That it’s women who are still locked down?

[Sadie789]

My DH goes back to work next week and rightly so, long overdue in my opinion.

However, I can’t go back to work as with two young DC we have no childcare and it’s not possible to do my job from home.

Under normal circumstances without childcare it wouldn’t really be an issue as there would be classes and clubs and play parks and soft plays and friends to meet up with, so a full weekly schedule out and about with things to do.

I can’t take them to the supermarket or round the shops either, no grandparents allowed etc.

As it stands none of these things are available nor are likely to be for a while, so for me my situation has not changed from the initial lockdown - stay at home, go out for exercise (weather permitting).

Meanwhile my DH and the Hs of my friends are all back at work out of the house living normal days. At the weekends the golf is back on so that’s a leisure option.

Many of my friends are also trying to work from home while looking after children, some also homeschooling older ones.

Women who don’t have children are also on the back foot as many of the professions which are traditionally female - hair and beauty, retail, hospitality - remain closed and will be for some time.

Meanwhile men are back in the workplace. When furlough ends it will be those who are able to present for work and give all their attention to their job who are preferred by employers. Recruitment will be skewed by this too. It’s the traditionally male industries that are able to return earlier- outdoor and manual work.

When it does return childcare is likely to be limited in hours and more expensive- Scotland has quietly dropped the 30 free hours from
August that were going to make it financially viable for me to work. Now it’s going to be a matter of me earning a couple of hundred pounds extra per month instead of nearly £1000 that was previously the case.

I am far from a feminist, but it feels like any equality women had gained is being seriously eroded by lockdown and the exit strategy that has deftly avoided any conversation around how women, especially with younger children, are getting the raw deal.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I'm finding that my male colleagues (generally married to women with careers) are doing at least 50% of the childcare with both parties juggling massively. So yes, depends on your family circumstances.

Not the case in my household. I have been working throughout and my partner is doing the childcare as he is furloughed. I am the breadwinner in our family and my career would take priority. It isn’t necessarily a Male / Female thing.

Go back to work full time, wrap around care is great.

Totally agree - sadly councils are presently forbidding registered childcarers from providing services to those also in school - as this would be mixing too many bubbles. Therefore there will be no wrap around care at present.

It's horrifying enough that hopefully there will be a u-turn in the next couple of days.

I work in a team of 2 in financial services, so both able to work from home. I am a woman with no kids and my colleague has a wife and baby. He has just transferred his responsibilities to me (a woman) and taken several weeks leave so his wife can return to work after mat leave and focus on her job whilst he does the childcare.

All work for same employer so all on full pay it is just personal circumstances. He actually earns more than her but I think would make the same choice even if different employers were concerned as he is thinking about her career prospects long term.

When you bring home more money than him switch roles, that may mean getting more qualifications or just knowing the right people. whatever! You had your roles before covid, just because some areas are opening before others hasn't just been based on childcare needs. BTW This is getting to everyone so don't turn it into a feminazi issue which is how it is coming across!

YABU. You could have chosen to go back to work instead of your husband, but your family has chosen him. That’s a personal thing, not a gender thing.

You chose to go into a lower paid industry than your husband. That’s a personal thing, not a gender thing.

A Feminist is simply someone who believes that women and men should have equal rights and opportunities. Clearly you are a feminist or you wouldn't have written this post.

My husband has been working through all of this. I have 4 young children at home. I’ve never felt more alone and sad in my life it’s so difficult.

professions which are traditionally female - hair and beauty, retail, hospitality - remain closed and will be for some time.

The thing is, women are still choosing to go into these roles. I’m 50 later this year, women working in STEM has been pushed at me since I was in primary school. I’ve had smoke opportunity to advance my career in civil engineering. I never occurred to me that I had to be a hairdresser, or waitress, or nanny or any of those occupations that are “traditionally female”. Women need to break with the tradition, the opportunities are there as much as for men; legislations. Supports this. My school (30 years ago, London) or my DCs school (now, Yorkshire) expect them to go into any kind of job/career other than something that meets their qualifications, interests and apptitude. I genuinely believe that the main blocker to women not moving out of service/caring/retail roles, is well, women.

A Feminist is simply someone who believes that women and men should have equal rights and opportunities. Clearly you are a feminist or you wouldn't have written this post.

This is what I thought too 🤷‍♀️ But according to OP it means I need to ‘grow my armpit hair’ or try and be the ‘top bitch in the boardroom’.

What does being a “feminist” mean to you??? If it’s important to you that men and women have equal rights and opportunities, then I don’t think you are ‘far from’ being one. Otherwise why does the situation bother you?
It really, really annoys me when women claim not to be feminists but take for granted the slow path women are making to get an equal footing in our society. We should all be “feminists” - men and women. Everyone deserves equal right and opportunity to live their life optimally no matter their gender, race etc

@Sadie789 you’re basically right and (the first few pages of) posters seem to by picking holes in your personal setup, rather than your actual point, which was that women are disproportionately effected by lockdown. Whether that’s their own silly fault or something that’s been forced on them is another question entirely.

However...I am astonished at the volume of pps claiming that income disparity is not about gender when women overwhelmingly earn less than men at every level of education and employment, but particularly after having children.

@BikeRunSki I’m in my 30s and our school’s work counsellor pushed us into blue collar roles. We were never encouraged to go to university or grad schemes. Our work experience was in places like hairdressers. They didn’t give a shit.

Luckily I had a teacher who told me I was special (in a non pervy way).

Nearly everyone is in your situation so im sorry but you just have to get on with it, im a single parent im not complaining. My child is also not moving inbetween her dads house and mine so its just me and her all the time which has actually made our relationship better. You just need to look on the brightside, at least you have a job at the end of this all.

@SharonasCorona, I didn’t say I expected all women to go to university. There are BTEC/C&G/Apprenticships in traditionally “male” roles available at school leaver level. If school work/careers advisors are not promoting these, then I’d hazard a guess that they are not doing their jobs very well, but equally, free thinking people of either sex can consider occupations at any level themselves?

@BikeRunSki very hard be free thinking when you’re a child of immigrants in an inner-city school. We needed guidance.

I really don’t get threads like this. My husband and I met at university on the same course, going into the same field. During our careers we made joint decisions as to how we have managed childcare, each taking it in turns to go part time as necessary to juggle childcare. I have until Christmas been the higher earner with better benefits so more childcare fell to me. Then I was made redundant and have recently during COVID taken on a lower paid role to ensure I keep on earning. So, if there was a choice he would
Go back to work first as he’s the higher earner. End of. This isn’t about male versus female, its about your life decisions. Women have traditionally gone into lower paid jobs? What twaddle. Women can make decisions to go into whatever field they wish, no one helped me, I worked hard to get where I am today.

There’s nothing worse than a woman claiming not to be a feminist while complaining about the very things feminism is trying to fix! If you’re not for the equality of your gender then you have no right to complain about the disparity of male privilege.

Me and my partner share childcare and have both worked as key workers throughout Not sure you have a great point to make....

Yeah last to get out of lockdown jail and given the percentages- most keyworkers must be female- nurses care home staff ,supermarket workers- those pesky women have got the country through the pandemic so best to keep as many indoors as possible.,Gawd knows what they would if they were all free!

Yep, completely agree. I love having the kids at home but the lack of things to do with them and places to go etc has worn thin. My dh has a weird job where he works in a building alone and only others on plant outside so he has been able to continue working throughout the pandemic. I work in a museum which currently has not reopened obviously but even when they do I will be unable to work while ever our 2 children are off school. Once again women are expected to bare the brunt of childcare and reading this thread I feel very much like I'm not on my own thinking that.

I sat in in an Economics seminar with a group of other teachers a year or so ago, along with some think-tank people. We were discussing the gender pay gap. I mentioned the variable availability of wrap around care and how hard it is to find the information out when looking at schools. I was the only person in the room who had heard of wrap around care

A group of teachers hadn't heard of wrap-around care?

I would imagine a lot of mothers who work are in a similar situation to you but I think it's probably a stretch to say women in general are still effectively locked down.
Your comment about "Women who work in traditionally female roles.." is a bit ridiculous. They happen to be the types of jobs where people are at risk/ dealing with the public. I don't even know if it's fair to assume there are more females than males in those types of roles anymore. Couples with kids who both work will each decide on their own arrangements to suit their circumstances. I'd say the women may end up staying home in a lot of cases - fairly or unfairly - but I think YABU to make such a broad statement and I don't know what you expect to be done about it anyway.
The bit about the golf makes it seem like you are just p*ssed off about your own situation tbh.