To think if I was a man they wouldn't comment...

[PasserbyEffect]

... and the comment is (perhaps) more "normative" (pointing out I'm not acting lady-like) than truly flattering.

The story: the other day I went shopping for food (family of four), took two large bags, filled them with various goods, including tins and bottles (but also lighter stuff like crisps and pasta). Pretty heavy, but manageable.
I was walking back home (10 minutes away), nearly there, decided to pause to readjust one of the straps which was starting to dig into my hand...

There comes that man walking his dog (about same age as me, and average build, like me), and with a big smile he said something like "[something something, didn't catch that bit] world strongest woman". It didn't sound malicious but it felt bizarre (I'm just doing my bloody shopping, not competing for the Olympics?).

Thinking about it, it's not the first time this happened to me. Always the same story: I'm minding my own business, which does sometimes involve a certain amount of physical strength (e.g. carrying a large bag of laundry to the local launderette, or shifting furniture into a van during a house move), and some random bloke just passing by makes some kind of positive-yet-somewhat-sarcastic(?) comment, like I'm Wonder Woman or Popeye.

YABU: I am a weirdo for doing all this man-like stuff, and should expect perfect strangers to comment on it.
Or, they are being genuinely admirative, nothing sarcastic, and I should be grateful.
Or, this has nothing to do with gender, anyone would comment on anyone carrying something relatively heavy in a public space.

YANBU: they are weirdos, and although they may find "strong women" attractive to some extent, they're also negging/trying to put me in my place.

YANBU.

They absolutely wouldn't have said it to a man.

What is definitely true is the comment above that women are expected to be receptive to small talk or comments from strangers

This is so true.

I get this semi-regularly, some random man who feels the need to interfere in my day by passing a comment, and it's always a man making the comment.

I've been out and walked the dog this morning, passed a few workmen digging up the road and one of them shouted "you should be wearing shorts in this weather"... funny enough none of them shouted the same to the man who was walking his dog ahead of me, who also wasn't wearing shorts.

If it's a genuine attempt by them to make "small talk" (it's not), then it's small talk I can do without.

He was being friendly. Lighten up

over thinking this, i'd ususally ignore it unless it was offensive, then i'd respond but not with 'did you mean to be so rude ?' shite because if someone said that to me i'd most likely reply 'yes i did ' and i think that would be a standard response.

I was outside weeding the other day, when a man selling a service pulled up outside my house and said to me, "good to see a woman doing a bit of work for once".
I'm sure he meant it as a joke but it was a shit one, funnily enough, I did not not sign up to his service.

I'm a powerlifter so I can move some pretty big weights and always get similar comments from both men and women - but definitely mostly men.

In my head, this is my secret superpower that makes grocery delivery drivers and the cashiers at Scewfix look at me like I'm Hulk. I think it's funny but if you don't then you don't and no one should expect you to accept it as small talk if it makes you feel uncomfortable or you just don't like it. A find that a blank stare often works really well.

I was about to agree with other posters that you were overreacting to friendly chit chat, but actually, I think this:

What is definitely true is the comment above that women are expected to be receptive to small talk or comments from strangers

is a very good point.

cheese 'i'm working and you can fuck off and get a job !'

He was just being nice, OP. You're navel-gazing a bit here.

Hm, I think you could be right.

I am tall for a woman. Random people often tell me how tall I am. I'm not that tall for a man so yes, it IS because I'm a woman but I'm not sure it's really sexism. It's just that people make small talk and it does no harm really. There's no gender split on that remark.

But I agree that it's pretty much always random men on the street who pass comment on your body/physicality. I am also a fair bit stronger than the average woman and teach moving and handling so I can tell you now that women DO remark on how strong other women are in context*, but not IME to strangers in the street!

*In that context it's usually as part of a deflection during training as, much like in martial arts teaching, you have to try to persuade someone that body mechanics really are much more important than physical strength while being visibly much stronger than them - it's a challenge!

come to think of it badbears blank stare response is perfect.that will be my go to now on

I made a random comment to someone the other day but I thought I knew them! There was a man in the park riding a Dutch-style bike with one of those baskets in the front (traditionally looking like a 'female's bike' here in the UK - yes I know I know...).

As I jogged past him I grinned and said "nice basket" thinking it was a friend I know through the local pub and who I always have a bantering style relationship with. It was only when the man looked a bit hurt and disturbed that I realised it wasn't him! I was mortified but it was too late to say anything as he'd already ridden past. So this poor guy is now thinking some random female stranger took the piss out of him and his basket in the park

What is definitely true is the comment above that women are expected to be receptive to small talk or comments from strangers

How do you know what comments and how many comments a man on their own receive?

OMG - do people not have a sense of humour any more. I agree with a pp - you sound like hard work!

@recycledteenager24 and if that doesn't work, just say that you can use your strength to hammer throw them as far away from you as possible... (half joking!)

@Twigletfairy

When I walk my dog with my children I normally have my toddler in her trike (recently broke her leg and had a full cast), my 6 month old in a baby carrier on my chest, and my dog on a lead on a waist attachment.

Every single day without fail, normally at least 3 tines per walk I would get comments such as 'wow, you've got your hands full' and various versions of that.

I must admit I do tend to find it quite patronising because for one, I'm quite aware that I have my hands full. Secondly, I haven't taken on any more than I can manage, it's all part of my daily routine. It's something that I don't find comment worthy. Thirdly, it's pretty much always men that comment. It almost feels like they're surprised that a woman is quite capable of going about their daily business without a big strong man to help them.

I do always wonder if people would comment if it was my husband taking them all out alone rather than myself

Oh dear. I recently (last week) said just that to a woman with young children and a dog. I wasn’t patronising her or suggesting she was struggling; I was just acknowledging she had a slightly greater challenge than most people out walking their dogs, showing a bit of solidarity having been in that situation myself (5 DC), and being friendly, as most are on our country path when they pass others.

Think I’ll just keep shut my mouth from now on

If you're not in the mood to receive unwelcome comments then yanbu to feel irritated. However some people like that sort of inane chit chat.
I agree that men are far less likely to direct comments like that towards other men and as soon as you think of it in those terms it does potentially feel a bit off or sleazy.

Is ‘normative’ new to anyone else?

FreetodowhatIwant - that made me laugh!

I don’t think they’d say it to a man but it wouldn’t be the hill I’d choose to die on.

I do always wonder if people would comment if it was my husband taking them all out alone rather than myself

Even more so - he'd be admired and revered for taking his own children out.

I have heard similar said to a man, in DPs previous job which included lifting the was lots of comments especially from women. There was a comedy sketch either Peter Kay or lee Evans about the strength of women before cars and their ability to carry huge shopping. It’s similar to cleaning your car you know someone is going to joke about cleaning theirs. We are going to end up not speaking to strangers.

I'm petite figure and all my life I had comments from men offering to help with various physical tasks, even more so as I got older.

It always makes me laugh because I've always been a very independent self-sufficient person and am much stronger than I look. I once moved from a flat to another and moved all the furniture totally on my own!

I don't mind at all though. I do think it's nice that some men are well mannered and intended. I usually say thank you and that I can manage fine with a big smile. Sometimes they insist, so I oblige. If it makes them feel good and puts them in a good mood, then it can only be positive!

He was a man on his own walking past a woman on her own. Chances are he wasn't thinking about it at all, because I don't think men see the world the same way women do, but maybe he was trying to appear nonthreatening by saying something and smiling?

He wasn't attempting to engage you in conversation and what he said didn't require a response. I think the actual comment was irrelevant (to him) Smile and a nod might have been better, or just something like "nice day"?

I've had a comment whilst walking the dog ( labrador) " You should have a little dog , more feminine " , I gave him a death stare.

You are overthinking things. He was just trying to make a friendly comment.