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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How did you decide whether to send your child back to school or not?

71 replies

Emlou07 · 28/05/2020 23:25

My children are in Reception and Year 1. Their school will be open for them on the 10th.

I'm really struggling wuth what to do! DH thinks we should try it as they both want to go back. My gut is telling me it's too soon.

Even though they want to go back, I don't think at their ages (5 and 6) they are going to fully understand what's happening and why. Like why they can't see more of their friends, or leave their bubble, or why they may have a different teacher.

For those who decided based on their childs mental health, do you not worry it will be affected more with how different things will be?

I'd be grateful to hear what swayed your decision either way, thank you!

OP posts:

PumpkinP · 28/05/2020 23:27

The new rules helped me instantly decide they wouldn’t be going back, before reading them I was open minded as not massively concerned about the virus

Original poster

Emlou07 · 28/05/2020 23:28

On our class Facebook group, it seems to be 60/40 for not going back.

A friend suggested I send them for a couple of days to see if they like it or not.

But I've also read that they won't really be doing much learning, it's more like childcare?

OP posts:

Onceuponatimethen · 28/05/2020 23:29

I decided it was going to be too different and would upset my dds.

TheWristBoundLatexBitch · 28/05/2020 23:46

I've decided my year 6 daughter isn't going back as it won't be the same. It's emotional enough for her at the moment. Head 100% agreed. But she knows us. Maybe have a chat with the school? What's right for one isn't right for another at the moment.

Good luck

Mintychoc1 · 28/05/2020 23:53

It was a total no brainer for me.

I’m a key worker but my year 6 DS didn’t want to take up his available place as none of his friends were going to be there. In fact no one was there. So he’s been with his year 10 brother while I work.

It’s been grim. He’s fed up, misses his friends, feels the lack of adult supervision when I’m at work - I’ve watched his mental health steadily decline as the weeks have gone on.
School starts for him next week, and although only about half his class are going, his 2 best friends will be there. Yes it won’t be perfect, but it will be better than what he has now.
Obviously an 11 year old understands the concept of distancing far better than a 5 year old, so I’m not sure what I’d do if I had reception or year 1 kids.
I’m not worried about the virus though.

sunrainwind · 28/05/2020 23:53

My children adapt well to change and miss school a lot. They are going back - if I feel it's having an adverse affect I will stop them going again but the children we know currently going are having a lovely time in their small groups.

MarcelineMissouri · 28/05/2020 23:54

My youngest is in reception and will be returning on the 8th.
It may be an easier decision for me as I work p/t in the school and have been in helping with key worker kids so am more familiar with what some aspects might be like in practice.
He’s also desperately missing school and is a pretty adaptable chap so I’m quite confident he’ll cope. I’m also happy that the procedures the school are putting in place will not stop him being able to enjoy school. Our mums WhatsApp group suggests that it’s probably about 60/40 not returning so I’m also hopeful that he’ll be able to be with his old teacher seeing as it seems less than 15 kids will be back from his class - we’re still waiting to hear this information.

twinkletoesimnot · 28/05/2020 23:58

My daughter is in year 1. I am also a teacher. I'm not sending her back.

It's not going to be good for their mental health, it's not going to be social - they can't play with their friends. Toys will be limited.

It's not going to be learning either.

She is better off at home. I don't need childcare.

I know it's easy for me to say this. She has siblings and a large garden.

teaandajammydodger · 29/05/2020 00:04

I’m a teacher so I’ll be back but my DH is taking annual leave, unpaid leave, whatever to make my DC won’t have to come with me.

ShakespearesSisters · 29/05/2020 00:05

My youngest is in year 1. She is going back if they are open (decision being made by school tomorrow). My eldest in yr3 was having counselling for anxiety before lockdown. The 1st 3-4 weeks she did quiet well but now she is hitting her head again, sending us notes saying she hates us and hates herself, that she is stupid etc. I'm struggling with all this myself and my only option for change is to send the youngest to school. DD2 is actually very excited, she is looking forward to having all her own things on her desk that no one else is allowed to borrow "because they never give them back mummy".she also knows some of her friends wont be there and she cant hug the ones that are, but says "I will be able to see them though". I'm going to try it for a week. If she comes home all upset I will revisit it but she is the most sane female in the house. I can then try and repair me and DD1 from the depths we have descended into. Crossing my fingers this works as if we carry on as we are at the moment we might never have a normal family relationship in the house again.

MosaicOrnaments · 29/05/2020 00:11

My year1 DC is going back.

They've struggled as an only child with no socialisation and school have said they will be teaching Year R and Year 1 for 4 and a half days a week. DC has also been put with their teacher and the class TA so will be fine.

Parents on the class whatsapp aren't happy that they're not with the teacher, all the Year R and 1 bubbles have a qualified teacher but they aren't happy they don't have their teacher so won't be sending their children back.

Hibbetyhob · 29/05/2020 00:14

I have to go to work (as a teacher). DH is also a teacher. We’ve juggled to keep them at home thus far but I’ll be back to my usual hours in school with my own bubble next week so dc will also have to go to school.

I’m confident their teachers will make the very best of the situation and they will enjoy the smaller classes etc.

It has also been nice just not really having the decision - I have to work so they have to go.

Spikeyball · 29/05/2020 00:14

My son has been in since a few days after lockdown for mental health reasons as he wasn't coping with the restrictions and being home all the time. Some things have changed but there is enough familiarity for him. He's in special school and social distancing is not expected within classes.

Hibbetyhob · 29/05/2020 00:18

Some of these posts are so negative. I’m lucky my dc go to the school I work at so I know the school really well. And it is a lovely school.

But our children have loved the key worker provision. They’ve had a brilliant time doing really interesting creative things. Yes there are some challenges, and some things will be different but it won’t be bleak or a prison cell. They’ll still interact with their peers. They’ll still have positive interactions with the adults in their bubbles. They will still play. And they will adjust really quickly. Children generally do.

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 29/05/2020 00:19

Before I got the school letter I was all for sending DS back on 10th June (hes yr 6) as I feel he could really do with some structure back to his day and he’s driving me up the wall. I’m struggling to get him motivated and my attempt at homeschooling has been very unproductive and he was already behind so was hoping it would help him to do some catching up, however, the letter states this return presents huge staffing and health & safety issues and basically goes on to imply that if you you do not need to send your child in as a result of having no other choice but to go back to work etc then they would prefer you to keep them off. Those comments in themselves have made me feel like it would be wrong of me to send him when he doesn’t need to be there.

From what I can gather there is a good chance he won’t be with his friends and the group will be led by a teaching assistant not a teacher and the majority of the day will consist of spending as much time as possible outside playing and a lot of hand washing and furniture disinfecting in between. All resources have been removed so that classrooms only contain tables and chairs. They cannot even access reading books. Essentially its childcare. He’s also at higher risk due to his asthma. I don’t see the point in risking his health when hes not going in to learn. It all sounds bloody boring and miserable so I can’t see it doing a great deal for his mental health so I’ve decided based on all of that that he’ll stay at home.

namechanging2020 · 29/05/2020 00:36

I am not going to send only one child to school in the middle of an epidemic while all their siblings and both their parents work at home. No brianer for us. Not worth the risk, even if tiny, and school sounds like it will be awful with all the rules.

Original poster

Emlou07 · 29/05/2020 05:59

Thank you for the replies!

OP posts:

Tumbleweed101 · 29/05/2020 06:10

I’ll be sending my Y6 child. I’ve been working in a nursery so I’ll already be mixing with local families and she is constantly bickering with her older siblings now, I think a change of scene and time with her friends will be good for her. My eldest daughter is a fidget and already seeing friends for a walk and I expect she’ll be seeing more friends now she’s allowed. The only one staying home is my Y9 child but even she has been going to her dads.

I think I’d feel differently if I had a younger child going back or if I’d not been out working myself. I also think a Y6 child is capable of understanding and following rules put in place.

Angiefernackerpan · 29/05/2020 06:13

My year 1 DS is in keyworker childcare this week as I am a TA in his school and we are preparing for children coming back from the 1st June. My other DS is Year 6 and will be at school when we start back.

To be honest, if I was not at work I'd keep them both at home. School will be very different, there are not many planning on returning so far.

We are doing our best to make classrooms as nice as we can and we are lucky enough to have lots of outside space and a field so we are planning on taking the DC out as much as possible.

SimonJT · 29/05/2020 06:26

I’m in a few at risks groups, if someone in his bubble tested positive my son would have to live elsewhere for two weeks, not a great thing for a reception child to experience.

He also won’t cope with the new set up needed.

If I wasn’t in at risk groups and he would cope with the new set up he would go back.

TiredMummyXYZ · 29/05/2020 06:31

For me Independent Sage advice showing that a September return would be the safest has influenced my decision. My kids won’t be going back until then. My children are 6 and 8 and I’m a year 1 teacher.

How did you decide whether to send your child back to school or not?

Magicbabywaves · 29/05/2020 06:43

Mine are both going in. I think the school will do a set up that works for the children and there’s no reason to think they won’t do any learning.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 29/05/2020 06:43

Mine are Yr2 and Yr4 so can't return yet, BUT the information we have from school about the return for EYs and Yr1 would make me happy to send them. They will be having lessons, playing together etc. All groups with qualified teacher.

rainylake · 29/05/2020 06:52

I feel that being able to socialise with some other children would be positive for my daughter now, and chances are within the bubble of 15 there will be some other children she likes. The school seems positive about making it work and be a good experience for children. They are just taking each group back 2 days a week so that those in can have a qualified teacher and a better experience with more access to space and resources with deep cleaning in between. If she gets upset and doesn't like it, we'll take her out again but I feel we may as well give it a go because there is a good chance that she will benefit from being able to socialise with other children and we won't know unless we try.

It helps that I have a lot of confidence in our head teacher and I trust she will find a way of making it work as well as possible and will think carefully about the emotional impact on children.

ElsasSalamander · 29/05/2020 07:28

Mine would be going to the key worker group anyway, so DD may as well go into her own class (reception). There is only a small number going back, she will be with her usual teacher & TA and have free access to their usual outdoor play area. I’ve spoken at length with her teacher & am happy that they will do their best to make it enjoyable whilst also keeping everyone safe. DS will remain in the keyworker group as his year isn’t going back yet. It will be a bit different to how it’s been til now but he has a couple of friends in there & is old enough to understand the need for social distancing so I’m not too worried about him.

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