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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Mil is a cheeky cow?

107 replies

KangarooAtTheZoo · 31/05/2020 13:52

My parents live an hour and 20 minutes away by car. My Mil lives an hour and 30 minutes away in the other direction. My Mil has never made an effort with my parents and completely ignored them at my wedding (only 15 guests at my wedding) and has sent them passive aggressive text messages in the past. She has never been interested in my dc much, but is always asking how often my parents are visiting and makes passive aggressive comments about it. She has tried to invite herself on a day she knows my parents are visiting and isn't interested in visiting another day.
Both me and my husband can't drive due to different reasons but I am hoping to learn soon.
My Mil is on the government vulnerable list due to her medication. My parents are not on the list and are in their early 50s.

Mil has said that when the lockdown is eased that my parents should drive to my house and then pick us all up and then drive to her house so she can see my dc in the garden. My dc is 2 years old and would not understand the distancing rules. My parents have not seen my dc for 3 months and don't want to spend almost 6 hours driving in one day and to mostly see my dc in the back seat of a car.
AIBU to think my Mil is being a cheeky cow?

OP posts:
Original poster
KangarooAtTheZoo · 31/05/2020 14:24

Helendee No she doesn't seem to bothered about seeing him on Skype.

NeuroAtypical she did not ask in a polite they would be doing me a favour way. Almost like she is doing my parents a favour by allowing them in her presence

Oldraver she says she is shielding so can't leave her home. Even though she goes for long walks and to her mums house (who isn't following the guidelines)

HollowTalk he is just used to her demands

OP posts:
Cornishclio · 31/05/2020 14:26

Yes your MIL is being very cheeky and I suggest you just say no you won't ask your parents to do that. Why would they if she ignored them at your wedding and sent passive aggressive texts. If she wants to see your DC and you can't drive then she has to come to you on a day when your parents are not visiting. It is not a good idea to all get in cars together immediately anyway as strong chance of virus transmitting if any of you have it.

Helendee · 31/05/2020 14:28

@ArnoJambonsBike

I like to provide some positivity for MILs amongst the endless sea of nastiness towards them.
I wouldn’t let it bother you.

girlywhirly · 31/05/2020 14:30

Even if lockdown is eased, social distancing is not, so you simply say that to MIL and add that you will not be coming or your parents giving lifts.

bonsaidragon · 31/05/2020 14:31

Can your MIL drive?

LillianBland · 31/05/2020 14:31

I like to provide some positivity for MILs amongst the endless sea of nastiness towards them.

So you make up stuff? Confused

itsasmallworldafterall · 31/05/2020 14:35

Do you parents have a car big enough for 4 adults and a car seat?

Original poster
KangarooAtTheZoo · 31/05/2020 14:36

bonsaidragon yeah mil can drive and has a car

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 31/05/2020 14:36

I don’t see how it is 6 hours driving (less than 4) but she is still BU even if she lived closer.

Queenoftheashes · 31/05/2020 14:38

Just be like haha yes very amusing MIL. As if anyone is rude enough to suggest such nonsense.

Tolleshunt · 31/05/2020 14:38

Just say no. Stop telling her about when your parents visit. Disengage.

Fudgewhizz · 31/05/2020 14:38

@MiddleClassProblem 3hrs in each direction for OP's parents.

OP YANBU. Tell them no.

Fudgewhizz · 31/05/2020 14:39

Sorry, tell HER no!

TenShortStories · 31/05/2020 14:39

She's not dreadful to be desperately trying to think of ways she can see her grandchild asap. The expectation that your parents must be part of making that happen for her needs to be nipped in the bud though - very cheeky!

Original poster
KangarooAtTheZoo · 31/05/2020 14:39

itsasmallworldafterall it's a very tight squeeze and uncomfortable to get a baby seat and 2 adults in the back of my parents car

OP posts:
Helendee · 31/05/2020 14:39

@LillianBland

I make up what?
Elaborate please.

Queenoftheashes · 31/05/2020 14:39

@MiddleClassProblem at 2 hours 50 each way ok fine it’s 5 hours 40 round trip but no it isn’t less than four.

Original poster
KangarooAtTheZoo · 31/05/2020 14:41

MiddleClassProblem 1 hour and 20 minutes to my house to pick us all up. Then 1 hour and 30 minutes to mil's house. Then the same again to return to my house and then my parents return home.

OP posts:
TheSmelliestHouse · 31/05/2020 14:45

To be honest I'd have laughed at her suggestion then said, oh sorry you're serious?
She's nuts. Easy no.
She can drive to you when she feels it's safe. And she can stay in the garden lol.

Spillinteas · 31/05/2020 14:45

Kangaroo who did she ask and what did you say?

sergeilavrov · 31/05/2020 14:48

I’d just not reply. She can reflect on that text hanging in the air. All future communications to be done from your husband’s number, with consultation with you in proportion to the structural integrity of his spine.

DragonTrainedByLucy · 31/05/2020 14:58

Sorry, she cannot leave home because she's shielding? She also cannot have that many people to her home if she's shielding...

Point that out to her and tell her she can visit you, by driving herself, once she decides to stop shielding.

NeuroAtypical · 31/05/2020 14:59

@KangarooAtTheZoo Not surprised by the sound of her. Wouldn't even bother with a response or I'd just say it's not possible.

MiddleClassProblem · 31/05/2020 15:00

Sorry read it as 20 mins to you. My mistake x

TinyPigeon · 31/05/2020 15:03

"lol no"

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