To really hate it when people talk about DTD on here?

[thepeopleversuswork]

It's so puritanical and 1950s and makes sex sound shameful and dirty, as if its something to be done on Sunday, behind closed doors and with all the lights off. Like going to the toilet.

This is a discussion board for adult women, the majority of whom have or plan to have children. You are allowed to have a sex life (if you so choose) and to discuss it. For Pete's sake can we stop talking about DTD?

What if someone feels uncomfortable using the word(s) you approve of? Should they not post?

I don't think of it as particularly euphemistic really - it's fairly straightforward, unpoetic, unromantic. Also don't think of it as especially old-fashioned - more like teen slang. When I was young we'd say "Did you do IT?"
I don't think anyone is ashamed or trying to reduce the shame..!

I hate "DTD" as well.

Having it off and. Bonking - those are my terms of choice. What do you think of those OP?

I think you're analysing it far too much! DTD is just a standard acronym across most pregnancy and fertility forums, that became popular years ago. Everyone understands what it means and it's shorter than 'having sex'. I've used it over the years, because it is the site language, not because I'm ashamed of sex!

@thepeopleversuswork I actually find the discussion quite entertaining, but I'm generally interested in use and evolution of language. I don't talk about my sex life with anyone at all, but if I did, I would probably simply conform to the Mumsnet argot and say DTD. Partly because it's often used when talking about conception, which makes sense in that context - it's not the joyful encounter you have for fun, "the deed" in question is trying to get a baby. So I think the delineation is not so much about prurience, but about actively want to separate fun from not-so-fun. After all, most people who post about sex (conception or otherwise) are talking about a problem. I've never seen anyone say, "We did the deed last night, and boy did I get my rocks off". They're talking about impotence, violence, incompatibility and infertility.

covert

yep with you all the way on these:

Having it off (so 1970s but still good)
Bonking (bit naughty seaside postcard but quite fun)
Shagging (my personal favourite)

DTD is an acronym for people who don't like sex but do it to keep their marriage. It makes my flesh crawl.

AuntieMary think "romp" is more of a Sun word than Daily Mail. What would the DM say?

My other favourite newspaper one is a "sex session". Makes it sound like therapy :)

I hadn't realised maybe because I don't spend much time on the pregnancy/conception boards that this is specifically an acronym for when you're doing it just to get pregnant as opposed to for fun.

Maybe that's why it sounds so joyless...

I don’t like it either but prefer it to Baby Dance and other such twee terms on conception boards

If you think dtd is joyless you are doing it wrong op

We call it " l'amour" .

You think going to the toilet is 'shameful'? I used to nurse kids who grew up with chronic bowel problems because of parent with that attitude. Kids who grew up scared and ashamed to have a poo because of their parents' disgust.

DTD has a lot less letters than having sex though... 🤷🏻‍♀️

I mean As an example I could describe in colorful detail what I miss doing with the guy I’m seeing because of lockdown keeping us apart and frequently do to him but it would be awkward and tmi on a message board so dtd / doing it would be more appropriate

It's a common acronym on TTC discussion boards. "DTD CD 11, 12, 13" would be accepted shorthand for saying you had sex on cycle days 11,12,13.

Agree it should be banished to TTC boards ideally but can't get het up about it.

and I would just like to point out, that many couples have sex without ever DTD, as that is specific to heterosexual sex.

No idea what you're all talking about, have had to look it up.

I'm not keen on it but then I don't like 'DH/BF' etc either. I just write out the word husband/boyfriend.

Oh. I thought it meant 'committing murder'.

No wonder I was getting my wires crossed ...

I just had a flash back to Susie verril calling it bumping uglies 🤮

Deadringer I don't think its joyless. That's the whole point of the thread!

I think lockdown is getting to people.

I don't care what terminology is used as long as you can understand the thread these days. Grateful to get through an OP without a face at the moment.

Well I think fornication sounds way more fun than DTD... will find out later 😉

Urrrgh, baby dance, that's even worse. Then, you read 'My DH doesn't want to BD anymore, AIBU'. Well I'm not surprised he doesn't want to if that's what you call it, could there be anything more offputting?

DTD is better than baby dancing...!

I also find it unbearably coy. It smacks of Victorian values. If it's a 'deed' that has to be 'done' it doesn't sound very enjoyable either, sort of on a par with housework and I don't feel orgasmically excited about doing that. Ever!!