To be this worried about autism with 11 mo? Keeping me up at night

[Okeeffe]

My DS is 11 months old. He can sit up, stand up, crawl and cruise but he can't walk. He can climb up stairs too.

He doesn't wave, clap or point. He doesn't imitate sounds or gestures.

He babbles a bit, says dadada and gagaga but not mama. He will only speak on his own accord and won't repeat words back to us.

He mainly just wants to stand up on things, but when he does play he loves turning the pages on books and walking round and round his music table. Doesn't do much else. He puts literally everything in his mouth! On other toys he might just sit and fiddle with the labels.

He doesn't often headbang, but when occasionally when near mirrors/radiators he leans back and hits his head against them gently

He bites us a lot, and pulls our hair.

He is a very smiley happy boy, laughs a lot, plays peekaboo, follows a point and will chase/be chased.

Loves the bath and paddling pool, splashes around and stands up lots.

Will play in garden and on beach, tries to eat sand/grass but seems happy. When in new places he won't look at me at all, too distracted.

Answers to his name sometimes, but sometimes won't. Generally makes good eye contact but sometimes actively looks away and ignores.

Eats well, feeds himself baby led weaning sort of meals, used to take a spoon from us but now refuses. Will try most things. Sometimes during meals he will randomly start hysterically crying and we don't know why.

Cries when falls over but even when he's barely fallen or has caught himself, hysterics and will need a cuddle and to be picked up to calm down.

Sleeps fairly well, will cry for a few minutes when put down for naps but then will just go to sleep.

Not interested in TV or nursery rhymes. Does like when I rub his belly "round and round the garden" loves being thrown in air/put upside down. Loves being tickled. Will play peekaboo behind curtains, initiated himself and will also giggle when we do it too him.

Not very cuddly, doesn't like to sit still

Health visitor has got me panicked about a few things. Can anyone put my mind at ease

Mine didn't clap until 18 months. Or point really. So far so good at 2. Kids do things differently.

Ah he follows a point, that's great. My DS (dxd at 28 months but I knew from 9-11 months) didn't until he was about 9.

My DS at 11 months very very rarely turned to his name.

Has his hearing been checked?

Sounds completely normal to me tbh. There are so many things it’s ‘expected’ for babies to do by a certain age but I think it’s more unusual for them to hit every mark exactly. The pointing/clapping/waving I wouldn’t worry about at this age - I’m pretty sure my little girl got pointing and clapping from songs which seems the most obvious source, but you say your little one isn’t interested in nursery rhymes so maybe that’s all it is.

My DD is 18 months, she has never pointed as she just goes and gets what she wants. She doesn't wave and never has. She just gives me a strange look when I try and get her to wave. She randomly learnt to blow kisses at around 12 months and she will do this if I say 'goodbye' but will not even try to copy a wave 🤷
Your little boy sounds perfect to me.

With the first child, sometimes mum anticipates needs so quickly that they don't need to point. My second is definitely louder and more demanding!

He's so active, and for the past two months all he has wanted to do is cruise around the furniture. I have just let him. Chatting to him as he does it and he sometimes screeches away happily or babbles as he walks around.

Could he be not doing these things because he's been so preoccupied mastering being upright? Maybe once he's sussed our how to walk things like clapping/pointing/waving will begin? I'm worried I've maybe not been as hands on as I should, and have probably taken a bit of a back seat and just let him do what he wants.

I will add I'm still not quite used to being a mum yet in the sense that sometimes I feel like I have no clue what I should be doing with him. I feel I'm constantly googling what I should do with him and maybe I've just not been doing the right things? Maybe it's me that's an issue rather than him? Atleast that would be an easier fix I guess.

I don’t think mine did any pointing, clapping or waving at 11 months. He did answer to his name. Didn’t imitate words either. Did the biting, head banging etc. He’s now nearly 3 and the issue we have is speech delay, he has words but it’s very slow and there’s a lot of sounds he can’t say.
Had to teach clapping and waving, he was keen on pointing though. They develop at different rates, I wouldn’t worry until he’s older as he’ll do it all at his pace.

See this is the type of thing that drives poor parents to anxiety. This is the problem with google. You can diagnose a brain tumour when it’s a headache. I feel sorry for parents these days.

We all know the red flags for everything and it sets us off I to panic mode of out kids don’t do x,y and z.

I actually feel there’s that many check lists and screening tools these days etc that we’re robbed of enjoying our babies, paralysed with fear that they aren’t doing certain things and what it could mean.

OP your baby sounds like he’s developing absolutely fine. I completely understand how stressful it is when your child isn’t doing something they are ‘supposed‘ to be doing. It’s so stressful.

Please try and remember that not all of them will do everything in perfect order. The fact he likes social interaction is great. So he doesn’t point, that also doesn’t mean he’s got ASD at all so please try not to worry.

I was the same OP worrying about his development, like you he didn’t really point of wage etc...When I think back now, I get angry has I feel the early years with him were robbed of happiness and filled with stress and anxiety. I couldn’t enjoy my baby because I was terrified he didn’t tick all the boxes.

Now he wound talk the hind legs off a donkey and does not stop taking and telling me ever about everything 😂

Enjoy your time OP x

Autism really isn’t such a curse.

I know this isn’t very helpful but he sounds just like my 10.5 month old. No clapping, waving, pointing or imitating. Plenty of smiling, laughing, babbling, and eye contact. If you ask him ‘where’s daddy?’ or ‘where’s mummy?’ he looks at the correct parent and likewise with the dog’s name.

I have also been a bit concerned about the lack of clapping, waving, pointing or imitating. But I really keep trying to tell myself that they are all different.

My first ds didn’t wave, couldn’t see the point I think.

He didn’t point, he just moved and got what he wanted.

He didn’t clap as far as I remember. He just wanted to stand up all the time before he was 1. He was very single minded.

He’s not autistic. My second dc is possibly autistic (not yet diagnosed) but the first signs were very different, to do with controlling situations aged 1+

I have been through every developmental questionnaire with my third as he was prem. You have to take them all with a pinch of salt (with thumb and two fingers...).

Thank you for the responses. I know autism isn't a curse whoever said that below. My only experience of it is quite a severe case, and as someone who already struggles a bit with my own mental health the thought of having to deal with that, and watch my son go through that overwhelms me a bit. Of course if that's what I needed to I would do it in a heartbeat. This uncertainty is what's unnerving me, I feel like I'm no longer enjoying my days with him, more analysing him and reading into everything. It's making me pretty unhappy. I will try and take these comments on board, and relax

You've just described like my thirteen month old, although he's just learned to walk. He doesn't wave or point at things, but he does put his hand up for high fives. I did at one time think he had Autism, because used to twist his hands in a funny way. I'm not going to worry to much about it, I'll just keep an eye on things and see how he develops. I've already mentioned it to his health visitor, at his 9 month visit and she told me not to worry.

Clapping, waving and pointing are milestones children are supposed to reach by 18 months. Your baby is 11 months old. Lots and lots of time for him to develop those skills.

Hi op my second is 13 months and is very similar to yours. All very normal I would say. The head banging I notice is when he's teething badly and regular head massages help. In my culture they describe it as having a heavy head from the tension in the jaw due to pain

My older one didn’t clap or wave until about 11 months. She pointed at 12 months. I was really worried because the other NCT babies were doing it much earlier, but then she talked before any of them. My younger one did it all 3 months earlier, but was 2 months later walking. They’re all so different.

Your description of your baby sounds totally typical for his age to me, but in the nicest way, you sound very anxious .

Yes, you need to keep an eye on his development, and as a PP said, check again with your dr if he’s not doing any waving or clapping etc in another couple of months. If he needs any support then, they can help you, but it’s more likely that he won’t.

But you also need to be able to enjoy this precious time with him. It goes by so very quickly, and you won’t get it back

Oh, and I think you do need to teach him, or at least we did with my older one. She was always far too interested in climbing or getting things she wasn’t allowed, and had no time to watch Mummy and Daddy and figure it out herself!

Ok OP, I'm going to go against the grain here.

First of all, it could be anything. Autism, is just one thing, it could be a language disorder (this would not get a diagnosis at such a young age), learning disability, genetic disorder... or just a delay.

with Autism, you are looking for the quality of interactions and the quantity. A child may not talk, but oh boy can they communicate, the use loads of non-verbal means to communicate, they use joint attention (I.e. when he points, looks up at an object and looks at you).. they use a range of sounds...the child will come to you to show you a toy... he may come and put a toy on your lap.:... but really want you want to see is those gestures, the communication... the looking back and forth etc.

I would recommend you have a look at Mary Sheridan's developmental milestones.

look at your & your dh/dp siblings & ask your dm & dmil what you & your dh did at what age
does your baby get excited when you pick him up? when you go in in the morning how does he behave?
re asd the variations & behaviours of dc are as varied as any other group
they can be bright, loving to you & passive rather than aggressive - I say this as a parent of an adult with asd who knows many others within the spectrum

Your Ds sounds quite similar to my dd at that age and I had the same concerns. I still do to some extent but she’s always making progress.
At 12mo she could walk and played quite independently, didn’t point, wave or clap but did hi5.
At 18 Mo she started pointing, think clapping was about 15mo, waving 22mo. She still really struggles with imitation but is improving. Now if I say, what does a cow do? She will moo. Speech is slowly starting, she will say numbers 4 and 8 in context, and tries to say night night and bye bye.
I was so worried our hv did a referral to paed who wasn’t overly concerned despite me being convinced. I definitely think she has a speech delay but hopefully will catch up eventually. And if she does have asd we will do our best.
I think it’s important to remember asd is a triad of deficits, if he’s social and involves you in games that’s great, following a point is also great. Whether or not DD has sen, One thing for sure is I appreciate every single bit of progress.

The fact your baby responds to emotions (laughing etc) should put your mind at ease

I think your HV has got you worried silly for no reason

My DD wasn't pointing or waving at 11 months, I know this because I wrote a thread about it on another parenting forum! I'm not actually sure when she started doing it, but she did. I wasted a lot of time worrying and googling.

Your little boy honestly sounds totally normal to me for his age.

I remember being out for a drink with some mum friends a while ago and we admitted we'd all worried about autism at some point or another. Any time you google about a delayed milestone, autism will come up. And most babies will be on the later side to meet at least one milestone.

I guess your HV is only doing her job and they have to look out for these things but it seems a bit alarmist to me. Try not to let it get to you too much at this stage, and enjoy motherhood as much as you can