How did you decide whether to send your child back to school or not?

[Emlou07]

My children are in Reception and Year 1. Their school will be open for them on the 10th.

I'm really struggling wuth what to do! DH thinks we should try it as they both want to go back. My gut is telling me it's too soon.

Even though they want to go back, I don't think at their ages (5 and 6) they are going to fully understand what's happening and why. Like why they can't see more of their friends, or leave their bubble, or why they may have a different teacher.

For those who decided based on their childs mental health, do you not worry it will be affected more with how different things will be?

I'd be grateful to hear what swayed your decision either way, thank you!

We are not shielding.
The kids are at very little risk.
Their teacher is a better primary teacher than I am.
They will see their friends.
They will get a change of scenery.
I can get much more work done.
They have not seen a single friend or family member, been in a shop or park for 10 weeks.
So on balance I think it is much better for them to go in.
Plus, I trust the headteacher to make balanced decisions about their safety.

No brainer for me. Kids want to go back and our school is great. For me not to send them would be far more about my own anxieties. Most kids are very adaptable and if they aren’t then maybe time to kindly teach them how to be.

Year 6 ds won’t be going back. He’s asthmatic, his grandpa was in hospital with the virus for 8 weeks and is finally home, but very very frail.
His lovely teacher is shielding. The leadership team do not inspire confidence, and he does not want to go back.

My DC are in the wrong year groups but they would be going back if they could. They are missing school and their friends and no one in our family is high risk. At our school it will definitely be normal learning, not just supervision / childcare, and they'll adapt quickly to the changes to their classroom etc.

It's a small school even before half the parents don't send their children in.
We've very likely already had the virus (DH is a nurse)
They miss their friends a lot
They started off well but now are arguing with each other a lot from being cooped up together
They want to go
I'd rather they got used to it now than had to go back in September to a new teacher and new classroom as well as all the changes.
It's only 6/7 weeks then it's summer anyway.
DS in particular needs school to be school and home to be home again.
I can always take them out again if they really don't get on with it.

DD (y4) will be going in (keyworker place)
She can't wait. She understands it'll be different, but her mental health is suffering being at home.
School have been great at explaining the process & new rules, and I'm happy with the risk levels.
That 'independent sage' thing compared the risk with car accident death. But the chances of catching the disease vary by area. V low numbers where I live.

My older kids (secondary) are coping much better and will not be going back yet- plus I can leave them to do their work while I work.

For me it was simple - the risk the virus poses to children is miniscule. The risk months' of social isolation poses to them is I think very real. They want to go back and see their friends. Also its not just about my children. Suspending normal schooling for...how long??? Is going to be a fucking disaster for disadvantaged families. Also I trust our school to be as calm & sensible as possible. The communications they've sent out suggest they do care about the children's broader well-being and the head is very pastoral (genuinely likes kids, takes classes herself when she can) and unflappable.

My year 6 son will be going back on Monday. If he was going back to this school in sept like my daughter I would possibly have kept him if, but I think it would be strange to finish suddenly in March and then go straight to a new senior school in September. They are planning some transition classes which I think will help him. And besides that, i think the social contact (albeit in a different form) will be good for him.

The school have been wonderful and have sent out a lovely video so the children can see the new layout and put them at ease. We also found out yesterday that they have put him in a bubble with his three closest friends so he’s over the moon.

I'm not really worried about my 6 year old. She u understands more. But I worry that my 5 year old won't understand if she has to sit at a desk for the majority of the day

I have 3.5 year old twins who typically split their week across two settings, we have been asked to only have them attend one setting so we are sending them to their private nursery who will also offer 3 days of childcare over the summer holiday, which was an important factor for us to consider.

They understand things will be different but they are looking forward to seeing some of their friends and teachers. They will be in a hubble of 8 kids (well 6 others plus them).

None of us are shielding or vulnerable, it's been frustratingly difficult to maintain full time work throughout and I am physically and mentally exhausted. The kids are looking forward to getting back and if they hate it I'll pull them out.

The risk is incredibly low to small children, I wpipd think nothing of driving them anywhere and the risk of death from a RTA (or from being a pedestrian) is a very real and always present concern that forms part of the daily risk of general life.

I view this in much the same way for us currently.

My reception child isn’t going back - I’m a teacher, DH is isolating and Y2 sibling can’t go back yet. I think if people only used it if they had no childcare options then it would keep the numbers down and make it easier for the teachers to adhere to the health and safety measures in place. Most children are eager to see their friends and get back to normal but this doesn’t even resemble normal. I don’t know why parents who are going to be at home would send their children in, it’s putting an extra strain on the school. Once the risk is lower still then of course mine will go back, but that’s when all children will be back at school. The social issue could be dealt with now that groups of 6 can meet up outside (from Monday).

I doubt much learning will be going on, once the children have their head around the new routines then it’ll be the holidays again. I just feel so bad for the teachers who are inevitably going to have to break social distancing and put themselves at risk for the very little learning outcome that will result. Children might be at a lower risk but the staff they will be in prolonged contact with aren’t, if a child comes from a household that isn’t respecting the social distancing or lockdown rules then their teacher is at risk.

I know that the statistics say the teachers haven’t been in a majority group but they haven’t been working in the situation they will be expected to be in, its easier to social distance with the key worker children as there are fewer of them and teaching and learning wasn’t expected to happen.

I just think it should have stayed as it was, or school places extended to families who had to return to work and needed childcare, until September because if the risk really is lower now then it’ll be confirmed by then, and ultimately safer. It’s not even effective childcare now because it’s part time and staggered starts and finishes.

I based it on The attitude of the school . Pre school said “we can’t wait to see your children again”. The schools letter made clear they didn’t want them to return. I know which will provide the happier environment . The former has also been super proactive in health and safety measures.

So youngest is going back but my yr1 Isn’t

OP, it will be strange for children trying to understand why they have to sit separately, but it will all be explained in an age appropriate way on their first day back and the feeling of it all being too different will fade pretty quickly I expect. Everyone else will be sitting separately too and children are generally pretty resilient and adaptable. I think this is one of those things were the thought for the parents is worse than the reality for the children. And we will be educating, not providing childcare.

I weighed up the risks/benefits for the whole family, and made the educated guess that we'd be allowed to see people again in June/July time.
I'm so happy I was right and I'm planning on spending the rest of the summer in mums back garden from Monday.

If my parents lived further away or if DS was a bit younger (and couldn't follow the social distancing rules) I'd have sent him back to nursery so at least he'd have got some interaction. This way they get to see the grandchildren (baby can't move yet and 4 year old understands about germs), and I get to hang out in a garden without worrying as much as in the park (cars, dogs, cyclists etc).

It sounds miserable, no more than basic childcare, limited socialisation and a boring lunch hour and I can teach him at home. Not worth the infection risk and I've loved having a germ free home for the first time in months. Constant coughs and colds before then. You can't tell me he won't bring covid home.

My daughter will be returning to her reception class next week. The main reasons are:

• Her mental health - she’s an only child and is clearly struggling with being isolated.
• She’s not engaging with any home schooling now (crying, tantrums) and I’m worried about her getting behind.
• The plans the school have are reassuring - in their usual classroom, usual teacher and TA, staggered drop offs etc (I know this is only possible because a lot of children in her class won’t be going back, so there’s less pressure).
• She took a while to settle into school when she started, so I felt starting Year 1 after several months off would be difficult for her.
• None of us are in a high risk group, health wise.
• We are in an area with low levels of infection/ deaths compared to other parts of the country.

On balance, I think the risks are worth taking compared to the damage to her mental health of staying home. It was still a difficult decision.

The Independent SAGE report was a big concideration that moulded our thinking. Our dc will not be going back untill September at the earliest.

Mine aren’t in those age groups but I wouldn’t send them back, not a chance in Hell. The magic ‘R’ number is still close to 1, there are thousands of fresh cases every day. Other countries waited until their infection rates were far lower, our government have rushed it.

But why would a reception child sit at a desk on their own? The guidance is clear - children don’t socially distance within their bubbles. If your school is proposing social distancing with 4/5 year olds, then they’re trying to put you off sending them in. I would not be impressed

@Sweettruelies The photos the school sent attached to the letter showed each class with separated desks. They sit on one chair and the chair next to them is space for their tray, bag, lunch and drink.

So I took from that they will all have to be sat at their desk for the majority of the day

I didn't ever like the thought of my five year old returning this soon, having to see his school devoid of most of the toys he's used to and without his normal routine. I've always though it'll be detrimental to his mental health, so as we're lucky enough to be able to, I'm choosing to keep him at home. I'm also worried that the SAGE report says it's too soon, and now the govt are claiming they've met the five tests but don't seem to be showing how, I'm even less comfortable sending my DC back.

Then I read the batshit plan my DC's head sent out this week (let's all eat lunch together in the hall! No packed lunches, only school dinners! We aren't even going to try social distancing, but we will keep bubbles apart so that's ok!) and it made up my mind for me. I have zero faith in her to keep the kids safe. Plus the timetabled hours are mad, I don't know how they help any working parent. So even if I'd been tempted before, I'd now be terrified.

My own feeling that things are not really clear about the virus was the main factor.

Was a teacher and DH is a Head. We know how children behave in schools and how unhygienic they and the buildings are.

DS1(Reception) and DD(Nursery) have been very settled and happy at home and there is so little of the school year left anyway I can't see changing again to a different school day and changing back in a few weeks to holidays will help

We do learning things with them at home that I think they gets lots out of.

We want them to be able to see PIL and DH's grandma- who were isolating but now FIL has been downgraded to lower risk by GP so we can spend time with them. Seems more important to us at the minute. I wouldn't let them if they were back at school.

It has been really good to have much more quality family time and if we can have it until September I'll take that. DD has particularly benefitted from it.

Mine have been back 2 half days each this week (they re 6 and 8). Desks apart, keeping 1m apart from other children at all time. Lots of handwashing, no running in playground etc.

Not all parents sent DC back so they re in classes of 8 and 10. DS1 doesn't have any of his friends there.

They are LOVING it. Huge grins on their faces when I collect them.

They've lived 8 weeks of harsh lockdown (not in the UK) and 2 weeks of highly restricted movements. They've not batted an eye with the changes at school. I have zero regrets.

Mine is a reception child and has been in throughout under the vulnerable category.

School and I did a risk assessment together. She has complex SEN and doesn't sleep (maybe 2 hours a night) and can be very violent towards her brother. The risk assessment essentially felt that her younger brother needed to be able to have respite from her. It also determined that her anxiety and school refusal after potentially 6 months off would be a huge problem long term when it comes to restarting. On the balance of all the different factors we all felt she needed to be in more than she needed to be at home for both her and DS sake.

Typically, if it had been clear that Dominic Cummings "following instinct for childcare" was acceptable at the start I would never have sent her as I could have used my parents (both under 60, no under lying issues) to provide that respite a few days a week instead...

My reception child isn’t going back - I’m a teacher, DH is isolating and Y2 sibling can’t go back yet. I think if people only used it if they had no childcare options then it would keep the numbers down and make it easier for the teachers to adhere to the health and safety measures in place. Most children are eager to see their friends and get back to normal but this doesn’t even resemble normal. I don’t know why parents who are going to be at home would send their children in, it’s putting an extra strain on the school. Once the risk is lower still then of course mine will go back, but that’s when all children will be back at school. The social issue could be dealt with now that groups of 6 can meet up outside (from Monday). All schools are taking a different approach though. Ours are actively ringing those who had said they weren't sending their child/ren in & persuading them to 'give it a go' & have been successful in all but 2 cases. The last email we received said they wanted all those who weren't shielding/living with someone's who was to return. It was only in very small print at the bottom that fines won't be issued.

All of dc4(4) Reception class are returning. School will be teaching as much of the curriculum as they're able to. They've only removed the minimum from the class room. Dc4 really needs it, he's been finding time at home increasingly difficult & has spent most of the last 4/5 weeks getting increasingly upset over the smallest of things. While he's only going to be back 4 days a week I'm hoping that having some form of structure & a more formal daily routine (albeit slightly different to the normal one) will help. While we'd never had tears going in from September he'd only just started to properly settle & really love it so I think there's a possibility I'd have a very upset little boy if we were keep him home until they properly re-open.