to lose my rag with an 8 week old yearold..

[bumbly]

at end of my tether and am wondering if others like me have sometimes raised their voice to their LO?

i am just fed up of constant crying and having to hold LO

and to add to matters today LO didnt even want to be held and was simply crying so we are back to snack feeding to try to calm him

please tell me others get mad and cant help themselves getting mad with a newborn!

Bumbly, you sound pretty low. Have you done the Edinburgh Test?

bumbly what was your outdoors lifestyle ? Try not to be put off things like NCT by one small sample. Is there something you could adapt to incorporate your lo or use as an opportunity to get a break ? Perhaps something like this operates near you. You have the distraction of pushing the pram to "hide behind" if needs be but may enjoy the company ? If you can find soemthign to do you'll realise that your time isn't all about ds.

Bumbly, shame you didn't get on with the NCT group!
Is there anyhting like surestart in your area, or a childcentre of some kind...they often give short courses in things like Babymessage, which is a wonderful activity especially with an unsettled Baby!
I think it's in any case best to try loads of different groups out, and see what you like the best.
Also, if this is at all possible, maybe you could have a regular set time just for yourself...where you could go for a long walk or bike ride, or whatever it is you enjoy...it will give you somehting of yourself back...if that makes sense...!
I have not read any previous posts from you, I think, well, I can't remember if I had...but by what I have taken away from reading others posts, you are having a difficult time right now...not finding it easy being a mum, etc...!
Maybe you could contact a Postnatal supporter (from the NCT), they will know what there is in your area, and just be able to lend an open ear and a shoulder to cry on.

Motherhood can feel so isolating in our society, as sometimes it seems like your whole world seems to go upside down...freinds you used to be close with, but that don't have Kids sometimes turn away, and sometimes it doesn't feel right that all new friendships seems to be based on the one thing in common, which tends to be motherhood...and I think that is where a lot of women getting some kind of identity crisis...

Whilst I think, that indeed having some time to yourself, I somehow feel that maybe you are having troubles bonding with your Baby ( I experienced this with my 3. child, and him being an unsettled Baby did not help matters) so, trying to find activities together that you both enjoy will help with that....(Babymassage is one of the great ones for bonding, and there are so many babygroups now, Babyyoga, etc...so, maybe something like that will help you both)

Alternatively Pushy (as in pushchair not competitive!) Mothers exercise

I will probably need a hard hat for saying this but some infants do not want to be constantly held. They also get overtired by constant handling. I had the same experience which resulted in me taking dd to dh in the middle of the night saying' take it, I can't do anything with it' when she was 5 wks old. I then started putting dd into routines and she got put into her cot at set times for regular naps (crying or not) and I have never looked back. For your own sanity I would suggest putting her somewhere safe and out of earshot when she is like this, you may be surprised and she may well sleep instead of screaming.

Tori I think you are right. We had a crap time with lots of crying until we got into a (the?) routine. Saved us from going insane. DS still cried at times but much much less than before.

Bumbly, I went 'arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' in the loudest possible bloody voice I could several times. I have never had the urge to shake dd (8 months). But arghing sure made me feel better. I have also left the room.

Try doing it in another room in a cushion.

It does pass and my DD is the happiest little monkey you would ever see. We took her to a family celebration yesterday and nobody could believe she didnt' cry once at anything. She even screws her fists up and wipes her eyes when she is tired instead of crying. She does cry occasionally but normally when she is bored.

They should have seen her at 8 weeks. It certainly done my head in.

bumbly - dont know where u are but what bout this monkey magic from 12weeks old. link of their venues. imo, fabby
"Look at monkey music www.monkeymusic.co.uk/venues.php"
try various baby groups - some you will like some u wont but it gets u out the house, talking to adults. give it a go
everyone is rooting for you - i am

Yes meglet I used the GF routine from 6wks and it worked fantastic!!

Hi Bumbly
I'm really glad you posted again and I hope you had a better weekend. I managed to completely put my foot in it when I replied to your original message and I just wanted to say that I wasn't judging you in any way. My first baby cried for 18 months and although I've seen photographic evidence to prove that he WAS happy from time to time, I have no recollection of it at all. The exhaustion and helplessness is all-consuming but please don't be too proud to accept help. As you've seen from all the replies, it's completely normal for new babies to cry - sometimes A LOT. As a new mother, we have certain expectations of what motherhood is going to be like. It doesn't usually involve having a baby who cries and seems impossible to comfort. But some babies are just like that. It doesn't make it easier to know that and nobody can give you a magic answer to make it stop. But there are ways of dealing with it, some that many will find acceptable and some that a few will not!

I remember feeling as you do and thinking that the best thing I could do was let someone else look after the baby for a while. When your little one is grumpy this makes perfect sense. Does your baby enjoy having a bath? Or being sung to? Or being read to? I'm not saying this as someone who feels superior in anyway, just as a mum of 4 who has found ways of making life easier, but I think it's very important at this stage that you snatch some moments of calm with your baby and enjoy some time together, even if it's only for 10 minutes at a sretch. Don't be like me and look back in 20 years time and have no happy memories.

I'm not very familiar with mumsnet yet but isn't there some kind of meet-a-mum facility where you can find younger people like yourself in your own area? They can't all be old fogeys like me!

Hope this is soon all a distant memory for you. xx

Hi Bumbly. I hope you are feeling better soon honey. I have got to repeat to you this though, get yourself to a doctor as soon as you can. I think you need some help. You sound like a lovely mother at the end of your tether, its not your fault honey but i really do think you have PND, not because you shouted at your baby, i bet the majority of us have done that at some point, but the fact you feel you are not worthy of looking after him. It smacks of PND and the positive thing is that there is help out there that can really make a difference to you and your family. You are slave to your hormones and a difficult baby at the moment. PLEASE go to the doctors, you deserve to be enjoying your son and he needs his mummy. This is not your fault, you are not a bad mother. Use your DP/DH as much as you can, thats what he is there for, he wont mind.

You can and you will get through this, you will love your baby and he will adore you. He wont remember any of this, and hopefully, neither will you.

I sympathise re the NCT, wouldnt be my thing, an acquaintance of mine tried to persuade me down the NCT route, i Knew it wouldnt be my thing when she said, oh, i only go to be nosey in other peoples houses and see what home improvements they have, i thought, hmmm, not my type of thing.

Im fascinated about the outdoors lifestyle though, do tell

Bumbly

DS is 8 wk old now, has spells of crying that drives anyone nuts; I shouted and felt awfull for it, then left the room; had to go for a job interview 2 days ago and DH had to stay at home with DS. When I got home DH asked me how i did this day in day out and confessed that he had screamed at DS. We are only human!
I enrolled in baby massage, yoga for babies (u do the yoga but baby is incorporated into routine), aqua classes for baby etc; it knackers him out and gives structure to your week.
NCT not for me either.

if you can when DH/DP is at home take yourself off for 1 hours or so, it will do you the world of good. How much sleep are you getting? x