Best age gap between children?

[EdinburghFirstTimer]

What do you think the best age gap between young children is?

I’m thinking about many things: kids getting on well, recovery after labour, having your body to yourself for a while after pregnancy and bf, free nursery hours.

All things considered, personal and financial, what is the best gap?

Two and a half years. Childcare is manageable as 30 'free' hours has kicked in for the oldest before the youngest needs to go to nursery but the age gap between them is not too big that they won't play together loads therefore making life a lot easier 😉

Between 2 and 2 and 1/2 years. That works very well and is recommended for a reason - ie not too early so you have a chance to recover from your previous pregnancy and not too late that your children grow up like two singletons rather than two siblings.

If you time it right, it also means you’ve got one doing GCSEs while the other’s doing A Levels - so less stress and less complaints.

My friend left it 4 years and had her second just before her oldest started school. Yes, that means her oldest doesn’t need care through the day at home BUT she’s missing out on building a sibling relationship, and by the time her sister is old enough to play with her, she’ll be interested in other things. I find that sad.

19 months between first and second, 20 months between second and third. No family support but an amazing childminder who was happy to flex round us and drop hours when I was on mat leave/pick up again when I was at work.

Financially it's a hit - we'll have all three in full time childcare for a few months (albeit eldest gets 30 free hours) and will have double fees for a while beyond that. But the eldest two are getting really close now at four and two and both really enjoy interacting and playing with the baby. There'll only be three school years between them, so hopefully not too much juggling in years to come and they should all have similar enough interests that day outs etc will be easy to plan.

It's whatever works for you - I had a big gap and was never close to my sibling growing up. We're better now we're adults, but I was lonely as a kid and didn't want to replicate it for my own. But I know others who think totally opposite!

In my option 3 years appears very manageable from parents point of view but two years for closeness and more similar activities to do together.

I think it totally depends on what works for your family.

We have a 14 month gap between our 2. It's not for the faint hearted, it's been a long few years but I don't regret it for a second. They fight like cat and dog but also play really well together and I love seeing them as babies together.

I wouldn't have it any other way, but that's just me :)

5-6years. That way the first gets to develop their own identity and be your sole focus during major developmental milestones. You also don’t have the headache of paying for 2 sets of nursery fees at the same time. It’s easier to have a baby when ones already in school.

I get on far better with DB2 who’s 5.5 years younger than me than DB1 whose under 18 months younger - we’re NC.

17 months between my 2 - wasn’t planned but worked out brilliantly

I have two years and 3/4 months between my three children. It works well.

@HavelockVetinari back at ya. I so hope you get your 2nd little baby soon. As you know, having children is sadly not a choice anyone can make. It's all down to luck and chance.
Mind you I used to be massively naive to this and once had it all planned out in my head with my chosen age gaps. Haha, as if!