Family member pregnant aibu not to employ her (details to follow).

[Stanzasranza]

I need someone to help me in my small (side) business - basically to accept deliveries/package deliveries/take to post office etc as it’s too time consuming and my time could be better spent doing other things in the business.

These deliveries/parcels are heavy - would be expected to carry heavy boxes at least 6/8 times a day as well as driving to the clients to do potential set up/collection. Not my job but similar: fixing large office printers - I’ll do the fixing while I need someone to collect/deliver/set up as I’ve spent at least 10 years perfecting my trade/experience and not in the position to pay for similar experience. I’m looking at employing someone maybe 12 hours a week split however they want to either over 2/3/4 days - in mind I had either a college/uni student to fit around their studies with a bit more overtime when I’m able to accept more work as I’m not driving over the place.

I mentioned this to a family member in passing and he’s rang me up to tell me that his girlfriend is willing to start whenever I’m ready and when I said that I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting her lift the boxes from the car to the trolley he said that I’d need to support her with the lifting (therefore I’d also need to go in the car with her) and then I might as well do it myself. He’s rang my partner today (it’s my business but he’s probably more friendly with my partner) asking him to talk to me to see what we can do to accommodate her as he doesn’t want his GF lifting but feels ‘we should keep it in the family’.

AIBU to think he’s bit of a CF?

Your partner needs to say it's none of my business sorry and if she wants to apply when the job is advertised she's more then welcome to if she feels she can meet the criteria of the role but it will go to the best person for the job.

Do not employ this person
a) she can't do the basic work you need doing, to free you up to do the skilled work,
but more importantly

b) then your family member (brother?) will think he can tell you what to do in running your business

Is your business quite successful? Sounds as though your CF relative wants a slice of your pie, without doing any of the work.

I get this ALL the time. I employ young people in part time roles. I have tried a variety of CF repelling techniques over the years. I have found that CF don't like making CV's. They don't like being interviewed and they REALLY don't like 'trial shifts' (fully paid). I would say that you welcome her application and ask for a CV. IF she sends one (she won't in my experience - this weeds out 9/10 of them), reply saying you have decided not to progress her application at this stage but will 'keep her on file'. Put the CV in the bin.

I have rigorously interviewed CFs as well, and had them complain about me not being friendly to which I give an incredulous look and say "Oh gosh, sorry, we are friends but this is work, I am the boss here, and I have really high standards"

This reminds me of a super entitled lady. There was a research post at my uni - 1 year. It involved climbing up and down river banks to take samples, and some other physically demanding work. So she interviews and gets the job - your not allowed to.discrimate and take pregnancy into account. Then states that because she is pregnant and suffering from x,y,z she cant drive, cant collect samples and do most of the rest of the job spec. So most of one year contract work ends up not being done and they employ another person to aid her.

Dont employ her as she sounds lazy.

There are lots of pregnant women in physical jobs, seems like this woman cant be bothered with doing the actual job despite being capable.

its not hard - can she do this "These deliveries/parcels are heavy - would be expected to carry heavy boxes at least 6/8 times a day as well as driving to the clients to do potential set up/collection" right now? no?

then she cant do the job

has she applied for the role (is it even advertised) ?
has she been interviewed (can include a physical test to ensure up to job) ?

I think I would punch back with two things.

Tell him:
Firstly, this is not a family business this is your business.
Secondly, you haven't even interviewed her and already her partner is hassling your partner. You don't want your business decisions to be made by other people, so you will go the more professional route of seeking applicants and interviewing them.

JUst say no, and say you don’t wish to employ any family members at the moment as it could cause issues. It’s your business, do whatyou need

As soon as you have a position which she can fulfill you will contact him/her first, but atm you don't have one. You need someone to work independently every day, and he has said she can't.

Wow, what a cheeky fucker

I can’t believe he just said to you “she can start whenever”, like even if she wasn’t pregnant that would be acceptable!

Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

What was your DP's response OP? I hope he told cf where to go.

100% CF.

What he actually means is "Give my girlfriend money" She can't do the job.

It's your business. It does not belong to "The family", or your DP. She isn't suitable as she can't fulfill the most basic requirements of the role ie lift heavy boxes. There is no discrimination involved as she has not even applied. If you HAD offered it to her, and then found out she was pregnant things would be different.

Just tell him no.You will be employing someone who can actually DO what you need them to. The End
Don't ask for a CV, don't contact her. Just ignore them and advertise the job, - I expect you will get somebody easily

'No, I need someone that can lift the boxes themselves, that is the main job requirement!' Absolute CF not just a bit

She doesn't meet the job=description requirements so just say no.
Maybe she can get a part-time job as an airline pilot instead.

Where are you, OP?

For the fact that he called my business partner in my own business to tell me what to do just no absolutely not no !!

Advertise the role, tell her she can apply but that you will, obviously, be picking the best person for the business.

Or tell them that you've seen so many people run into problems employing friends &/or family that you have decided that you will only employ people you didn't previously know.

I'm just shocked he thinks he can tell you who to employ - via your partner who isn't part of your business.

I’m definitely not employing her. She’s helped me twice before her current job working in retail as I quite often offer half a day here and there. She knows what it entails and so does he. It’s quite well paid for what is it as usually I message whoever I feel might want some cash to do ‘errands’ —it sounds like drug dealing but it’s not lol—I had two girls in their late teens/early twenties for the past couple of years as it’s an informal agreement ‘do you fancy earning £80 to do ‘XYZ’ one day this week/weekend’ and for students it’s easy beer money around their studies. They’re going on their separate paths so I’m in need for a couple of other

Let us know what you say to CF and what his response is.
What a CF!

How did you respond OP?

Big fat nope, red flags all over with the pushy messaging!

I think his pushiness is so rude that it gives you the green light to be JUST as rude back. And straight.

'I got the message from DP. First thing, it's not a family business, it's MY business, and you've already had my answer. It doesn't work for me. It REALLY doesn't work for me to hire someone who can't really do the job so I actually need to do some of it myself or get other people involved. That's not taking on an employee, it's doing someone a favour and putting my business out of pocket to do so. And for the record I also find it better to not employ family, I find the lines can get blurred too easily - this is a good example of that in fact!'

Just say that you don’t want to mix family and business on a long term basis. Here and there is fine, but something more formal and permanent is just a recipe for disaster. It’s 1000x harder to build up a boss/employee relationship with someone who has always seen you as Aunt or SIL for example.

Don’t even mention her being pregnant, it’s irrelevant if you’re biggest issue is that familial connection.

Did you talk to CF? I’d tell him you have already offered the job to someone