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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sleepyhead to sleep in

59 replies

newmum520 · 22/05/2020 01:41

AIBU

I want to put my week old DD in a sleepyhead overnight, my friend said it's far to risky.

Checked with midwife who said it's totally fine.

Just wanted to see if anyone had any opinions either way?

OP posts:
Igotthemheavyboobs · 22/05/2020 02:05

Sleep positioners are against the lullaby trust guidelines so I wouldn't.

Why do you want to use one?

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/are-sleep-positioners-safe-for-babies/

Original poster
newmum520 · 22/05/2020 02:20

Because DD was premature and will not sleep a wink in her cot, I'm actually delirious I'm so tired.

I read the guidelines hence why I posted here, the reason I ask is I have conflicting advice from friends and the midwife who say it's perfectly fine (alone with friend who said it isn't)

OP posts:
namechangeonehundred · 22/05/2020 02:21

As pp said they are against guidelines. However there were a few nights at the beginning that I could only get sleep if DD3 was in hers. I made the decision it was safer than me falling asleep holding her. I have since decided to co sleep and only use the sleepyhead for what it was intended, supervised sleep. Midwife agreed that yes sometimes you have to make a judgement call.

Original poster
newmum520 · 22/05/2020 02:23

I just want to put it inside her cot to get even an hours sleep, she is cluster feeding ever 1.5 hours and if she's not in it she won't sleep at all.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 22/05/2020 02:26

What is the alternative to the sleepyhead? In your arms and overtired? Co-sleeping with an exhausted parent? Sometimes you are assessing different risks. There may not be a risk free option. So you choose the least worst.

ShirleyPhallus · 22/05/2020 02:27

We decided not to as we couldn’t be sure that she wouldn’t get her face too close to the side of it and then have the neck strength to move away again, but she’s fine for supervised naps.

One of the Nordic countries has approved it as safe for overnight sleeping but in USA I think there has sadly been an infant death for that reason, which is why it isn’t suggested.

If you’re comfortable that she won’t move her head then it’s probably fine, lots of people we know use it for overnight sleeping. Congrats on your dd and sorry you’re having a rough time

Have you tried swaddling by the way?

Original poster
newmum520 · 22/05/2020 02:29

Thank you everyone for the advice I'm probably being a bit stupid trying to find the perfect solution.

Husband shielding in a different house and on my own and I'm so tired I'm actually seeing double as I've barely had any sleep and trying to recover from a CS.

OP posts:
namechangeonehundred · 22/05/2020 02:29

Is the cot in your room? I wouldn't have her in another room personally. I used to put the sleepyhead in bed next to me. I know it's so hard when they won't be put down to sleep. Ultimately no one can really tell you what to do. DD3 won't be put down, as she got slightly bigger I followed/follow safe co sleeping guidelines and feed her lying down to get her off to sleep. Not sure if you could look at that if the sleepyhead worries you

Original poster
newmum520 · 22/05/2020 02:30

Cot is next to me it's actually one of those next to me ones but I also read they're dangerous so dare not put the side down, I think my mind is in overdrive to be honest!

OP posts:
Original poster
newmum520 · 22/05/2020 02:31

Thank you for the congrats, she loves to be swaddled for all of five minutes ha.

OP posts:
namechangeonehundred · 22/05/2020 02:33

I wouldn't worry about the next to me, certainly not whilst baby is not mobile. Have you tried feeding lying down yet?

ShirleyPhallus · 22/05/2020 02:33

Next to me cots aren’t dangerous, there was advice about them because some of them had a lip that was too big and a newborn got their head caught and couldn’t move it but that has since been rectified as far as I know (we also heavily researched this)

Give the sleepyhead a go to get some sleep, but do try swaddling again and check out the 5 s’s of sleep

Original poster
newmum520 · 22/05/2020 02:37

Il look at how to set the next to me up properly tomorrow, it's up but I've never had the side down.

If I lay down I will pass out and then I'm terrified il sleep and squash her.

Will check out the 5s if sleep

Thanks for the replies appreciate I'm probably being utterly neurotic

OP posts:
carolinasm · 22/05/2020 02:41

In the end you have to do what works best for you. Every child is different. My oldest would sleep only on her tummy. They say it's not safe, but it worked for us. I also used those sleepyheads at the beggining as sleeping on the tummy was not recommended. Neither was co sleeping. The 3 of them have slept with me when little. But like I said, it's different for every parent and child. You will get to know her slowly. Whatever you read or advice someone gives you, listen and see what resonates with you. Do what works for both of you both. You are both getting to know each other. And you need to rest.

namechangeonehundred · 22/05/2020 02:42

Because you have the bed to yourself anyway I'd look at co sleeping. If guidelines are followed with a breastfed baby it's very safe. For lots of us it's the only way to get some sleep

diddlediddle · 22/05/2020 02:46

Hi OP. As far as I know the sleepyhead has been approved for overnight sleep. It's not a sleep positioner per se. If you look at the types of things that caused problems it was mostly in the US and things that trapped babies on their side. The sleepyhead is completely open and doesn't trap babies in a particular position, and they lie on their back.

FWIW I've used it inside the next to me for both my babies and I know a lot of people have too.

diddlediddle · 22/05/2020 02:50

Having said that I have also coslept - following safety guidelines - and definitely felt more comfortable doing so with second baby when I felt more confident following my instincts. Agree with PPs who say you've got to do what works for you and your baby and allows you to get through and get some sleep. Lots of little babies simply won't sleep just left in the middle of a big cot on their back. Of course you will keep safety guidelines in mind whilst you do what helps.

diddlediddle · 22/05/2020 02:51

Oh and the next to me with side down is absolutely fine! No way the baby will get stuck in it unless it can roll already, especially if you position it properly!!

Original poster
newmum520 · 22/05/2020 02:53

Thank you everyone it's good to have some sounding boards i had been arguing with my own mind for the last couple of nights.

I'm going to give the sleepyhead a try for the first hour and see how I feel if I can sleep without worrying etc

I guess this worry is an introduction to the rest of my life! Ha!

OP posts:
RedRedWines · 22/05/2020 02:53

We used sleepyhead in his next to me cot from a couple of weeks old! He slept so much better immediately and was sleeping fully through the night from 8 weeks old.

We used it as an insert to transition him to the big cot in his own room at 6 months and had zero issues with that also.

Original poster
newmum520 · 22/05/2020 02:54

Baby can't roll she's really tiny

I just need to work out the height and what the straps is for etc

Will also look up safe co sleeping as seems a lot of you guys have had success

OP posts:
Original poster
newmum520 · 22/05/2020 02:55

Sleeping through the night from 8 weeks actually gives me a glimmer of hope.

Currently seeing three of my pillow!

OP posts:
diddlediddle · 22/05/2020 02:56

As you can tell am awake for a night feed but sending solidarity - it's bloody tough and if you're on your own you must be struggling. It's important you get as much sleep as you can 🤗

Original poster
newmum520 · 22/05/2020 03:00

Thank you that's really kind of you!

I hope you finish feeding and get some sleep of your own Daffodil

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 22/05/2020 03:05

I guess this worry is an introduction to the rest of my life! Ha!

It is. The worry and the joy.

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