To be this worried about autism with 11 mo? Keeping me up at night

[Okeeffe]

My DS is 11 months old. He can sit up, stand up, crawl and cruise but he can't walk. He can climb up stairs too.

He doesn't wave, clap or point. He doesn't imitate sounds or gestures.

He babbles a bit, says dadada and gagaga but not mama. He will only speak on his own accord and won't repeat words back to us.

He mainly just wants to stand up on things, but when he does play he loves turning the pages on books and walking round and round his music table. Doesn't do much else. He puts literally everything in his mouth! On other toys he might just sit and fiddle with the labels.

He doesn't often headbang, but when occasionally when near mirrors/radiators he leans back and hits his head against them gently

He bites us a lot, and pulls our hair.

He is a very smiley happy boy, laughs a lot, plays peekaboo, follows a point and will chase/be chased.

Loves the bath and paddling pool, splashes around and stands up lots.

Will play in garden and on beach, tries to eat sand/grass but seems happy. When in new places he won't look at me at all, too distracted.

Answers to his name sometimes, but sometimes won't. Generally makes good eye contact but sometimes actively looks away and ignores.

Eats well, feeds himself baby led weaning sort of meals, used to take a spoon from us but now refuses. Will try most things. Sometimes during meals he will randomly start hysterically crying and we don't know why.

Cries when falls over but even when he's barely fallen or has caught himself, hysterics and will need a cuddle and to be picked up to calm down.

Sleeps fairly well, will cry for a few minutes when put down for naps but then will just go to sleep.

Not interested in TV or nursery rhymes. Does like when I rub his belly "round and round the garden" loves being thrown in air/put upside down. Loves being tickled. Will play peekaboo behind curtains, initiated himself and will also giggle when we do it too him.

Not very cuddly, doesn't like to sit still

Health visitor has got me panicked about a few things. Can anyone put my mind at ease

Sounds like a normally developing baby to me!
What were the HVs concerns?

Thanks. She said not pointing, clapping, waving or imitating was a red flag. Also the not always responding to his name and the occasional head banging. Said we'd reassess at his 12mo check but I'm so worried now.

He sounds pretty normal, the only thing is I would have thought he might be pointing/clapping by 11 months but then all babies are different and some will skip doing certain milestones.

What concern did the HV have?

Nothing you have said sounds very unusual to me. I'd watch the no clapping/pointing/waving and ask in 8 weeks or so if no signs.

All sounds normal to me! I have a DD with autism and to be honest it wasn't really 'obvious' until she was two and not talking and just very much in her own world and not interested at all in other people.

At 11 months I wouldn’t worry but you’d expect to see those things by about 16 months.

The not imitating gestures thing is the only thing that strikes me as slightly unusual, the rest sounds totally within the realms of normal and just a personality thing (the being very sensitive to falling over, etc.)

Sounds very normal to me. I think mine was very similar to that age. He went through a massive headbanging stage at about that age, whenever he was frustrated. He also didn’t learn to clap for ages!

He’s now 20 months, you can’t shut him up and has a ridiculous vocbulary, he’s obsessed with all things sea life, and is incredibly sociable. Still has episodes of selectively not answering his name though!

The one thing I noted with my youngest, he would sensory seek and find stuff to tap his head against. That's when I knew as he just regressed from then on, but it was a mostly an every day thing, he also had beautiful eye contact which put the delay on diagnosis.

Yes there are a few flags in what you're saying, however he's too young yet.

Its been flagged, it'll be kept an eye on as he develops. Try not to stress about it. A lot of kids grow out of 'traits' by 7 apparently.

I think that you have described a well developed 11 month old to me! My dd is 11 months and has only been rolling over and clapping for a few weeks. She doesn’t crawl forwards but can get around on her bottom or pushes herself backwards. She doesn’t cruise or really stand up against the furniture. Every baby develops differently so try not to worry.

Sounds perfectly normal to me.

Nothing you have said here sounds too alarming. Sounds like a normal baby to me. And I agree wholeheartedly with @KitKat1985

I realised somewhere between 18m-2y that my son played differently and was more occupied with working a toy out than actually playing with it in the intended manner.

And while he doesn't now, he DID used to imitate and wave as a baby. Never pointed though.

Just keep an eye out as time passes but I wouldn't worry for now. Just enjoy him. If he is, you'll accept it and realise it's just a part of who he is. But from what you've written, he sounds perfectly lovely to me!

What He sounds completely normal to me.

I mean this with love OP, please chill out or you won't enjoy your baby and stress yourself out. You sound like a wonderful attentive mother with a happy and well developed baby.

The only experience I have of autism is a friends little boy, who is 4 now but is totally non verbal. Quite violent and he hurts himself and her often. She's rang me many times struggling to cope. I just can't imagine that for my little boy, and selfishly for myself. I suffer from bad anxiety as it is, I worry how we'd cope. Now my health visitor has planted the seed I just can't relax - I feel like I'm constantly analysing him.

He sounds totally normal to me. Your HV is being ridiculous. Babies aren't clones they are individuals

Hi op, I have a two year old and I noticed a few similar red flags when he was a similar age. In our case I've noticed others as he's gotten older, and we are waiting to see a pediatrician. I think it's very early to tell in your case, so just observe over the next few months. You may find he just starts doing these things with time! My health visitor told me many children do show some autistic traits up until age three, doesn't necessarily mean anything. So do try not to worry. If you do still have concerns then see your gp or chat again with your health visitor, mine has been a great support and it's a positive step to get the ball rolling, as it could be a long journey ahead. He's still my lovely son though, diagnosis or not, it won't change how I feel, but will hopefully help him once he's at school.

I think your HV has worried you unnecessarily. 11 months is still tiny and they all develop at different rates. Easier said than done, but try not to worry and see where you are up to at 18 months.

And

My DS is 10 months and does pretty much everything you described. I think it's all normal. I will say that with DD, being my first born, I worried a lot about autism and was anxious a lot (she doesn't have autism). Your baby sounds like he is normally developing, I would try to not worry.

@okeeffe also that doesn't mean the same for your son. Its such a massively broad spectrum, I know autistic children that do very well in mainstream school, they may have difficulties but can have friends and go on to be hard working adults, with a job and family of their own. It can be more severe like your friends child of course, but that doesn't mean the same for you, if your son does have autism at all. Still very early days, just try to enjoy your little one.

He sounds like a typical baby boy of 11 months. Try not to worry. You said yourself, he is a happy little boy. Don’t spend this precious time worrying, which I know is easier said than done. So many children (& adults) are on the autistic spectrum, but lead happy & fulfilling lives.

Some lovely responses. Thank you. I will try and put it to the back of my mind.

Can I ask, should I be trying to teach him how to wave, point, clap? Or is it the fact he isn't learning purely by imitating me that's the problem?

Gosh, my DS2 has ASD, but most of what you’ve described is within tolerances for normal development. I’m not saying everything will be fine, because it’s impossible to know, but it’s too early for anything you’ve said to be a major concern yet. If he sees something interesting will he ever glance at you, then back at the interesting thing?

Okeefe, you could try copying something he does instead. If he blows a raspberry, blow one back. If he bashes sone blocks, do it too. Just to see if you can join him in ‘his world.’