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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry about being 'that employee;'?

66 replies

howdroll · 30/05/2020 12:24

Two years ago I admit I had poor personal hygiene in work. This was down to psychological issues caused by me being obese. I've lost all the weight and am now down to 8 stone and a size 8 after years of not being able to do it.
In work there was a general speech about the importance of keeping good personal hygiene and everyone knew it was directed towards me. Some of the vile cunts in work loved to make snide remarks

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Original poster
howdroll · 30/05/2020 12:26

The reason I'm worried is will gossip about this incident affect my ability to secure future employment in a relatively small pool of people.

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lilyboleyn · 30/05/2020 12:26

It’s hard to lose reputations once they’re gained. Is it worth a fresh start in a new company if it bothers you that much?

Ohnoherewego62 · 30/05/2020 12:27

Well they were horrible fuckers.

You've taken steps to treat the symptoms of being overweight and hopefully you are very proud of yourself.

If it wasnt you, it would be somebody else. Let your work do the talking.

I'm sorry you've experienced this.

Original poster
howdroll · 30/05/2020 12:28

lilyboleyn - do you think it will affect me re: my references etc?

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Gwenisthename · 30/05/2020 12:31

I'd ask them if their comments were directed at me

Original poster
howdroll · 30/05/2020 12:32

Thanks for your kind comments.

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Imohsotired · 30/05/2020 12:33

A reference can only state facts like dates of employment. If certainly couldn't make any reference to personal hygiene.

ssd · 30/05/2020 12:34

Well done on the weight loss op, you're better than me Flowers

Thelnebriati · 30/05/2020 12:37

They sound awful. I don't think they can legally use that info against you in a reference; its not relevant to your work or the reason you will leave; also because you took the problem on board and you really did go above and beyond to fix the issue.

If you are worried then talk to ACAS (I'm not sure if they are open atm)

Original poster
howdroll · 30/05/2020 12:43

Thank you for all your kind, supportive, helpful comments

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GazingAndGrazing · 30/05/2020 12:43

Well done on the weight loss, you must be incredibly proud of yourself.

Do you like your job? There will always be a next victim, unfortunately

Original poster
howdroll · 30/05/2020 12:47

GazingAndGrazing - to be honest the work conditions are better now because I'm with completely different people.

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Justgivemesomepeace · 30/05/2020 12:52

It was 2 years ago that they had this meeting possibly aimed at you? You have addressed it and there are no longer the same problems. I would think that most people would have forgotten all about it by now and it's in the dim and distant past. I imagine that it really hurt you at the time and its stuck with you but others wont feel the same.
Keep yourself well and carry on.
They wouldnt put something like hygiene issue on a reference in a million years. Try and put it behind you and be proud of how you've overcome your issues.
Well done.

Original poster
howdroll · 30/05/2020 12:53

Thank you Justgivemesomepeace - that's really reassuring

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LellyMcKelly · 30/05/2020 12:54

That was appallingly handled and should just have been a slightly awkward 1-1. Glad you’re feeling better. Remember that every single one of us will have moments we still cringe about - something we said or did, or was said or done to us. Almost everyone will have forgotten about it - it was 2 years ago and you’ve moved one and are clearly in a much better place. Your organisation should have been supporting you not trying to shame you. It won’t affect your employment or prospects. If anything, your ability of overcome your problems has improved your resilience - a very desirable attribute for many employers.

Original poster
howdroll · 30/05/2020 12:55

Thanks LellyMcKelly - your comments have made me feel much better.

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Babycrackers · 30/05/2020 12:56

I used to know someone like this but when I was much younger and it was really awkward but then they sorted themselves out and started taking care of themselves and it was absolutely fine. Honestly anyone who judges you, or is rude, is just an arsehole and I wouldn't even give it your headspace. You're not the same person as you were back then Flowers

Magicra84 · 30/05/2020 12:57

I too had arsehole colleagues making comments about personal hygiene to me. It's really awful op. I too have addressed it but it sticks with you forever as a bad memory. Well done on the weight loss!

VladmirsPoutine · 30/05/2020 13:06

Do you mean the industry you work in is very small so everyone knows everyone sort of thing? In that case I don't think your hygiene would impact references but in a small circle people will talk. However in a broader sense of just moving company then I can't imagine that anyone would know unless you told them. In certain fields like specialisms in Academia everyone knows everyone but if you are just moving to another job then all should be fine. Well done on the weightloss - the mental scars sometimes never heal but they do fade.

WorraLiberty · 30/05/2020 13:06

In work there was a general speech about the importance of keeping good personal hygiene and everyone knew it was directed towards me.

Are you sure it wasn't due to Coronavirus?

TooOldForSims · 30/05/2020 13:07

Was the speech recent? Because it's weird for it to be directed at you if you have lost weight and can now manage your person hygiene more efficiently.

Beefcurtains79 · 30/05/2020 13:12

Why would it be about you if this was over 2 years ago? Are you sure that somebody new hasn’t joined who has a problem?
To be fair though if you have to sit next to someone with poor personal hygiene it can be really horrible and difficult.

Flyinggeese · 30/05/2020 13:12

Hi OP was the general speech recent? If so I'd very much doubt it was directed at you for something 2 years ago.

Flyinggeese · 30/05/2020 13:13

Crikey sorry I must type slowly! X-posted with loads. : )

Original poster
howdroll · 30/05/2020 13:13

Thanks WorraLiberty - it wasn't due to Coronavirus

TooOldForSims - no the speech wasn't recent

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