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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Family member pregnant aibu not to employ her (details to follow).

129 replies

Stanzasranza · 23/05/2020 09:35

I need someone to help me in my small (side) business - basically to accept deliveries/package deliveries/take to post office etc as it’s too time consuming and my time could be better spent doing other things in the business.

These deliveries/parcels are heavy - would be expected to carry heavy boxes at least 6/8 times a day as well as driving to the clients to do potential set up/collection. Not my job but similar: fixing large office printers - I’ll do the fixing while I need someone to collect/deliver/set up as I’ve spent at least 10 years perfecting my trade/experience and not in the position to pay for similar experience. I’m looking at employing someone maybe 12 hours a week split however they want to either over 2/3/4 days - in mind I had either a college/uni student to fit around their studies with a bit more overtime when I’m able to accept more work as I’m not driving over the place.

I mentioned this to a family member in passing and he’s rang me up to tell me that his girlfriend is willing to start whenever I’m ready and when I said that I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting her lift the boxes from the car to the trolley he said that I’d need to support her with the lifting (therefore I’d also need to go in the car with her) and then I might as well do it myself. He’s rang my partner today (it’s my business but he’s probably more friendly with my partner) asking him to talk to me to see what we can do to accommodate her as he doesn’t want his GF lifting but feels ‘we should keep it in the family’.

AIBU to think he’s bit of a CF?

OP posts:
Herpesfreesince03 · 23/05/2020 10:55

You might technically not be allowed to not hire someone because they’re pregnant. You can refuse someone because they can’t do the job though. No one can force you to hire them for any reason. And what if she gets injured? You’re meant to do a risk assessment when you have a pregnant employee. A result of a risk assessment would be to stop them from lifting heavy boxes, which is exactly what the job is. As cheeky as they sound I wouldn’t put it past them to sue you if she gets hurt.

Dontbeme · 23/05/2020 10:56

You have a perfect opportunity to wind them both up here OP. Call him back and tell them it is great she has volunteered to help you in the business for free, it is going to save you loads of money. After all they wouldn't take money from "family" would they, so your DP has decided that his "DP" will be working for free. CF the CF here, go meta OP.

notapizzaeater · 23/05/2020 10:56

Just why would you ? Employing someone is supposed to help you not hinder you

Thelnebriati · 23/05/2020 10:56

Is he just a CF or is he controlling? What man in his right mind pressures his pregnant partner to take unsuitable work?

LillianBland · 23/05/2020 10:57

You have a perfect opportunity to wind them both up here OP. Call him back and tell them it is great she has volunteered to help you in the business for free, it is going to save you loads of money. After all they wouldn't take money from "family" would they, so your DP has decided that his "DP" will be working for free. CF the CF here, go meta OP.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Fedup21 · 23/05/2020 10:58

It’s not his business to keep ‘in the family’ what a bloody cheek.

She will be offering you nothing by the sounds of it and will be a financial drain you’ll have to pay. I’d be furious he rang your DH as well-it sounds like he was hoping he’d talk you round!

PurpleFlower1983 · 23/05/2020 10:58

Just tell them the position has been filled!

matchboxtwentyunwell · 23/05/2020 11:01

YANBU.

She can't do the job.
She didn't even inquire herself.
Your family member has gone to your husband for support?!?

Wow.

I'd definitely say no to all that.

Supersimkin2 · 23/05/2020 11:05

What a horrible man, pushing his pregnant partner into heavy lifting.

dadshere · 23/05/2020 11:06

Tell him no, but under no circustances say it has anything to do with her pregnancy.

Sushiroller · 23/05/2020 11:06

CF. Yanbu.

delilahbucket · 23/05/2020 11:09

Don't employ her on the basis that you should never mix business with personal relationships. It doesn't work and always ends up with the employer being expected to make unreasonable allowances because they are family/a friend. You don't even need to mention pregnancy.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 23/05/2020 11:10

What a horrible man, pushing his pregnant partner into heavy lifting

Not really; he'll know full well that his GF won't be doing ny heavy lifting, but probably just fancies a dip into "family money" ... and, as PPs said, maybe even a nice payout if she got hurt

Oxfordnono12 · 23/05/2020 11:10

Yes! He a CF.. Family can be the biggest assholes sometimes 🙄

Fairenuff · 23/05/2020 11:13

I would be concerned for the poor woman. Did she even want the job or is he just offering her services.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 23/05/2020 11:14

Does she even know she is applying for a job?

Sounds like he is a giant red flag to me.

gavisconismyfriend · 23/05/2020 11:15

“No” would be the straightforward answer, but if you feel uncomfortable with that then just say your insurers won’t cover you for employing someone already pregnant to do heavy lifting.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 23/05/2020 11:17

I wouldn’t even get into more discussions with him, the girlfriend may not be even aware of what the job involves. Just say that you prefer to keep business separated from family and leave it at that.

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/05/2020 11:19

You say she’s his girlfriend and you then call your oh your dp. Does this mean she’s not living with him / long standing? Just wondering why the differing language. In any case, this is your business. She is not family. This is not a family business. Cheeky bastard.

Tistheseason17 · 23/05/2020 11:22

Proper CFs.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 23/05/2020 11:23

By the way, your post reminds me of a very entitled woman I know who decided that perhaps it would be good idea to take a part time job stacking shelves in a supermarket after a life time refusing to work.

So she said she might consider getting such an undemanding job every idiot could do. So I asked her “don’t you have problems with your back? You will need to carry heavy stuff all day” to which she replied with a tirade that it was the responsibility of the supermarket to provide her with a personal helper to carry heavy stuff as she had a medical problem.

Nope, it doesn’t work like that, if you are not able to carry out the work before you take the job, there is no discrimination, you are just NOT a suitable candidate for the role.

WendyHoused · 23/05/2020 11:29

She isn't able to do the job, and youir family member is a CF and an arse.

Noshowlomo · 23/05/2020 11:35

@Dontbeme BEST ANSWER YET! OP do this !

SleepingStandingUp · 23/05/2020 11:36

You're so lucky to have such strong capable men around.
The relative has decided his pregnant gf wants to take on a job that physically she cannot manage (I bet he didn't even need to ask to know what she wanted) and then he's figured out how to get around the fact she physically cannot do the job, and when you're silly little woman brain still didn't get it, he went and spoke to another man, so he might be able to put it into simple words in pink writing.
Perhaps you should take him in as a business advisor

C8H10N4O2 · 23/05/2020 11:42

Have you spoke to the actual applicant or received an application from her? If not there is no applicant and nothing to discuss.

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