity about how the CV situation has affected her.

Sounds like your colleague is being over sensitive tbh.Not sure why you’d give it a second thought.

Does she tiptoe round you every time a white woman is murdered?

You are a revolting creature indeed. You actually make me feel sick with disgust. A white woman doesn't have to fear for her life every time she leaves the house. There is something seriously wrong with you.

I don’t think you did anything wrong and I am Black. But to the people comparing the death of George floyd to a white woman being murdered have seriously misunderstood the whole situation. That IS white privileged at its finest!

Thank god I am not alone in seeing it and thinking wtf did I just read?!

Doesn't take long for the mn racists to descend. I sickened by it but not surprised.

It's not enough to be not racist , we must be anti racist and call it out when we see/hear it.

so I said "well I hope you managed to get some down time to relax" to which she replied "well its hard to do that with everything that's been going on this weekend in the world".

Am I reading a different thread?

Hey come on folks, Every life matters.
I got into an argument with a friend who is black, over white privilage, I wish I'd kept my mouth shut, no way was she going to see things any differently, such a shame, been friends for years, I hope she gets it, because I got her point, even though I didn't agree.

What I'm trying to say it's words that can get you into such much trouble.

@ChilliCheese123 A lot of assumptions have been made on OP's part. They have no idea whether the colleague was referring to GF, they just assumed. The colleague could've been referring to COVID, lockdown, loss of jobs! etc OP said her DH is a frontline worker and colleague has had a lot of anxiety because of this.

OP somehow has assumed their flat mood must be about GF . They could both be completely talking at odds.

@HarlinRay

I had an old account completely disabled for suggesting that women who won’t leave their children with babysitters are overprotective but this
Does she tiptoe round you every time a white woman is murdered?Is allowed to stand.This is fucking monstrous*

Let it stay so the poster can be shown for the nasty little racist that they clearly are.

Hi, OP here... I knew it was about GF as we’ve talked a lot about CV very openly and I’d already asked how her DH was getting on(front line worker.)

Weirdly later in the day we had a video call with our boss (white man) who asked about our wkends. This woman was vague but visibly pissed off and our boss addressed it directly and started talking about his African American friends in the US. She looked pretty indifferent and a bit eye rolly.

You’re right that I don’t know what racism she may face in her role. I just have only ever heard positive things about her as she’s very talented and a smart, great person to have on a team, hard working and technically skilled. But I guess it is white privilege to assume that cause I don’t see it it doesn’t happen.

‘Every life matters’, does it?

This is a very relevant tweet with a clip from Clara Amfo this morning, well worth a listen, especially perhaps if you think black people are being over-sensitive if they are being affected by the tragedies happening in the USA, a country with which we have a 'special relationship'...
twitter.com/SteveH1982/status/1267770939242135552?s=20