To be this worried about autism with 11 mo? Keeping me up at night

[Okeeffe]

My DS is 11 months old. He can sit up, stand up, crawl and cruise but he can't walk. He can climb up stairs too.

He doesn't wave, clap or point. He doesn't imitate sounds or gestures.

He babbles a bit, says dadada and gagaga but not mama. He will only speak on his own accord and won't repeat words back to us.

He mainly just wants to stand up on things, but when he does play he loves turning the pages on books and walking round and round his music table. Doesn't do much else. He puts literally everything in his mouth! On other toys he might just sit and fiddle with the labels.

He doesn't often headbang, but when occasionally when near mirrors/radiators he leans back and hits his head against them gently

He bites us a lot, and pulls our hair.

He is a very smiley happy boy, laughs a lot, plays peekaboo, follows a point and will chase/be chased.

Loves the bath and paddling pool, splashes around and stands up lots.

Will play in garden and on beach, tries to eat sand/grass but seems happy. When in new places he won't look at me at all, too distracted.

Answers to his name sometimes, but sometimes won't. Generally makes good eye contact but sometimes actively looks away and ignores.

Eats well, feeds himself baby led weaning sort of meals, used to take a spoon from us but now refuses. Will try most things. Sometimes during meals he will randomly start hysterically crying and we don't know why.

Cries when falls over but even when he's barely fallen or has caught himself, hysterics and will need a cuddle and to be picked up to calm down.

Sleeps fairly well, will cry for a few minutes when put down for naps but then will just go to sleep.

Not interested in TV or nursery rhymes. Does like when I rub his belly "round and round the garden" loves being thrown in air/put upside down. Loves being tickled. Will play peekaboo behind curtains, initiated himself and will also giggle when we do it too him.

Not very cuddly, doesn't like to sit still

Health visitor has got me panicked about a few things. Can anyone put my mind at ease

Thank goodness I had my son 24 years ago . He now in hindsight displayed so many signs of autism ..poor social skills .repetitive behaviour,slow speech ,hating too much social interaction...fast forward 24 years and he is an amazing,intelligent,sociable human being ..try and stop worrying 💐

He sounds perfectly fine to me, HVs expect too much some children do not walk until 16 months. Don't let them worry you. X

@Neednewwellies we don't have stacking cups but those soft blocks. He won't stack them but if I build a tower he knocks it down and then I rebuild. He will only do this 2 or 3 times then he's off to go and stand up again.

Yeah he definitely wants everything in his mouth. His toys and also anything he can get his hands on like our phones or remotes.

He will pull the curtain in front of his face and then pull it back grinning which I take as him playing peekaboo, I will watch some videos and compare.

He passed the newborn hearing test fine but no checks since. He does turn to noises though, loves the hoover and washing machine and goes straight to them when they're on. He's just selective about when he answers to his name.

He went through a stage a few weeks ago where every single time I left the room he cried, he's already stopped doing that but he always follows. Our lounge is baby proof so if I ever pop to the loo I push the door closed (the latch is broke so it doesn't latch) and he's figured out how to pull the door open and get into the hallway and he comes flying down giggling after me.

I'm with him 24/7 really, but he gets excited when his dads home from work and crawls to him.

It's really hard to answer your questions about other people with any certainty, he hasn't seen another person for 3 months due to lockdown. He used to be fine being passed about though, would smile and let other people feed him just fine.

Sounds normal and happy to me.

He sounds like a lovely, happy wee boy. Our DS started pointing early enough but took aaages to wave or clap. Agree with pps about trying to get into ‘his world’ and show him how to imitate by imitating him. My DS never bothered with stacking soft blocks either but got into stacking cups - cheap plastic ones on amazon that he loves, and one of our best toddler buys.

LaurieMarlow are you normally this aggressive from the way you talk? confused. Sit down.

Your comment was not only bollocks, but also tailor made to ramp up the OP’s concern unnecessarily. What were you hoping to achieve by that?

There’s absolutely nothing concerning about not pointing at 11 months, which I’m sure you know.

And ‘sit down’?!?!?

Where did you get that? Are you used to dealing with dogs or something?

I'm Doing lots of pointing at everything out on our walk and I notice he's doing the gesture, pointing his index finger out but doesn't seem to be at anything. He also chews his index finger a bit.

My daughter didn't point, wave or any of those milestones any where close to the expected time. She didn't speak until November 2019 (not even saying Mum or Dad) and she turned three in January 2020. I was terrified.
Since November, she's caught up and over taken other children we know of her age in terms of her language etc. She just started talking in sentences. It was bizarre. I'd never heard her say a word and then suddenly it was "Mum, what are we doing today?"
11 months is still just a baby. They're not expected to be walking until 18 months.
I know it's hard, please try not to worry.

fast forward 24 years and he is an amazing,intelligent,sociable human being ..try and stop worrying

I don't usually pick at stuff like this. But do you think that autistic people aren't any of those things? I can assure you that opinion is wrong.

I usually can pick up possible traits around 18mths but not sure I could at 12mths or younger.

Keep an eye on anything that becomes repetitive or if he ignores his name as he gets older, any hand flapping when excited etc. There are other reasons to autism too if you have development concerns so make sure he has hearing/eye sight checked and things like that too.

Sounds pretty normal from your description though. Give him plenty of things to explore, not just toys, and not all babies like songs, books etc at that stage if they are desperate to be off crawling and being active.

[quote Okeeffe]@Neednewwellies we don't have stacking cups but those soft blocks. He won't stack them but if I build a tower he knocks it down and then I rebuild. He will only do this 2 or 3 times then he's off to go and stand up again.

Yeah he definitely wants everything in his mouth. His toys and also anything he can get his hands on like our phones or remotes.

He will pull the curtain in front of his face and then pull it back grinning which I take as him playing peekaboo, I will watch some videos and compare.

He passed the newborn hearing test fine but no checks since. He does turn to noises though, loves the hoover and washing machine and goes straight to them when they're on. He's just selective about when he answers to his name.

He went through a stage a few weeks ago where every single time I left the room he cried, he's already stopped doing that but he always follows. Our lounge is baby proof so if I ever pop to the loo I push the door closed (the latch is broke so it doesn't latch) and he's figured out how to pull the door open and get into the hallway and he comes flying down giggling after me.

I'm with him 24/7 really, but he gets excited when his dads home from work and crawls to him.

It's really hard to answer your questions about other people with any certainty, he hasn't seen another person for 3 months due to lockdown. He used to be fine being passed about though, would smile and let other people feed him just fine. [/quote]
Your last paragraph there is exactly what I was going to ask you.
I have a ds 11 months also, he doesnt wave, but I figured it's because he hasnt seen anyone for months so hasnt had the daily wave goodbye. Hes not going to wave if he doesnt even know it exists.

Your 11month old sounds the exact same as mine and I dont have any worries about him.

My older ds has autism and to be honest I knew it from when he was 6 months old - the eye contact was never there with him.

I think we need to take into account that our babies have been sheltered for the last few months so have only seen immediate family and havent been into shops etc. The only car trip my ds has had since March was to the health nurse.

When he's in the sling out on walks he kicks his legs and flaps his arms and squeals with excitement. Only really does it then though?

Also, if I hide and say "where's mama" from wherever I am he will crawl to find me, grinning the whole time and squealing/laughing when he finds me. Is that a positive sign?

When did the HV raise these "red flags," ? (my inverted commas as I don't think they are)

Was it at a developmental check?

At those they always keep going asking the questions until you have said "no" to five things in a row. A bit like a kids ' spelling test. So however well developing your child is they will always seem to the parent to fail the test at the end.

• fast forward 24 years and he is an amazing,intelligent,sociable human being ..try and stop worrying

I don't usually pick at stuff like this. But do you think that autistic people aren't any of those things? I can assure you that opinion is wrong.*

I took it to mean that the p’s son was autistic and all of those things.

@BalloonSlayer I'd phoned with a question about something unrelated, she asked how he was doing, was he walking/saying any words. I said he was crawling and cruising lots, not saying any words properly and wasn't mimicking words we said. Then she asked all about the pointing, waving, clapping and said to keep an eye on the fact he isn't as it's a red flag and we'd reassess next month at his 12mo check. She hasn't seen him in person since 6mo.

@Okeeffe, ok, everything you’ve said this morning including him following you and crawling to his Daddy when he comes home is great. That’s normal behaviour and what you want to see. Honestly, at 11mth they don’t answer their name every time you call them. Everything you’ve said in the last few posts is reassuring. Keep an eye on it all but please don’t worry too much and just enjoy your baby.

@Okeeffe, she told you this over the phone without having observed him??? Why do that? Why not say, ‘ok, just keep an eye out for those things as they should happen soon’ ? That was insensitive and unprofessional. She has no right just to launch into telling a parent about ‘red flags’ and leaving things there. I’m so sorry she’s put you through this and I say that as someone who often goes against the grain on these threads to tell parents their concerns are valid. I am cross on your behalf.

@Neednewwellies Thank you. You've been really reassuring.

Thank you to all other posters too, sorry too many to reply to directly but appreciate it all. Will try and get back to just enjoying my baby.

Hi there

I'm no longer working as an HV as I returned to general nursing a few years ago. But from what you've said I personally wouldn't be concerned. One of the things I would look for is regression or loss of skills such as, was waving and how doesn't (over a prolonged period rather than typical choosiness not to perform on demand!). From what you've said it sounds like very normal social development and actually very similar to my DS. Is yours a first/only child? Sometimes social behaviour is a little later to emerge as they have fewer opportunities to observe and model even if you're doing it all the time! Especially as the last three months have been less than ideal for social contact. Particularly encouraging is his instigation of play such as the peekaboo game. I know it's hard but try to put your mind at rest for a while. Enjoy your smiley little one x

Your HV sounds clueless! Ignore her. He sounds like a totally normal 11 months old.

Pinkfornado...yes you are being very picky..I was trying to reassure OP .Sorry if not clear enough what I was trying to say ..I stand corrected.

Enjoys your baby. Iv 3 dc - one hfa withnsome learning difficulties and 2 with adhd. Yes they can be challenging but they are still great kids. If dc has asd you will cope and deal with it. All my children had speech delay as small children but had therapy and were signed off. Think positive. I'd chill. Wait until.2 year check when things usually.become clearer.

I would try not to worry too much, he is very young anyway and they can change so quickly in a short amount of time. We are waiting for an autism assessment for my nearly 4 year old. He displays lots of traits, he only speaks one or two words rather then longer sentences and only just started calling me mama! I try not to worry as he is improving slowly over time, we are just trying to give him coping methods for when he's older! Its hard but he is so lovely!

Pinkfornado...yes you are being very picky..I was trying to reassure OP .Sorry if not clear enough what I was trying to say ..I stand corrected

No that was me. Apologies, I misread what you posted.