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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I’m really disgusted with myself

115 replies

Anon20201 · 30/05/2020 17:48

I tried to start a diet today but been stuffing my face. I just feel like such a loser. I can’t even stick to a diet for one day what is wrong with me? I really hate myself

OP posts:
anxietrist · 30/05/2020 19:55

Slim fast the milk shakes?? Didn't know they were still around.

Spirali · 30/05/2020 19:58

@BumpBundle I started to take this same approach naturally at the start of lockdown after trying all sorts and I have lost 5lbs! It’s not loads but I’ve not been exercising much either. When I’m out with my toddler she walks slow so I’m not exactly burning much off. But anyway, thanks for sharing cause it’s nice to know it’s worked for you!

B0bbin · 30/05/2020 19:58

I'm struggling too. Just eating the healthy bits I've bought for dieting AS WELL AS the usual crap I'm eating. I am sldo feeling like a diet failure. Starting again tomorrow

B0bbin · 30/05/2020 19:59

also

MadCattery · 30/05/2020 20:04

I use an app called LoseIt! To keep track of what I eat. I entered my height, weight and how much I want to lose per week, and it tells me what my calorie allowance is. If I eat a tiny breakfast it spreads the remaining calories out to my other meals and snacks. If I walk a lot, I earn bonus calories. I am as human as you are and have not lost as much, as quickly as I wanted. Some days my weight goes up a little but I don’t beat myself up over it, because I know the general trend is downward. I’m very happy with my weight loss now, having done this for a year. I plan to keep monitoring what I eat for a very long time, as I know how easily lost weight finds the way back home! I wish you the absolute best, hope you find the plan that works best for you and hope you come back one day to tell us you are at your own personal goal.

Samtsirch · 30/05/2020 20:10

This is me most days, not the self loathing but the waking up full of good intentions, then going to bed thinking “oh well I’ll try again tomorrow “😆
Low carb eating really helps, as does the intermittent fasting,or fasting 2 days per week.
Just look at today as your cheat day and carry on tomorrow!!
Honestly once you get through one day you will have extra determination and motivation.
Keep trying 😊

BoffinMum · 30/05/2020 20:12

I have lost 9lbs on a low carb diet that basically permits red wine and cheese whenever I am about to fall off the wagon. Recommend.

Marsalimay · 30/05/2020 20:12

When a diet fails, why do we blame ourselves?

I gave up dieting about 18 months ago because it was making me miserable, more miserable than being overweight was.

Sertchgi123 · 30/05/2020 20:17

@Anon20201

I tried to start a diet today but been stuffing my face. I just feel like such a loser. I can’t even stick to a diet for one day what is wrong with me? I really hate myself
Please don't hate yourself. It's really hard at the moment, perhaps try again after lockdown, with some help.
SpokeTooSoon · 30/05/2020 20:20

bumpbundle that’s exactly how I diet as well. Works for me every time. At the end of the day it’s calories out versus calories out.

Marsalimay · 30/05/2020 20:22

I quit the diet and decided to exercise to enjoy being in my body rather than to change it, and to eat to for health rather than disease.

KingSheathBelle · 30/05/2020 20:25

Tomorrow is a new day. Try the restricted window of eating, that has helped me not ballon as much as i ought to have. It is so hard, especially at the moment.

Marsalimay · 30/05/2020 20:26

At the end of the day it’s calories out versus calories out.

I was a very out-spoken evangelist for "It's just a matter of calories in, calories out". Even to say as a 30 year old! Nowadays are understanding has developed, and it's not as simple as this. (E.g. www.richroll.com/podcast/michael-greger-522/).

Echobelly · 30/05/2020 20:28

Wrong diet, in all likelihood. The best diet is the one you can keep up because it's realistic and works for your life.

msflibble · 30/05/2020 20:29

OP, you are not disgusting. It's normal and healthy to be hungry and it's not normal or desirable to starve.

Lovemusic33 · 30/05/2020 20:34

I start my diet every Monday and fail by Tuesday. I’m not too bothered at the moment due to lockdown, I would rather be happy and a bit fat 😂

TheOriginalMrsMoss · 30/05/2020 20:34

Take some time to plan how to do this.

I really recommend watching Dr Jason Fung on YouTube and visiting the Diet Doctor website. Keto Rewind is also inspiring - she has lost over 100lb so far.

Limit the number of times you eat and timespan that you eat within. There are lots of ways to do that - you just need to find what works best for you.

Drink lots of water, sipping it throughout the day.

TheOriginalMrsMoss · 30/05/2020 20:37

[quote Marsalimay]At the end of the day it’s calories out versus calories out.

I was a very out-spoken evangelist for "It's just a matter of calories in, calories out". Even to say as a 30 year old! Nowadays are understanding has developed, and it's not as simple as this. (E.g. www.richroll.com/podcast/michael-greger-522/).[/quote]
This is so true. 100 calories of broccoli has a very different effect on the body compared to 100g of chocolate, wine or pizza. Again, Dr Jason Fung explains this so simply and eloquently. It's really worth taking time to read his books or watch his presentations on YouTube.

bibliomania · 30/05/2020 20:43

I know some people say you can have a little bit of everything, but I really believe there are trigger foods that lead to overeating. In my kitchen I have crisps and some flapjacks made by DD. I haven't had any and it doesn't bother me. If I have some, I know from experience l'll crave more and more. I think it's a biochemical response, and it's not really to do with willpower.

Pickles89 · 30/05/2020 20:46

I've been dieting throughout lockdown. I've lost 10lbs so far without too much misery. I was over 13 stone and bursting out of my size 16 clothes - never been so heavy before. Now I'm on the brink between size 14 and 16 and feel much more like 'me' again. I'm determined to get there.

Anyway, this was/is my approach:

I didn't weigh myself for the first few weeks as I knew I'd just get too depressed and reach for the chocolate. Instead I started with a 'detox'. I reduced my smoothie intake from 2 or 3 glasses a day to one. I cut back from half a packet of biscuits to 2 or 3 at a time. I stopped cooking vats of pasta but stuck to the microwave packets so I wouldn't 'accidentally on purpose' cook way more than one portion and eat it all at a sitting. I stuck to 2 slices of bread at a time instead of 3 or 4. I limited the grated cheese I added to hot meals to a handful or 2 instead of half a packet. In a nutshell, I allowed myself to eat plenty, including foods normally frowned on when on a 'diet', but I stopped myself from being unnecessarily greedy. I also took part in the Joe Wicks workouts every day which I think helped keep me motivated, because if you've exercised you don't want to undo your hard work with keeping on eating after you're full etc.

After about 3 weeks I felt ready to step it up a notch. I weighed myself, and started logging calories, but allowed myself up to 1500 a day so again, not really 'diet' territory, just ensuring I was sticking to reasonable amounts. I wrote everything I ate on a thread here in the weightloss forum so I was held accountable. I had a couple of weeks on 1500, then cut back a little to 1450, then to 1400 etc. My approach was 'slow and steady wins the race' because if I'd gone from being a total pig to 1200 I would have failed by day 2. By gradually easing back I allowed my stomach to shrink along with my calorie allowance so I wouldn't feel hungry. And I haven't felt properly hungry at all, not all these weeks.

Aside from reducing calories I've upped my protein and lowered my carbs (though not drastically, I'm still eating them every day) and am trying to make swaps like half a glass of smoothie diluted with water, instead of a full glass 'neat', air popped corn instead of crisps, reduced fat mayo/yoghurt/houmous instead of full fat, sweet potato instead of ordinary potato, having a little bit of dip to help limitless salad down, instead of using a little salad as a means of shoveling dip down, that sort of thing.

I've increased how much water I drink. If I'm feeling hungry I have half a bottle of water and distract myself with youtube or something for 10 minutes. If I'm still hungry then I get a snack, but more often than not I find I'm ok to wait. I also suck of small/only semi filled ice cubes between dinner and dessert to allow my food to go down so I'm fully satisfied with just one cake bar or whatever.

I freeze chocolate biscuits and cake bars, and nibble on them instead of gobbling in 2 bites as they last longer and feel more satisfying.

I've been going for a walk, swimming or skipping every day as well as the workout. Sometimes only for 20 minutes, but better than lying down with my laptop!

I've been trying to appreciate 'non scale victories' - I definitely have less of a muffin top, my skin is clearer, I'm hugely fitter doing the workouts, my arms are noticeably slimmer and I can squeeze into my jeans again.

My advice, don't set yourself impossible targets. Personally I'd like to be 9.5 stone again, but if I admitted that to myself I would think it impossible and just give up. As it is I'm aiming to reach 11.something by the end of June, which I KNOW I can do. When I've achieved that I'll get a boost to my motivation which will see me through to my next small goal, fitting into my size 14 clothes again maybe, and so on.

Honestly OP, if I can get my arse in gear to tackle this then you can too! Best of luck.

kateandme · 30/05/2020 20:48

the way you see yourself and think and taljk about yourself is the problem.not your or your eating.the shame and guilt and diet culture bullshit is whyat the revolving door on why your not managing.beinghealthier will never work if you try to diet or try to do it feeling so crap about yourself

kateandme · 30/05/2020 20:52

TheOriginalMrsMoss this way of thinkingnever works.plus because of other factors.your eniroment.the other foods youve eaten over subsequent days,its nevr an isolated item you need to focus on.also your body make up and even your dna,and what activity youve done.also what you combine foods with.certain fats work by being eaten with carbs or example.starchie food like potatoes break down differently when eaten with protein or fats.
what goes in side by side with what goes out is false.

Marsalimay · 30/05/2020 20:53

I too like Jason Fung's writings @TheOriginalMrsMoss. What are your thoughts on Michael Mosley?

TheOriginalMrsMoss · 30/05/2020 21:01

@Marsalimay

I too like Jason Fung's writings *@TheOriginalMrsMoss*. What are your thoughts on Michael Mosley?
I think I prefer Jason Fung's approach because it's so simple. Eat much less frequently and drink lots more water. His presentations on autophagy are also really interesting. I read the Michael Mosley books but never really implemented them as the food, although delicious, was more difficult to adapt to feeding a family. After I watched Jason Fung, the simplicity of it has clicked into place.
TacosTuesday · 30/05/2020 21:10

Dieting doesn't work. Well it works for the companies that sell their plans and diets..you lose weight, regain, blame yourself and then pay again. Restrictive eating of course 'works' as long as you do it.

Highly recommend reading Intuitive Eating. It was written by nutritionists years ago, it will explain why humans are hardwired for restriction diets to cause over eating and just lead to weight cycling rather than loss. I'd also highly recommend the F*ck It Diet which is based on the same principles. Warning, it requires fundamental change and a rejection of most of the BS fed to us using pseudo science and clap trap that most diets sell us. Rant over. It has worked for me and reset my relationship with food and my body in a healthy way after years of self-loathing and an eating disorder.

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