Dream job, and now I might have to quit

[BoujiSnail]

I feel like crying.
Today I started my dream job, it was a promotion from my other job which I've been in for a few years. It's taken ages to earn the experience to move up and now I'm doing it I know it's what I want for the future with room to progress and retrain in something.
On my way home I had an email from ds's preschool to say that they were no longer allowing children to attend two settings and that I had to choose. My ds also goes to a Childminder for two days. I quickly rang the childminder but she has no availability for the other days. I rang preschool but they absolutely won't budge but suggested we move ds there full time. I don't want to do that as it's far away and also I don't want to shaft my Childminder who my son loves. She is a family friend too.
Spoke to my dm but she works full time and my stepdad is vulnerable. DP as usual was useless and said it was impossible for him to take time off as he's self employed and his job is too important.
What am I supposed to do? I want this so bad but I can't work without childcare, all the preschools are introducing this one setting rule, which in my opinion is stupid as ds will still be living in a house with two working outside the home parents (one customer facing, one NHS) and one sister who is in school every day.
I've already taken liberties in this job by having to finish at 3 for most of the time because there are no after school clubs. I cannot have any other days off or WFH as I need to learn from others in the building and set up teleconference equipment, talk to patients and there is no WiFi on the wards.
Bloody stupid Covid!

[Colom]

Just lie and stay as you are. How long is this realistically going to go on for? If they find out later so be it. You'd be very foolish to give up a rare opportunity for progression - especially since your OH sounds a bit of a twat and you may want to rid yourself of him in the future.

[glitterfarts]

Which days of the week do you work? Which days of the week is your DP at his shop?
Do NOT give up the drean job.

The gov't has made things so much worse. Go back to work, but we'll only have part time school, no wrap round care and no holiday care. Right-o. Just leave the kids at home alone then shall we?

[GiselleStClair]

What about an au pair, is that workable? You'd have to get a UK resident given current restrictions but you could maybe wrangle something that way?

[Italiangreyhound]

Giving your child minder fair warning if you have to change your situation is not shafting her.

"I don't want to do that as it's far away and also I don't want to shaft my Childminder who my son loves."

If she is a friend your son will see her again anyway.

Don't lose your dream job, as someone else said, if you are not working you can't employ a child minder anyway.

[Butterymuffin]

I don't believe this. You own the house, you earn more than him, yet he's refusing to change anything at work to look after his child? What are you thinking accepting this?

Tell him he's going to have to pick up your DS at the times you can't. That may mean shutting the shop and coming back later with your DS. It may mean getting taxis or buses. Don't care. It's his responsibility and if he won't take it on, what's the point of him? If he still refused to help, I would be telling him to leave tomorrow. You're making all the sacrifices here anyway, why keep him around?

[redastherose]

Can you look for another childminder who can take your son for the other 3 days a week? If not your DP really does need to step up at least in the short term to cover until things can be sorted out. You definitely shouldn't risk losing your secure dream job for someone who as a PP said up thread is likely to face a tough time making any money at the moment.

[Eckhart]

The trouble is with my dp is far from being egotistical about his career, he is very nervous of change and this is the only job he has ever done

Who gives a flying f*ck? He's got a child to take care of.

[BillBaileysBum]

Just lie.
It’s a bullshit, bonkers rule that won’t apply in a few months.
Say your DP is covering the other days. If anyone finds out, just say you were following your parental instincts ;)

[amy85]

Why is everyone hating on the dp? He already has arranged his working week to help with childcare so the op can work so it's not like he doesn't bother....he's simply stated he can't change anything to help with this new issue which is no different to the op saying she can't change her working pattern to help with this new issue

Find a different childcare provider closer to home....you'll ultimately regret quitting if you do that

[littlefishywhyareyousleeping]

Don't give up your dream job. Your child will be fine in pre school full time. And talk to your DP, its his responsibility just as much as yours

[Leflic]

You are allowed a nanny.

There’s a ton of lovely people who like kids, have loads of energy and would happily come to your house.

Ask around.

[fizzandchips]

Can you employ a mothers help type person - student teacher/student home for summer holidays to come to your house on the other days (and if they drive help with pick up on nursery days) as a mid term solution - appreciate financially not the best option initially, but you comply with the regulations of one setting only.

[DamnYankee]

he is very nervous of change and this is the only job he has ever done

We're all nervous about change.

The only job? How old is he?

And you say he's typically useless...

Your partner sounds like he has issues. Actually, he sounds like my former co-worker'd DH. He had ADHD, but refused to take any responsibility or it.

Dream jobs are far and few between. Get creative - and get counseling.

[highmarkingsnowbile]

Your partner is a pointless. Find a way to work out the childcare and get rid of him. Do NOT continue to compromise your jobs and finances for an unmarried partner who's a loser into the bargain.

[BrummyMum1]

I would lie but pre schoolers are brutally honest so you’ll probably get found out. Can you get a nanny or pay a relative to be a “nanny” 2 days instead. My mum is now my nanny 🤷‍♀️

[DamnYankee]

co-worker's...responsibility for it (sigh)

[creativecringe]

If the child goes to a forest school for one day, what is stopping you putting the child in another nursery for the four days? You are allowed to that.

[PafLeChien]

I don't understand the comments about the DP - he is already doing Mondays and Tuesdays childcare, and he is working weekend. how is that not stepping up already?

OP only need childcare for 3 days a week then? Try another childminder maybe

[LellyMcKelly]

Get a new childminder until the one you want has spaces again.

[Shamoo]

Agree that all of the hating on the DP seems a bit unfair when he is doing two of the days already, and working weekends as a result!

[NoMoreDickheads]

I would lie, tell them you're no longer using the childminder but carry on using them.

[Apple40]

Hi, I am a childminder and it’s only a recommendation that parents use 1 setting it’s not a rule, it’s to reduce the risk etc. Is your childminder completely full could see not increase numbers on the extra days under continuity of care this is allowed.
This guidance may only be in effect until September

[Devlesko]

Get our husband to give up his job/ or him go pt.
It means a lot to you and rightly so, don't sacrifice your career for this.

[ArgumentativeAardvaark]

Can you find a babysitter for the preschool day? A local student, agency sitter etc? Suck up the cost in the short term until the two setting restriction is lifted. Or if your childminder is such a good friend, could she give notice to another client to fit you in?

[Purpleartichoke]

Don’t give up your promotion. You may have to move your son or hire a nanny or just do something crazy, but don’t give up your job.