I first want to say how blessed I am to be in a position with so many friends, I do not take this for granted. I have had a very difficult time choosing bridesmaids because it means I have to pick favourites out of my friends, which I feel guilty that do have - is this normal too? I am not in a position where I have to make a quick decision and have time but it is so hard! Is choosing bridesmaids this hard for everyone?
My situation:
I don't object to having a large group of bridesmaids , but it gets expensive. I have split my options into three groups: group 1: 4 friends I love the most, group 2: 6 other friends who would pick me and will be surprised and upset if I don't pick them, and group 3: a further 5 I have to ask if I ask the 6 because we are equally friends, I am closer to some of group 3 than group 2, and it would be odd if I didn't .
From group 1: 3 of the top 4 friends I value the most, I expect they may not even have me as a bridesmaid at their wedding as they have lots of other friends, but I connect with them more and enjoy our conversations more. I will be the first to get married and I would feel very sad if they didn't pick me in return, because they are the ones I would pick first, but I do understand and am just grateful for their friendship. For this reason I understand how upset group 2 may be if I dont pick them.
The girls from group 2 to varying degrees, could all potentially choose me as a maid of honour, and if I didn't pick them to be at least bridesmaids I expect they would be very shocked and our friendship could grow apart. I think the reason they may pick me is because they don't have many other friends and put alot of value on our friendship, and I do love and care for them so much. We grew up together at school. One of these has actually told me they would be really upset if they weren't at least a bridesmaid because I will be their maid of honour, but there are 2 others I would say I have an equal level of friendship with as this girl so its a package deal. A couple have even hinted planning my hen party and they they would want to be maid of honour. I don't think they would be understanding or forgive if I didn't pick them and my priority is the friendship.The truth is I went to uni and made friends that I have more in common with, but group 2 will always be my girls and even though we have less in common, I would do anything for them.
From group 3: the final 5, there are some that I am closer to than those from group 2. 2 of these are my cousins and we had so much fun growing up together it would be lovely to have them by me. Another is a great friend who I have become really close to but only known a year, and we just clicked. we hang around with another girl who I really like but wouldn't necessarily pick but that other girl wouldn't understand if I picked my great friend over her as our friendship comes in a three and feels very equal- another package deal!
Its not as easy as invite who I want, because thats not as important to me as their feelings and maintaining friendships, so can you please advise with this in mind.
how would you pick?