Is my “friend” a cf?!

[Bellsandwhistle]

She keeps forcing her DD on my DD to play now lockdown eased and my DD is okay with this some days but it’s every day now which means she can’t call round to other friends as this other girls always there. The other friends aren’t that friendly with this girl and she is quite full on. She keeps turning up and I can’t say much when we are clearly at home and not going anywhere. Yet my “friend” is having lots of socially distanced coffees and drinks on her garden and doesn’t ask me round. The few friends she has round are all good friends of mine too indeed I’ve known them all for many many years more. So AIBU to feel ducked off and used for my daughter and that she isn’t really my friend?! Feel pissed off with this but also that I may be being unreasonable and more than a little childish. Would you be fucked off?!

If she appears just send her back home. Tell her your dd is not feeling up to visitors if your dd wants to hang out alone or tell her your dd is meeting with someone else

Perfectly normal for pre teens to call on each other but you dont have to let her in or force dd to hang out with her all the time

As everyone else says, you’re just going to have to be the adult here and stand up for yourself and DD

Say no sorry got other plans today.

I feel sorry for the other girl, why doesn't she have any other friends?

@Durgasarrow do people actually do that in real life? I just can’t imagine being that confrontational. Girl turned up yesterday and I sent her away as we were eating and told her we wouldn’t be finished dinner to after 6:30. She then turned up later on and my daughter went out with her. She didn’t come as early today but came around 6 o’clock and they have gone out for a walk. I’m trying very hard to separate my daughters friendship from my supposed friendship with the mother. It’s probably all just a bit intense at the minute with lockdown starting to ease and hopefully life will return more to normal quite soon with the girls being able to see other friends as well. I’m normally quite an assertive person in life generally but absolutely hate any confrontations with friends.

Other girl doesn’t have many friends she’s a bit of an unusual child, that sounds mean but it’s hard to describe. She’s just quite needy in terms of attention and also very materialistic. I know her mum has arranged lots of play dates for her to try and encourage friendships as she knows her daughter find difficult in terms of friendships.I absolutely don’t mind my daughter being friends with her but I just find it a bit suffocating at the moment. It’s like every time my daughter steps out the door there she is.

I'm late to this thread and wondering how it all played out in the end @Bellsandwhistles ?

I think what most PPs were missing was that you wanted your DD to be free to choose to go out for a walk and call on different other friend(s) to see who else might be free, but not to have to book things ahead.

Which then became awkward as the other girl was constantly at your door asking DD to go for a walk - hard to refuse in person without any definite other plans. My DC would have too felt awkward to find a way to say it kindly and would have worried about upsetting othergirl.

I hope your DD found a way round it, Even though we're all allowed to SD meet up outside with up to 6 people now, I imagine sometimes DD wouldn't want Othergirl always tagging along too just because she's turned up at your door. You and she should feel free to say not today and not feel you have to mention what DD might be doing later. . Otherwise It's like a Cuckoo who DD didn't invite to join her friends but who arrives anyway.

You'll find getting her a mobile will help, as it's easier to ignore or say ' not today ' to a caller or text, than someone at your door. She could always use yours briefly to make arrangements with whom and when she wants to.