to feel bad about not acknowledging the George Floyd murder to my employee this morning?

[user47000000000]

One of the girls who works for me happens to be black. I happen to be white. This is only relevant in context of this situation.

We have a great professional relationship and whilst we aren't friends outside work I know I have been a support to her with some personal things and with her professional development.

This morning I asked how her wkend was and she was very flat. I sensed something was wrong and asked her if she was alright, again she was flat and said she didn't really do anything. Her DH is a frontline worker and we have talked lots about her anxieties with this and how she finds it hard to relax so I thought "she clearly doesn't want to talk to me but is clearly not happy" so I said "well I hope you managed to get some down time to relax" to which she replied "well its hard to do that with everything that's been going on this weekend in the world".

I then twigged.

We had a very brief, awkward moment and then just talked about work. She didn't address it directly and neither did I.

At the end of the call I said "Look, I'm sorry if I was insensitive earlier". and she said "don't worry, everyone's the same".

I feel awful as I have obviously been outraged, saddened, angry about everything that's happened and have thought about it loads, what I can do, whether I'm raising my children in a way which fights injustice etc etc but I didn't think to mention it this morning. so is this white privilege? I feel awful.

@WhatIsLife20

So would a police officer need to shout ‘I’m killing this man because he is black’ in order for us to deem it a hate crime??? Would that be your ‘hard evidence’. Yes thats likely to happen isn’t it??? You sound ridiculous.

The protest is not about proving why he was killed, its about the fact that black people are disproportionately killed by the police!! Its not hard to understand. It’s almost like people on this forum find any reason to be obtuse to the point where they sound so dumb it hurts. Christ

Unfortunately, corrupt racist police have created a problem and it will be difficult for people to look past it when a white officer kills a black person. The damage has been done. That needs fixing first before analysing what other reasons there are for a police officer to unlawfully kill a civilian.

There certainly is a wider question about why the Latino, Black and Asian officers didn't step in. But it certainly isn't unusual for people not to intervene when they witness an assault. But it may also be that BAME police officers are intimidated by their white counterparts and their complaints aren't acted upon?

@thecatsthecats I agree, it's certainly not universal, no. Some victims find healing and do all they can to protect other people going through what they did. It helps that therapy is available now, though (I've benefited from that) and that we understand the effects of trauma. In the past, survivors were left to just get on with it.

George was not killed because he is black. He was killed because the US is a disgrace and allowed an officer with 18 previous complaints (not all against black people) and another officer, who is BAME, with an official case of battery against someone (a black man) to continue working on the police force.

Two officers that have violence in their bones and power on their minds.

Nothing to do with race and everything to do with the failing and not fit for purpose policing system in the US.

You can't make special allowance for people having obscene child abuse videos on their phone. You think no black police have obscene videos on their phone? And if they do they all get off?

I'm white, and I wouldn't consider it appropriate to ask a black colleague how they feel about the death of George Floyd if they didn't bring it up first. It just seems patronising.

Think your colleague is being unfair - the comment about, 'everyone is the same,' was a bit rude. You asked about her welfare and she could have told you.

Am American and am horrified by what's happening, but would not consider asking a British person how they felt about it, unless there was a direct connection. Family in the US?

She is under no obligation to explain herself to anyone, you utter twat.

No, but it's hardly fair to not explain herself and then get huffy and be quite rude when the OP can't read her mind.

Christ! Dramatic much?!?

Yes, it is white privilege and no, it's not personal to you. I found this video hard to watch (as a liberal white woman) but gave me huge insights into how POC are feeling right now and why it's important to listen: www.facebook.com/rachrodgersesq/videos/10157161743191881/

I had an old account completely disabled for suggesting that women who won’t leave their children with babysitters are overprotective but this:

Does she tiptoe round you every time a white woman is murdered?

Is allowed to stand.

This is fucking monstrous.

You did nothing wrong

Tbh every who’re person having to feel bad like this is like expecting all Germans to still be apologising about the war or all Muslims having to apologise for the actions of isis
There needs to be social responsibility within certain groups but not to the point of constant self doubt and over thinking every single thing tbh being quietly aware and Being kind is what matters
I’m black btw in case that’s of any relevance and anyone jumps on my comments I’m not saying white privilege doesn’t exist but the constant labelling and use of ‘white’ is becoming counter productive as it’s making people defensive when we really need them to be understanding

@Forumqueen

If you are a slave and your life, liberty and self has been reduced to a brutalised commodity, it is equally egregious regardless of your or your owner’s skin colour.

But to answer your question, the Ottoman Empire included North Africa.

Who’re -white

I don't think you did anything wrong OP. I, like others, would think it would come across quite patronising to contact every black person I know and ask if they are okay.

One of my relatives happens to be black, and has been posting things telling everyone they are dead to her, family included, if they don't go to one of the protests in our nearby city centre as it means we don't care about her or people like her.

I think what has happened is monstrous and I am appalled that it's allowed to continue. I've signed the petition and I've donated. But I don't feel comfortable going to a city centre protest, so I'm not. I don't think it's fair to say I should be dead to someone I care about because I won't.

And already 2 posters saying George Floyd’s murder wasn’t about his skin colour. Exactly how obvious does racism have to be before you see it?

Heinous crimes are committed day in day out all over the world, in massive numbers. We can't spend each day going over them at work every time.

It sounds like you are culturally appropriating the righteous anger and grief of proud black women, only then to filter it through white women’s tears.

I think you should read “Why I am no longer talking to white people about race”, and spend more time listening and less time whitesplaining.

@strivingtosucceed. Thank you. You are 100% spot on.

Yep glowcat It’s extraordinary

I’m actually horrified that posters are trying to argue it wasn’t racist. No wonder people are rioting.

And already 2 posters saying George Floyd’s murder wasn’t about his skin colour. Exactly how obvious does racism have to be before you see it?

Indeed.

Sorry @MumpsimusMaximus but making that comparison really does highlight your white privilege.

OP I don't think you were being insensitive. Equally, she is allowed to feel down about events like this.

Around one in a thousand black men & boys can expect to die at the hands of police in America. Just read that out loud.