That he highlighted I was not invited.

[ChewaBewaNewaCewa]

I'm probably being aibu,
Me and boyfriend dont live together but went on a walk today as we live nearby.
He said he was going to a bbq next week at an old friend's house. I told him that's great and just asked about the friend because I never heard off him.
Then boyfriend just goes 'Yeah it will be fun. You're not invited by the way'.

I didnt even think I was invited nor dis I make any suggestions that I was inviting myself. I just laughed and said 'okay' but I don't think he had to be so straightforward like that.

I understand if i was like "so when is it, i"ll see if i can make it" but all i asked about was how he knew the guy because i never heard his name.

Probably really silly thing for me to be aibu about.

[OhTheRoses]

Lockdown hasn't prevailed for four months. It's prevailed since 23rd March. 10 weeks. 16 weeks in 4 months. Why didn't you see him for 6 weeks before lockdown.

[ChewaBewaNewaCewa]

@OhTheRoses or 3 months whatever it's been. Time feels forever. Why are you being so nitpicky?

[midsomermurderess]

Don't do what Vodka suggests. I think she is 13.

[ChewaBewaNewaCewa]

He squeezed my hips, wow!! Surely no different to people working and coming home and giving their partner a kiss

[timetest]

It’s fine to have separate friends and activities but the way he said sounds a bit mean kids in the playground.

[NeutrinoWrangler]

Yeah, that would probably annoy me. I'd most likely have answered right back, "Well, I didn't say I was, did I? And get your hands off my hips if you're going to speak to me that way, thankyouverymuch." ...But then I'm a bit grumpy and easily irritated by things like that, and it would be best for all involved if we quickly learned these things about one another. (I, that he can be blunt and rather rude; he, that I don't appreciate bluntness or rudeness and will swipe back if riled.)

He may not have meant any offense, but there's no reason he couldn't have been a bit more suave and considerate of your feelings.

[NeutrinoWrangler]

Meh, strikethrough fail.

[Devlesko]

Short and to the point, I like this. Wouldn't bother me at all.

[Carrotgirl87]

@Pebblexox oh yes I'm not suggesting that we don't all have people who crop up as old friends not usually mentioned. More that said old friend after a long time of no contact would make a point of saying the partner isn't welcome. That's the weird part to me, seems spectacularly bad manners.

[Carrotgirl87]

@burnoutbabe said it better than I did

[Vanhi]

I can't see why a bbq invite would not normally include partners? Unless totally lads only?

Because any form of social get together is severely limited, what with there being a global pandemic.

[rosecreakybex]

What a weird thing to say! I can understand if he said "it's just lads by the way" (assuming you're female - possibly incorrectly).

Or if he said "I'm sorry you're not invited but they need to keep numbers below 6" or something. Is he always so blunt?

[rosecreakybex]

Is it possible this friend is in to stuff he knows youd disapprove of? Hence he's never mentioned him

[sonjadog]

It sounds like something I or my boyfriend at that time would have said when we were about your age. Meant well and to avoid disappointment or awkwardness later, but too blunt and insensitively put. I can understand that you are a bit taken aback, but I would try not to read anything more into it.

[Aridane]

I can't see why a bbq invite would not normally include partners? Unless totally lads only?

Because we’re in pandemic and only 6 people from different households can meet together???

[overnightangel]

Blimey @Vodkacranberryplease didn’t take you long to go from 0 to Looneytunes.
Bit overinvesty/projecty

[rosecreakybex]

@vodkacranberryplease - are you okay hun?

[rosegoldwatcher]

Many men are pragmatic by nature. I think that yours is.

[CherryPavlova]

He’s a boyfriend not a husband. I’d think he was good to be clear. It was friend inviting him.
The relationship doesn’t sound very developed, so I cannot see an issue.

[YakkityYakYakYak]

I don’t think it would bother me overly but I can be fairly blunt too. You must know him well enough after a year to know whether it’s typical of him to be this direct, or whether he was being mean. What is your judgement of how he intended the comment to be taken?

[TeamLannister]

I think he was deliberately rude. Does he slyly put you down, saying things that would sound a bit petty and silly if you challenged them, but make you feel small all the same??

[TheLittleToothMouse]

If he posted loads of social media stuff/pics about the bbq and kept going on about how great it was to you, then that would indicate he’s not very sensitive to your feelings.

Also I would be a bit curious if this “old friend” is a lad or an ex, if he didn’t say who it was.

I hope you manage to catch up with your friends next week.

[Notthetoothfairy]

He sound around 12. Are you sure you want to be with him?

[MsTSwift]

He’s not a keeper.

[therona]

I'd have asked why he said that at the time, but best to leave it now. Not a big deal if he's otherwise a good guy.