Dream job, and now I might have to quit

[BoujiSnail]

I feel like crying.
Today I started my dream job, it was a promotion from my other job which I've been in for a few years. It's taken ages to earn the experience to move up and now I'm doing it I know it's what I want for the future with room to progress and retrain in something.
On my way home I had an email from ds's preschool to say that they were no longer allowing children to attend two settings and that I had to choose. My ds also goes to a Childminder for two days. I quickly rang the childminder but she has no availability for the other days. I rang preschool but they absolutely won't budge but suggested we move ds there full time. I don't want to do that as it's far away and also I don't want to shaft my Childminder who my son loves. She is a family friend too.
Spoke to my dm but she works full time and my stepdad is vulnerable. DP as usual was useless and said it was impossible for him to take time off as he's self employed and his job is too important.
What am I supposed to do? I want this so bad but I can't work without childcare, all the preschools are introducing this one setting rule, which in my opinion is stupid as ds will still be living in a house with two working outside the home parents (one customer facing, one NHS) and one sister who is in school every day.
I've already taken liberties in this job by having to finish at 3 for most of the time because there are no after school clubs. I cannot have any other days off or WFH as I need to learn from others in the building and set up teleconference equipment, talk to patients and there is no WiFi on the wards.
Bloody stupid Covid!

[thewinkingprawn]

There are some incredibly unfair comments on here about her DP - he already does childcare and why on earth should be give up a job just because he is a lower wage earner - there would rightly be outrage if OP had posted that she was being asked to give up her job to do childcare simply because she was a lower wage earner. That aside, I would most definitely either fib to pre school for the very short time this rule will even be in place or find an 8-6 nursery. If he’s in pre school he must be off to school shortly and it really won’t matter in the long term.

[Eckhart]

there would rightly be outrage if OP had posted that she was being asked to give up her job to do childcare simply because she was a lower wage earner

But she's feeling that way anyway, regardless of earnings. They both need to be feeling it equally. It sounds like he's not feeling pressured by the lack of childcare at all, and is just assuming she'll do it. There needs to be a compromise, an agreement, a balance.

[Washyourhandsyoufilthyanimal]

Against the grain I’m sure but how will the school know if you keep dc in with the childminder as well? They really have no way of knowing where your child is on days he isn’t with them.

[Bflatmajorsharp]

Please don't encourage OP to carry on using two settings and lie to the school.

It's incredibly unfair on both the school and childminder, who are following guidelines to minimise cross-contamination.

[SimonJT]

If someone suggested a woman gave up her job because her male partner earned more and owned the house the replies would be somewhat different. I doubt they would say a woman who had moved her hours around giving up every weekend so she can be at home two days in the week would be called useless either.

Look at alternative childcare, some settings do have more places than usual due to people giving up their places entirelt due to covid.

[Eeyoresstickhouse]

You can reclaim the funded hours from your childminder if moving settings.

[Michelleoftheresistance]

Congratulation OP and sorry you've had this dropped on you - please don't quit for a temporary problem, this will pass!

I agree with PPs, it's time to look at other childcare.

Nanny or a nanny share, mothers help,
New nursery - full time places filled are valuable to them, ring around
New preschool - many currently are offering limited places for limited hours trying to get all their kids in so may be harder to get full time
New childminder

Yes, going to be expensive and a PITA in the short term but will soon settle down with funding etc and worth it to keep a job that you love and will be good for years to come.

[FrogFairy]

Would it be safe for DP to take son into work with him?

[Blacksideupanddownagain]

Could you move to another pre school or nursery that has hours and a location to suit you/DP better to keep your job? (45 mins travel for nursery is mad if you live in a city)

You say childminder has claimed all the funding, do they get paid upfront for a whole term in advance for the 15/30 hours provision? Presumably you'll have to give 4 weeks notice so may have a period of crossover but otherwise you can transfer your DC funding half way through a term to a new nursery. I realise that's difficult given its a friend, but you've got to consider your own needs too.

[Dozer]

You say DP not DH, so if you’re not married your personal earning ability is paramount. Your DP is certainly prioritising his: vital that you do likewise.

Sort the best poss childcare for the circumstances.

[BumbleBeee69]

How are you OP