Should I drive 7 hr round trip to see my dad

[disconnecteddrifter]

It's his 80th. Hes all alone. Me and my son would drive down. Stay in the garden. Drive back. What would you do as they are lifting restrictions next week anyway. No symptoms been following the rules until now. Need an answer quickly thanks

Why not? If they can, you can.
Just have a waffle about "instinct" and "integrity" ready.

I'd try to avoid going inside his house. Bring some deck chairs and a blanket to sit on.

There is just no way I would go into the services to eat and toilet and then visit an 80 year parent, no. Or going to far between areas when the purpose of lockdown is to prevent a spread. Coronavirus has not actually gone away. People are still catching it in large numbers daily and also still dying.

Doing it on principle because bloody dominic Cummings did (the new justification for doing anything as though we are children) doesn't alter the facts that there is an assumed risk involved. That is also a lot of driving in a short space of time and I wouldn't feel safe doing it due to the associated risks. I wouldn't use someone elses poor actions as guidance for my own in any other situation so wont be using the actions of a man who has behaved like a prat, now. Nobody else should be either.

If it were me I would ensure he has been sent personal letters and gifts and a long phone call and then visit when you're able to go and see him properly in due course.

My dad is 85 this week. I will be seeing him tomorrow - all safety procedures followed - in his garden

Why have people become so blinkered about what "risk" is and how it should be managed?

We all face risks everyday, we assess them and mitigate where possible and then get on with it. Leaving elderly people isolated for long periods of time is a risk in itself, which can and should be mitigated by a sensibly planned visit IMO.

That is now allowed under the guidelines. You can meet up with one other person outdoors as long as you socially distance.

Go see you dad. Enjoy spending time with him. x

Take responsibility for your own actions. If you feel comfortable doing that, then do it. Don’t base it on what you see others doing/not doing. You just have to face the consequences of your actions, whatever happens.

It’s a pity you didn’t plan it better and isolated for 14 days then you could go and stay for a few days.
I wouldn’t go, it’s not like you are that bothered, if he’s been alone all this time and you’ve just woke up and decided to see him. It’s a big birthday and you clearly put no thought in to it.

Why are you all banging on about the recent events with Dominic Cummings?

IT IS ALLOWED. Jeez, you all bang on about the guidelines being broken but you don't even know what the guidelines are.

@OnTheWaves40 what a thoroughly unpleasant post.

The "rules" advised that you can visit a vulnerable person.

I hope to visit my elderly relative next week, who lives several hours away
The have not been outside since about 16 march.

We have both obeyed the rules & will continue to do so
I can take my own food

If you take him out for a picnic, rather than meet at his house, you won't have broken a single rule, regardless of DCs antics.

www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/world/2020/may/11/can-i-meet-friends-and-family-uks-new-coronavirus-lockdown-rules-explained

@OntheWaves40 😢

There will be minimal risk if you are outside and socially distancing. Your Dad will have a real boost from seeing you, and that's important for a healthy immune system, too. Go for it, unless any if you have symptoms, in which case drive to Dominic Cummings house to isolate.

Lockdown restrictions are being lifted next week? Have I missed that announcement?

I think the only worry is the needing a wee thing. I wouldn’t want to use service station loos and the go and e see a vulnerable person tbh. She-pee? Wee alfresco?

If you don't go clearly your dad doesn't love you enough.

According to DC and the PM.

I’m meeting my mum and dad together with me 2 children today for a picnic as it’s my dads birthday and they haven’t seen their grandchildren since March. It’s my first rule break, but our mental health needs prioritising as the risk will only increase in coming weeks as we return to work (both in education) and children go to childcare.

After all the whoo ha recently, DH and I discussed a SD visit to his parents who while physically doing ok in the lockdown, are massively struggling with not spending more than a few snatched (SD) doorstep moments with family. We spent about an hour in their garden and they stayed in their lounge with the back door open. Socially distanced. I even wiped down their gate latch when we left. We didn't enter the house at all. The kids enjoyed seeing their grandparents and the grandparents enjoyed seeing them and having some half decent face to face conversation. We have been face timing and they regularly speak to other family on the phone anyway but just some time like this has perked them up no end.

I am sure the government need us to start moving about more than we currently are doing and provided none of you are ill then right now, I don't see the harm in giving loved ones a much needed boost to see them through another period of social isolation.

Do you have symptoms of covid yourself, and were you the one who made the lockdown rules and insisted on fining others if they broke them? This affects my opinion on whether it should be done

Have a lovely time, take care.

I would def go and prob stay the night if you can. Why not? He's been going out anyway and I am sure you've been staying alert otherwise you wouldn't have asked the question. 80 is such a milestone and being alone on any birthday is shit.

@Puppy, I'm with you on that to be fair, straight from your house to theirs. Take a picnic. Use a portable wee bottle for toileting on the way there or the 'country wee' and take wipes, sanitiser maybe even a bottle of water and a hand towel as well. I wouldn't be risking going in anywhere else if I was planning a socially distanced visit. Might seem contradictory but it's all about levels of risk isn't it. The more diversions you take on the way there, the greater the chance of you picking something up and leaving it with your father.

I’d go.

Isolate prior so you know you are both healthy.

Don’t use services. They could be hoaching. Your dad is vulnerable. You’d never forgive yourself ever if he got CV just after you visited as you’d know you gave him it.

Take a bucket and a beach towel and pee in the bucket in the car with the beach towel to protect your modesty. Prob easier in back seat with front seat pushed forward so the bucket sits in the floor. Don’t park next to anyone! Take toilet roll and a black bag to put the used stuff in.

I’d try and avoid going in the house at your dads. If he has an outside rap use that to wash your hands. Take your own hand soap and towel to dry hands. If he has a shed or garage make that your toilet and out your bucket and used paper no bag in there. Don’t forget to collect before you leave!

Do you have a tent you could camp in his garden in? Just a thought.