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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour has painted our and I mean our fence

303 replies

Endoftether2000 · 31/05/2020 19:04

Would I be unreasonable to go out and paint my fence. Scenario approx a year ago husband decided to replace all fences on both sides the original posts were wooden and had broken causing our garden to have props holding the right fence up. He went round to the neighbour who was relatively new and advised that he was replacing the fence with concrete gravel boards and posts. She advised that her side of the fence was OK to which my husband responded that if he removed the props that were straddling our garden the fence would fall down and was surprised she didn't know as the old neighbour was aware and advised my husband he would make the new buyer aware (as if he was going to stay he would have gone half's with us) so he agreed times and dates when the fence would be removed to no inconvenience to her or her garden. Fence was removed she then asked if she could have the fence for her wood burner so husband and people that were helping took the old fence round. She then knocked at our door and said that she had too much wood now and could he dispose of the excess which he did. She then paints said fence (we stained our side grey) she painted hers with dark brown stain which has ingressed but not too badly but painted the top of the fence brown when I had stained it grey which can only be seen from the bedroom so I could live with that. Then she hammers things to it only one screw yes screw not nail can be seen so can live with that. We are on the front garden today and notice behind the overgrown bushes which is our next project to tackle she has dark brown stained the section of wood that is the size of a tall gate that connects from our house to her garage and the small fence that is our border in dark brown stain on both sides the small fence being on our land. The section of wood and the fence are on our land so is this trespassing? I am tempted to go out and paint over it even if due to the colour I would have to use garden paint? Opinions appreciated. By the way I hate dark brown stain! Smile

OP posts:
Woods52 · 31/05/2020 21:11

I actually meant stress on your part (because you seem so upset). If the bushes can cover it, just leave it.
If it still looks shit and it really, really bothers you, just paint over it in yr colour (maybe need a paint if she’s used a stain?). But just maybe not yet. Leave it for a while til we are all a bit less stressed.
You don’t have to negotiate this with her. If she didn’t talk to you about all this it sounds like she may be hard to reason with.
Just avoid making this any more stressful for yourself. Good luck x

TimeWastingButFun · 31/05/2020 21:17

I don't think you can reasonably argue with someone painting their side. Coming into your garden to paint your side, if I read it correctly, is very cheeky and I wouldn't have liked that at all.

Comefromaway · 31/05/2020 21:18

Well I like grey, especially some of the French grey type shades that are out at the moment.

I’ve just ordered a lovely new grey Front door.

PepeSkunk · 31/05/2020 21:19

I would have been rather unhappy if I were @Windyatthebeach's neighbours as grey fences are monstrous and are the colour Hyacinth Bucket would choose if she was pointing a fence in 2014.

matchboxtwentyunwell · 31/05/2020 21:20

I want Windy to come back and explain her pettiness! Hmm

Lemonlady22 · 31/05/2020 21:21

Dont let these things go....once theses CFs start with seemingly small things they escalate...they think they can't do just what they like....we have a 'Duke and Duchess' next door who think they can do just as they like but expect everyone else to pander to their wants and needs....feels like you have to make an appt with them to do anything in your own home as it might not suit them...ie grass cutting, ...and dont get me started on the parking on a public road!

Comefromaway · 31/05/2020 21:21

But I wouldn’t paint my neighbours side unless they agreed.

Lemonlady22 · 31/05/2020 21:23

'CAN do just what they like'

LycraLovingLass · 31/05/2020 21:31

How did she get to the fence if its behind over grown bushes?

Endoftether2000 · 31/05/2020 21:32

Glitterbiscuits I am so laughing colour is a personal taste but I much prefer the light slate cheery blue grey to the dark dog poop brown

OP posts:
PanamaPattie · 31/05/2020 21:32

I agree with @Windyatthebeach. It's not petty. It's criminal damage.

1Morewineplease · 31/05/2020 21:34

Just paint the side of the fence that you see. If it’s your fence then tell the neighbour that you’re painting your side.
If the fence belongs to your neighbour then discuss the issue with them.
If your neighbour paints your fence a different colour to yours, at least they’re helping to preserve it.
I’m intrigued that your husband decided to replace the fence on both sides... do both fences belong to you? That’s quite rare.

Endoftether2000 · 31/05/2020 21:35

Thank you Woods52 x

OP posts:
bonsaidragon · 31/05/2020 21:39

@Windyatthebeach

We were in the same position op. Our fence. We painted our side grey. Ndn painted her side brown. We had a solicitor instruct her not to touch our property.. She legally had to allow us onto her property to maintain the fence. I went round and painted it grey.
Do you also use a sledgehammer to crack a nut?
JacobReesMogadishu · 31/05/2020 21:40

We had a solicitor instruct her not to touch our property

So there must be quite a back story?

Struggling to make head or tail of it all. Is the fence hidden behind overgrown bushes? If so does it matter? How long has it taken you to notice?

Endoftether2000 · 31/05/2020 21:40

Lycralovinglass on the diagram where the arrow is and the words four foot fence is where the neighbours driveway is so it runs past the overgrown bushes does this make sense

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 31/05/2020 21:45

@Viviennemary

What a fuss about nothing.
That’s ok then, I’ll be round at yours to paint your fence or house if you don’t have a fence the colour of my choosing. I was thinking yellow and purple.
KingaRoo · 31/05/2020 21:47

PLEASE use punctuation. It's really frustrating to try to follow what you're saying without it!

Endoftether2000 · 31/05/2020 21:49

JacobReesMogadishu the houses are approx ten years old so landscaped by builders at the front so we have now got round to sorting out the front garden and these unruly bushes as if we are not careful they will impinge on her driveway which when she parks on her drive we don't want to cause them any issues with brushing against paint work so it is the next part of the garden to review initially we would have probably taken a couple of them out which is why we noticed but it will have only been in the last month as my husband had been on the roof that side to clear a blocked gutter

OP posts:
Endoftether2000 · 31/05/2020 21:52

Sorry Kingaroo lol u wouldn't belive I got A's in English at both levels I am too used to grammar and spell check these days😆

OP posts:
Endoftether2000 · 31/05/2020 22:03

1morewineplease depending on how I think of our house is depending on which side I have put neighbours. So too be clear. Looking from front garden house face on. Neighbour to left Posts his side fence panels best side were our side. Neighbour to right posts our side fence panels best side her side. Husband did both fences as he did all three sides at same time had people into help. Husband because of what he wanted to do in garden wanted to just get in done. He has known neighbour left side for ever and we are middle aged now and our neighbour had more important things in his life to deal with and was going through a sh#t time so he said he would just get it done because he is a kind man and wanted to help him out.

OP posts:
KingaRoo · 31/05/2020 22:05

Argh, seriously, that just makes my head ache to read. Even with spellcheck and grammar check they don't automatically add punctuation for you, you have to add your own commas and full stops!!

Sorry to derail thread and hope I'm not upsetting you. But for the future it will be much easier for people to help you out if they can understand what you are writing.

KingaRoo · 31/05/2020 22:07

That was in reference to your 21.49 post that had not a comma or full stop in sight. Looks like things are improving Grin

Crickets · 31/05/2020 22:07

JacobReesMogadishu the houses are approx ten years old so landscaped by builders at the front so we have now got round to sorting out the front garden and these unruly bushes as if we are not careful they will impinge on her driveway which when she parks on her drive we don't want to cause them any issues with brushing against paint work so it is the next part of the garden to review initially we would have probably taken a couple of them out which is why we noticed but it will have only been in the last month as my husband had been on the roof that side to clear a blocked gutter

Fucking hell.
Please.
Use.
Punctuation.
.................

I would speak to your neighbour and ask her not to paint your fences.

Leflic · 31/05/2020 22:11

Op your neighbour thinks you probably don’t care about it, given the over grown bushes and that you have painted the internal fences.

Windy That's ridiculous.
What in earth did you benefit from painting her side the same as yours?