To think if I was a man they wouldn't comment...

[PasserbyEffect]

... and the comment is (perhaps) more "normative" (pointing out I'm not acting lady-like) than truly flattering.

The story: the other day I went shopping for food (family of four), took two large bags, filled them with various goods, including tins and bottles (but also lighter stuff like crisps and pasta). Pretty heavy, but manageable.
I was walking back home (10 minutes away), nearly there, decided to pause to readjust one of the straps which was starting to dig into my hand...

There comes that man walking his dog (about same age as me, and average build, like me), and with a big smile he said something like "[something something, didn't catch that bit] world strongest woman". It didn't sound malicious but it felt bizarre (I'm just doing my bloody shopping, not competing for the Olympics?).

Thinking about it, it's not the first time this happened to me. Always the same story: I'm minding my own business, which does sometimes involve a certain amount of physical strength (e.g. carrying a large bag of laundry to the local launderette, or shifting furniture into a van during a house move), and some random bloke just passing by makes some kind of positive-yet-somewhat-sarcastic(?) comment, like I'm Wonder Woman or Popeye.

YABU: I am a weirdo for doing all this man-like stuff, and should expect perfect strangers to comment on it.
Or, they are being genuinely admirative, nothing sarcastic, and I should be grateful.
Or, this has nothing to do with gender, anyone would comment on anyone carrying something relatively heavy in a public space.

YANBU: they are weirdos, and although they may find "strong women" attractive to some extent, they're also negging/trying to put me in my place.

I don't know if it is necessarily a male thing but some people always feel the need to make what they deem "small talk" which is usually either rude or uneducated.

If I had seen you lugging heavy bags about I might have said that I hoped you didn't have much further to carry them, but that would be the extent of my remarks.

I think that people are just being friendly and you are trying to find a fault

You're over thinking, I reckon it was simply the third of your yabu options - non gender based small talk.

I’ve never been commented on whilst carrying heavy bags/doing anything else strenuous.

What WTFami said...

for yrs I habitually walked a mile home very heavily laden with groceries.
I wonder why I didn't get comments, maybe my resting bitch face. I wouldn't have minded. There's abuse & there's chitchat; I don't take offence at chitchat.

When I walk my dog with my children I normally have my toddler in her trike (recently broke her leg and had a full cast), my 6 month old in a baby carrier on my chest, and my dog on a lead on a waist attachment.

Every single day without fail, normally at least 3 tines per walk I would get comments such as 'wow, you've got your hands full' and various versions of that.

I must admit I do tend to find it quite patronising because for one, I'm quite aware that I have my hands full. Secondly, I haven't taken on any more than I can manage, it's all part of my daily routine. It's something that I don't find comment worthy. Thirdly, it's pretty much always men that comment. It almost feels like they're surprised that a woman is quite capable of going about their daily business without a big strong man to help them.

I do always wonder if people would comment if it was my husband taking them all out alone rather than myself

I don’t think a man would say the same thing to a man, though. Can you imagine it? ‘Look out, it’s the world’s strongest man!’ That has the potential to end badly addressed to a male stranger carrying heavy things. I do think women are expected to welcome the random chit-chat of male strangers. I guess it’s harmless but it is annoying to have to go around giving indulgent smiles to anyone who fancies talking to you when you’re busy doing something else. Women do this too & it’s just as annoying but far less common in my experience.

I think women could say "hands full" or "strongest woman" to each other, though.
Women are less threatening to start chitchat with.

It's sex of the recipient not sex of the speaker that counts.

I wouldn't give it any thought.

Maybe a woman is more likely to get comments than a man would be, but I'd assume it was meant in a kindly way, unless it clearly was aggressive or insulting. Not sure there's much you can do about it. It may be annoying at times, but I don't think the intention is usually to annoy.

People are probably more likely to speak to a random woman than a random man, at any time, because women are generally considered more approachable and friendlier than men.

Yanbu

It doesn't matter that posters would say this to people, the point is that no one says it to men, certainly not other men.

YAnbu. Next time it happens, say “oh, thanks” and hand them the heavy item, let them carry it for you. If they help, then great, if they don’t, they are patronising pillocks and feel free to tell them so.

Nah, anyone who's telling you you're overthinking is talking crap. He wouldn't have said it to a bloke. It's really patronising.

Yanbu.

Likely the same type of men who like to tell women to smile.

How is it making chitchat by telling a woman she’s the world strongest woman for carrying her own groceries?

Why comment to a random stranger about what they’re carrying?

I highly doubt he would tell a man he was the world strongest man if he saw a man doing it.

What is definitely true is the comment above that women are expected to be receptive to small talk or comments from strangers - carients on the

"Smile, it might never happen" (or worse "you'd be pretty if you smiled")

type comment always addressed by older men to young women is the worst and most standard - nobody says it to a man or an older woman, and it is somewhat creepy/ overstepping/ insinuating :(

I think the bags one is less unpleasant and more something a woman might also say to a woman - an example of how strangers interact differently with women they don't know than men they don't know, and nothing you should be grateful for certainly, but neutral on a good/ bad scale unless the way he said it was leery! Akin perhaps to the fact by middle age women are the most likely people to be asked for directions... neither a good thing nor a bad thing, just a reaction to the fact we're seen as less likely to be threatening or feel threatened...

Any comment at all can be made unpleasant if said in a creepy/ leery way of course!

I'd find it encouraging, maybe even flattering. I'd say something similar to any person regardless of sex in such a situation!

As an aside at the beginning of lockdown my mum gave me her wheeled shopping trolley. We have christened it Marigold. I would thoroughly recommend one

YABU and quite frankly ridiculous. It’s called small talk.

Since when is carrying shopping bags "man-like stuff"?
Commenting out loud on what strangers are doing is alien to me, so he is BU, though.

It’s small talk

Was it anything to do with the size of the massive chip on your shoulder?

You really are over thinking ......

Was it anything to do with the size of the massive chip on your shoulder? , have to admit you sound hard work.

In my job I'm frequently moving freakishly large amounts of drinks from one area of a store to another. I'm not dressed in uniform and rarely use a staff cage/trolley so I look like a shopper. At least twice a day someone will comment "thirsty love?" "Save some for the others" or if it's the energy drink "crikey, you'll be going for days/have a heart attack" I just take it for what it is, small talk.

Don't always look for fault, or offence. The person in question probably just meant it as a compliment. And I've seen it said to men plenty of times