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Original poster

Confederate Flag Flying

215 replies

PineapplePrincess · 26/05/2020 21:19

Neighbour has started flying a Confederate flag today.

We are a mixed raced family, and I’m feeling a little unsettled by this. They are generally nice people, although we don’t tend to spend much time in their company. They perhaps don’t understand the impact flying the flag would have.

Don’t think I would say anything (altho’ DH May feel differently). But is it unreasonable to feel slightly offended?

OP posts:
Glowcat · 27/05/2020 10:31

If you’re not in a public building or a castle it’s weird have a flag flying anyway.

wolfmom · 27/05/2020 11:27

Unfortunately there is a house a few streets away with one, I'm assuming they are racist bigots as they also have swastikas and vote Tommy Robinson displayed

Quackersandcheese3 · 27/05/2020 12:01

@wolfmom how awful. Makes me cringe, the thought of that,

Original poster
PineapplePrincess · 28/05/2020 23:56

Spoke to the neighbour. I decided to do it, rather than let DH as feared that could go horribly wrong. Probably should have just let him!!!

She was doing some gardening, so started with small talk (which was difficult to stomach) but then tried to mentioned the flag in passing. She seemed pretty pleased with it.

I asked her if she didn’t mind the controversy associated with it, and she seems confused. I tried to explain a bit of the background and she went a bit stoned faced.

I got the reply “I’m sorry you see it that way”.

Then I tried to explain I wasn’t casting any aspersions, just wanted her to understand how it could be perceived her response was along the lines “I appreciate that you obviously have perceived it in one way but your interpretation is not shared by ourselves.”

I muttered something about being pleased to hear that and left. But don’t think I left on a pleasant note.

I‘m left like I was somehow in the wrong for raising the matter, which perhaps I shouldn’t have done. Maybe was best left alone.

I think we’re on frosty ground now!?!

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 29/05/2020 00:10

I'm sorry it didn't go too well (though maybe you'll have given her some food for thought) but this sort of thing needs challenging so well done for trying!Thanks

Theeighthelephant · 29/05/2020 00:30

The history of the flag isn't interpretation, it's fact.

MrFaceyRomford · 29/05/2020 00:33

In the UK back in the day (talking 70s here) it was a common sign fo being a "rebel" against the establishment. The racial aspects were something that grew up later. I suspect it's being flown by a bunch of ageing hippies.

bottleofbeer · 29/05/2020 00:34

No, you were totally right to raise it with her. Their interpretation? There is only one thing I interpret it as. As fucking white supremacist shit.

Christ, after not being able to get George Floyd out of my head all day this is the fkn limit.

If it's frosty then meh, they're entirely stupid anyway. Were they dropped on their heads recently?

Dugsbollox · 29/05/2020 00:52

As you can see from the majority of the replies here OP, you aren't alone in your feelings about this flag. I doubt your comment will be the first they receive. Hopefully after her initial indignation wanes she'll go away and have a wee google about this.

savehalloween · 29/05/2020 00:59

think we’re on frosty ground now!?!I

Such a strange reaction. Her defensive response makes me think she knows exactly what the flag means.

As surely if a neighbour alerted you to the fact that something you were displaying was offensive and it was the first you had heard of it, you would be mortified?

I also think you would have had to have been living under a rock in recent years to have not heard about it. Even if prior you weren't aware.

Durgasarrow · 29/05/2020 01:30

Wow, she's an idiot. Is SHE British?

Destroyedpeople · 29/05/2020 01:34

Honestly and I am sure others have said but in the uk I think there are a whole heap of who have no idea what the confederate flag means. It's just a decorative item for many. Maybe find a way to let them know. ..

Destroyedpeople · 29/05/2020 01:35

Oh sorry let me go back and rtft

FixItUpChappie · 29/05/2020 01:51

Maybe just out an info leaflet in their mailbox when they are out and they won't know who dropped it by?

FixItUpChappie · 29/05/2020 01:53

Oh sorry I missed that you already mentioned it - so bit late now Brew

CovidicusRex · 29/05/2020 01:59

@MaxNormal that’s not what the war was about. It was about the right to self determination. The northern states wanted the federal government to have legal supremacy. The southern states were fighting for state supremacy (obviously for quite a few of them this was at least in part motivated by the desire to maintain slavery). If it had been about slavery then Virginia wouldn’t have fought with the south and the war would have been over quickly. This is a prime example of the victor writing the history.

CovidicusRex · 29/05/2020 02:03

@MrFaceyRomford ha! Yes this is most likely what it is. I’d imagine they’ll take it down now that they realise it’s become a symbol of white supremacy. Mind you my uncle takes great pleasure is putting swastikas all over the place (he’s Indian so they’re the right way round but even so). Some people just like to be shocking.

Destroyedpeople · 29/05/2020 02:06

Wasnt it more about preventing slave holding states expanding westward and having an economic advantage due to having free labour?

Destroyedpeople · 29/05/2020 02:12

But american civil war history aside...some people are just wilfully stupid ...

justilou1 · 29/05/2020 02:19

If you don’t want to be perceived as a racist dickhead, don’t fly their fucking flag, perhaps?

DarkMutterings · 29/05/2020 02:30

Like others, back in the late 70s/80s I recall a lot of people using in as a sign of rebellion so if she's off that age and a bit quirky as you said, it could be she associates it with that.
So I suspect she didn't know, and was mortified you were calling her a racist, so became defensive. Rather than admit she was wrong, doubled down on her belief it stands for something else. Hopefully she'll decide to remove it in a couple of days - but on "her terms" and definitely not because you said anything.

redbigbananafeet · 29/05/2020 03:01

I wish you'd found out what she thought it represented

BoreOfWhabylon · 29/05/2020 03:11

The Confederate flag has also been employed by far-right organizations and other separatist groups around the world. In Europe, far-right organizations in Germany, Poland, Spain, Italy and the UK have made use of the flag at their rallies. In Latin America the Confederate flag is flown by members of nationalist and conservative Christian organizations in countries such as Argentina, Colombia, Ecuador, Mexico and Peru.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_display_of_the_Confederate_battle_flag#Presence_in_other_parts_of_the_world

Nandocushion · 29/05/2020 03:24

Bet she's confused and embarrassed as she didn't know, and she got defensive when you spoke to her and is now in a bit of a state. It could go either way from here but I'd put money on them taking it down in a day or so after a bit of desperate discussion and some Googling. I too used to think (40+ years ago and from another country) that it was a bit of Americana or some such nonsense but not to know now that it represents a war that was fought to keep black people as slaves (oh, sorry, I mean over "states' rights" Hmm) just shows real ignorance, especially since 2016.

JohnRokesmith · 29/05/2020 03:26

[quote CovidicusRex]@MaxNormal that’s not what the war was about. It was about the right to self determination. The northern states wanted the federal government to have legal supremacy. The southern states were fighting for state supremacy (obviously for quite a few of them this was at least in part motivated by the desire to maintain slavery). If it had been about slavery then Virginia wouldn’t have fought with the south and the war would have been over quickly. This is a prime example of the victor writing the history.[/quote]
That’s nonsense; the civil war was wholly about slavery, and only racists and idiots argue otherwise. This was wholly understood at the time, and there is a huge amount of literature to support the interpretation that slavery was the dominant issue.