Aibu about bad zoom etiquette

[Timinfuckingruislip]

Will preface this with “I know times are unusual etc etc”.

However - I always work from home (not covid related - have done so for years). And a huge majority of my meetings are conducted online.

However am starting to get a bit fed up with people deciding to do any of the following

• speak to their children throughout
• decide to answer their phone - WITHOUT muting
• wonder off

And all manner of other things you just wouldn’t do in a normal meeting

It pisses me off as meetings are taking twice as long as they need to, and while I’m happy and friendly enough to say hello to your child/dog/cat whatever at the start - it shouldn’t then interrupt.

Aibu to say that, while having a booked meeting you should be fully present?

@SarahAndQuack it is a little different for me as I’m self employed - but it’s still a thing where people don’t value your time. This isn’t a lockdown bugbear - it’s a general one.

@Gwenhwyfar I do mute myself when talking to my children but I can't mute myself throughout the whole meeting (where my children are chatting throughout) otherwise I cannot participate in the meeting- which I must participate in!

@CSIblonde I know exactly what you mean - and I’m not talking about that.
I’m struggling to try and explain without giving real world examples... but think I say “ok if you want to go ahead with x that we have all been discussing it’s going to cost £20k). Then it’s like “oh person who makes that descision is the one over there playing fetch with the dog”

Being self-employed must be very frightening at the moment.

@georgialondon see I do feel for you. But... sorry your kids chatting through the entire meeting and not on mute really isn’t on.

I know that sounds harsh - but seriously - it’s not.

May be start with a few little etiquette: mute yourself, or you will mute them, try to concenteate in periods of x and sync on advance when breaks will be then stick to it. I would crack on at a good pace with focus but give a few more breaks than usual. I certainly wouldn't extend the training.

@SarahAndQuack I’m not going to complain - I’ve been lucky. And actually that puts my bitching and moaning into perspective. So maybe I’ll start a break out crèche zoom meeting where everyone’s kids, dogs, husbands can chat together instead

@BlueJava thank you! Really good advice. I will do that! Funny how I always do a joke about fire alarms at the moment - but never thought about explain zoom etiquette. Fab idea thank you

Oh, no, don't, it'll drive you nuts!

None of us is 'lucky'. It's a shit situation, sadly.

@sarahandquack - will ask dh to host it drum lessons and make your own slime

I think small kids are tricky when it comes to zoom/teams calls and it probably is best to just mute while you tend to them.

Apart from that I don't think you should do anything on a video meeting you wouldn't/couldn't do in a face to face one. I had a colleague get in his car and drive to asda in one recently. The rest of us were all !

@Timinfuckingruislip a friend of mine has worked from home for years. Her husband happened to be off recently and was confused at her being tied to the laptop / phone. I think he thought she went shopping a lot / watched daytime tv / saw friends etc. But then realised she worked fairly flat out. She was like errr yeah?’

@Timinfuckingruislip neither is working from home taking care of three toddlers love 🍷

These are not normal times

Agreed. Sick of colleagues thinking their children interrupting is cute/funny. It isn’t. It’s f**n annoying.

I can forgive children making some noise and then parents muting whilst they deal with it or shhushing and sending them away. What I really resent is parents including their kids in the call. Sitting them on their lap, saying wave to the camera, expecting everyone to wave back, and then sitting there expecting the rest of us to humour it whilst their child want to show us all and talk about their toy dinosaur/cat/Lego. This can easily add 5-10 minutes to a call, even longer if multiple parents do it and is really unprofessional.

I get you can't stop kids doing it but you shouldn't be encouraging it and actually letting them engage in meetings. I'm very busy, not at all interested in your kids, and the 5 minutes they've just spent talking about the toy i now have to take out of my tea break because I have a full day and you've wasted my time.

I’m so with you on this OP - just press mute and 95% of the problem is solved!

@georgialondon it sounds like you need to take annual leave

@blue25

"Agreed. Sick of colleagues thinking their children interrupting is cute/funny. It isn’t. It’s f*n annoying."

^This, yes, completely. I get it sometimes can't be avoided but some parents need to understand it is a nuisance and their kids aren't cute and funny to anyone except themselves. They might not be able to prevent it but they certainly shouldn't be humouring or encouraging it and need to send them away/deal with them in the quickest, quietest way possible, with as little interruption to the meeting and the rest of their colleagues as they can manage.

I agree with Bluejava - lay some ground rules at the start. Say that you recognise that some of them may be interrupted, and here's what you'd like them to do if so, in terms of muting, etc. If it's 1-1, then say what will happen if you're unable to cover things in the time; maybe you can be flexible about taking a 15 minute tea(/dealingwithkids)-break at a time to suit them. If it's more people, say that you'll carry on if anyone has to leave temporarily; if they are colleagues, maybe you could ask that someone else jot notes in the chat box to help the absentee work out what's going on when they get back.

@changeitupagain this is exactly the sort of thing that I mean. I have literally no issue with the fact that people are in trying circumstances. It’s more this “well look at me at home caring not a fuck about anyone else in this call”

One person in my team of 6 just doesn't get it. His kids climb all over him and then he encourages them to talk to us mid meeting.

This week we've had him following a neighbour's cat around the garden with his laptop while our manager was actually trying to pass on important information, another day his DD was hitting him over the head with a doll which he then waved at the camera and made it dance for us.

He constantly talks over people, changes subject and is slowly driving me mad. I've resorted to just telling him to mute constantly for background noise but can't figure out how to tell him to shut the fuck up in a professional manner. He even got headphones so he could hear over the noise of his kids banging things and shouting but didn't seem to realise it didn't help the rest of us.

I also have two DC at home, only DS has been seen on camera but he was silent and was looking for a pen. I now dread our daily meetings and have to try not to visibly react to his idiocy.

Sorry, no advice but I feel your pain.

Some really great advice so thank you all. I don’t mean to come across as not understanding how difficult it is at the moment.

@CornedBeef451 this! This is the exact sort of thing that I’m referring to (in fact spookily similar).

I have a serious hearing impairment. I now tell people to mute themselves when they're making it impossible for me to hear. It's all well and good that times are strange, but mute yourself if your toddler is having a tantrum so I can at least try to stay involved in the meeting.