To feel my employer are suddenly discriminating because I have a young child?

[Tayo23]

I work for a government dpt where it is not usually commonplace to be able to work from home. On 19th/20th March when the schools closed, I was asked in work if this would impact me in regards to childcare - it does, and I was offered a laptop to work from home which I gratefully took.

At this point all my colleagues (except for a minority shielding or in similar positions) remained in the office every day as there were a lack of laptops for them - it was BAU. I worked remotely from home, with colleagues in the office uploading my (and other remote workers) work. A week later my office closed (a non-critical govt dpt) however I have continued to work from home since then although my colleagues without laptops were not working at all. My partner was furloughed a week or so after my office closed so has been a great help keeping 4yo entertained.

At the end of April my office advised those without laptops must return to the office one day a week on a rota basis to upload, (to maintain social distancing). I was not asked because it was understood I was working from home. Last week they provided everyone in my office (around 80 people) with laptops. I have now been told that because everyone else now has a laptop, I am now too required to work one day a week in the office, and spend the rest of the week working from home.

My partner returns to work next week. I now am in same position as end of March before lockdown re childcare. They are allowing me to take special leave for the one day a week I can’t come into the office, for 4 weeks. After then I have to use annual leave. I have repeatedly stressed I am willing to continue working each day from home. I just simply cannot leave my child at home alone. My partner is unable to get paid leave off and we would struggle without his pay.

AIBU to feel this way, they understood initially and accommodated me which I was extremely grateful for. I have worked each day whilst my colleagues barely have done until now, but now they too have the facilities to work from home, the goalposts have been moved.

I am not happy being told when to take AL when I have not asked for any time off. Do I have a leg to stand on here if I take this higher than my own line manager (who robotically regurgitates things without much compassion or consideration for people’s individual circumstances)

I'm sure someone would be prepared to swap as it sounds a much nicer day thanworking at home.

I did this is a previous job and it worked really well.

What about your DH? Can he not take leave ?

I don't think you're being remotely unreasonable.

They've been happy for you to work at home full-time for the last 8-10 weeks or so, but all of a sudden it's no longer possible just because everyone else has to come into work one day a week?

These aren't usual times. Non-key workers with children can't use their normal childcare, so making them use up their annual leave is unfair. If nursery was open to her, OP would use it.

I do have the provisions to work from home

But you are unable to do what they need you to do now which is be in the office 1 day a week.

Lots of people who have the provisions to work from home are being asked to take AL for the reasons already given.

I think you’ve had a bit of a luxury to be honest. My friend is having to WFH with three kids ageing from 3 upwards whilst her dh had to keep working.

Your going to have to get your DH to speak to his managers about his child care issue too.

We have a lady in our office who is WFH on full pay but is refusing to come in the office ‘as she feels unsafe’ . Every body else is in and we have taken social distancing measures. Management are having a meeting about her today.

I think some people have got used to having it a little bit too easy.

SeasonFinale

I will be using family and school clubs during half terms and am hoping to change my contract to part term where I will not work the summer.

These options are not available at the moment though these are not normal times. In normal times I wouldn’t be expecting to be accommodated in this way.

Op, I don't think you are being unreasonable at all, I don't understand why your employer is asking everyone to do a day in the office, why can’t you carry on doing your work at home, and those who live nearer/have no children, go into office. It sounds that that solution would be more productive for you anyway.

Mine are now adults, but I would have had a similar problem when they were younger, with a 45min commute too. Yes you have a partner, but many don’t, what if you were a single mum?

My offices are closed and will be until July at earliest. We recently had a survey to complete about going back, one question was whether we would be affected if schools/childcare were still closed when asked to go back. The management will hopefully take this into consideration, but who knows.

Even with full WFH, and a good employer, a colleague whose DH works shifts as a KW is still struggling (And others are similar) and having to take lots of annual leave. She has asked for unpaid leave, but it’s not yet been approved despite our top manager saying at start of lockdown “If anyone needs unpaid leave, just tell us” ☹️☹️

I do think some companies are being very short sighted in how they are treating staff. This crisis has shown that WFH can work for most companies, most of time, but whether it will change attitudes remains to be seen.

making them use up their annual leave is unfair

People all over the country are being asked to do the exact same whether they have children or not.

Are you in a Trade Union? If so speak to your rep. There was a TUC webinar yesterday about returning to work after Lockdown and implication that you should be allowed to continue to WFH. In fact Government guidance is still WFH unless you can't do your job from home, which you have proved is possible. Failing that can you and dp both use some annual leave for childcare purposes?

I think it’s the opposite op. You’ve been positively discrimated against, you had benefits others didn’t get because you had a child. Reasonable adjustments does not include child care, you’re not disabled. People are expected to work, men or women, as per their contracts and child care is not your employers issue.

If they allowed fathers to work from home and not you, yes you’d have discrimination on your hands, but if both men and women are treated the same you do not.

As such, you’re looking for positive discrimation based on your gender and personal life. An employer is not required to provide that. As such, either request unpaid leave or vacation on this days. If you’re unable to you may need to look at resignation.

I think just stop being flexible because you will never win against a 'computer says no' institution without a helpful manager. Do what they say for the moment. I suspect it does count as discrimination though. Ask an employment lawyer or your union if you belong to one. A lot of posters seem to have missed the part where you worked for weeks while others didn't and your DP provided full childcare during this time. You did your bit to earn your pay.

Let's face it, the organisations that survive this crisis intact are going to be the ones with a grip on their IT and that can flex. Not looking good for yours.

In fact Government guidance is still WFH unless you can't do your job from home, which you have proved is possible

For her and her alone. Whilst doing child care. And arguably there are elements of the role she can’t do due to system constraints. There can also be a question over how well she does the role when also caring for a child, and how easy it is to manage her remotely, and if an exception is granted for her, arguably it should be granted for anyone with a caring responsibility, potentially escalating any difficulties the organisation faces.

It’s really not as simple as I personally can do it.

My friend is having to WFH with three kids ageing from 3 upwards whilst her dh had to keep working.

Good for her, but many jobs can’t easily be done with kids at home.

I and my colleague mentioned above, are chartered engineers doing detailed design, even I am finding it hard to concentrate with everyone at home, esp when on long conference calls with a number of participants.

I can well understand how my colleague with a 4 and 7 yo is struggling. She is not the type to say she can’t do the work if she can, she genuinely is struggling, plus with her DH often in bed after a night shift, cannot leave the kids to own amusement.

Not all jobs can easily be done with kids at your feet.

I suspect it does count as discrimination though

Exactly how? She has not said fathers are allowed to work from home. How is it discrimation?

I think YABU. I can’t believe you’re kicking up such a fuss about taking some AL. If you are looking after a 4 year old one day a week you can’t work as well. Why do you believe you are entitled to sit at home to get paid to look after your child? Does your partner seriously have no holiday he could take to help you out? Lots of people will be losing their jobs in the aftermath of this and your moaning about having to take a few days holiday.

Bluntness100

Which benefits have I had that my colleagues did not? Yes I was given a laptop, they were not. For around 4 weeks the majority had 5 days a week off on full pay, whilst I worked 5 days a week.

Yes they then had to come in one day a week. But social distancing measures are in place in there and that was FAR preferable (by all of their own admissions) to working from home remotely with half a system.

OP has worked from home since March 20th with absolutely no problem whatsoever, so why can she not just continue to do that until schools and childcare re-open?

She also continued to work from home when others were home doing nothing on full pay (not furloughed, just at home being paid as usual) because there wasn't enough equipment, so let's not go down the road of saying she's taking the piss and trying to get out of work.

without a helpful manager

OP has already acknowledged how helpful her work have been.

You did your bit to earn your pay

It doesn't work like that. I can't just say when all the furloughed workers return that 'I did my bit to earn my pay and so now I'm not going to do what you need me to'.

To earn your pay, you do your job. OP now can't do part of that job and so has been offered 4 days special leave and will need to take leave for the rest just like anyone else.

I'm not saying I think OP just wants to get out of work. But I don't think she is any different to the thousands of others who are having to take AL all over the country. And I also think her employers have been far more accomodating than others have been.

I really don't see why it's such a huge deal taking a bit of AL.

Eh, didn’t you say you were given a lap top so you could work from home before others when schools closed? Is this not a benefit?

They have given you a solution they have said you can use your vacation. Because you have child care responsibilities on those days when you should be working in the office

The issue here is you don’t wish to use your holidays.

I think just stop being flexible

OP isn't being flexible. That's the whole issue!

I also feel the responsibility of childcare has been shared here already. I am going to have to massively adapt next week trying to juggle it all on my own.

How has it been shared though? He was furloughed (not going to work) you were working. You've managed to work with your 4 year old because DH was at home as well - how will you manage working when your DC is at home with just you? will you be able to work as much as before? 4yr olds want a lot of attention?

OP has worked from home since March 20th with absolutely no problem whatsoever, so why can she not just continue to do that until schools and childcare re-open?

She had a partner who was looking after their child who's now going back to work. So actually her ability to work effectively at home will decrease.

fluffy71

Don’t expect to get paid to sit at home and look after my child. I’m willing to continue working remotely as I have proven effective.

Working from home with a 4yo is obviously not ideal. But in the current situation millions of people are expected to do it.

Vanillandhoney- thank you! I am definitely not trying to take the piss at all, I’m glad that’s come across to a few

Does it have to be done 9-5? (or whatever your usual huors are?) Could you do it on an evening when your dh is back? Maybe two evenings?