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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I broke the Lockdown rules and I’m not sorry

91 replies

Caplin · 21/05/2020 22:38

Today my younger brother died (not covid). He lived with my disabled Dad who called me on Monday to say my brother wouldn’t wake up. I raced over and spent 20 mins doing CPR on him along with my sister. He had an infection which caused organ failure, heart attacks and strokes.

After 3 days in ICU my brother passed away today. I have spent time every day with my Dad, we sat together and watched over video as life support was withdrawn. My sister left her kids at my house with my husband while she went to hospital with my mum. We all sat together and had wine/coffee.

I broke down when I hugged my dad and he admitted no one had properly hugged him in years, beyond a quick hello and goodbye. He won’t be able to go to the funeral as he is shielded.

I don’t care that we broke every lock down rule in the book today. This is a f@#%ing cruel time.

AIBU?

OP posts:
OhioOhioOhio · 21/05/2020 22:39

I am so sorry for your devastating loss.

DoraemonDingDong · 21/05/2020 22:39

I'm so sorry for your loss.

BouncyTigger85 · 21/05/2020 22:40

I’m so sorry for your loss x

Sassypants82 · 21/05/2020 22:41

I'm so very sorry. Wishing you strength 💐

KatnissMellark · 21/05/2020 22:41

You didn't break lockdown rules, you've been supporting a vulnerable person.

So sorry Flowers

Elieza · 21/05/2020 22:41

I’m very sorry for your loss OP. Very sad Flowers

Peridot1 · 21/05/2020 22:41

I am so sorry. It’s utterly shit and an utterly shit time.

YANBU.

sweetheartyparty · 21/05/2020 22:45

I'm so sorry for your loss. You absolutely did the best you could for your brother and your family, stuff the lockdown.
Flowers.

Foobydoo · 21/05/2020 22:45

Sorry for your loss and you have absolutely done the right thing.

BBCONEANDTWO · 21/05/2020 22:46

Sorry for your loss - and you needed to be with your dad - you're a human being and your dad needed that hug.

Aurorie11 · 21/05/2020 22:47

I’m sorry for your loss.
My Dad is shielding but he went to my Mum’s funeral (she died of Covid), yes the advice is to stay at home but I couldn’t physical bar him, so we managed the risk. I drove him, I wore gloves and mask. He went to the crematorium and then home. We are doing the same again next week as his oldest friend also died of Covid.
For his own mental health Dad need/ed to go, it’s the only time he’s been out, I’m only going out weekly for shopping and collecting his meds - he’s in his 80s with a chronic lung condition - but if I didn’t take him he would just drive himself so it’s the lesser of two evils

Spamellahamella · 21/05/2020 22:49

I'm so very sorry for your loss. My.neighbour lost her brother last week and they are doing what you are doing too. It's only human, you need each other. Take care Flowers

BogRollBOGOF · 21/05/2020 22:50

I'm sorry for your loss.
These are difficult times, and we have to live on. Life and comforting loved ones through the darkest moments are precious things Flowers

chinam · 21/05/2020 22:53

I’m so sorry for your loss. Flowers

zscaler · 21/05/2020 22:53

I am so terribly, terribly sorry Flowers

ShebaShimmyShake · 21/05/2020 22:55

Quite plainly you are not being unreasonable. I'm sorry for your loss.

Original poster
Caplin · 21/05/2020 22:55

Thank you all. Sadly my dad isn’t mobile and he is very large, so it would be very difficult to get him there and back safely and without putting him under huge strain.

OP posts:
WrongKindOfFace · 21/05/2020 22:56

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Nobody will judge you for this.

MyCatsSlave · 21/05/2020 22:56

I’m so sorry for your loss Flowers

ifyoulikepinacolada · 21/05/2020 22:57

I’m so, so sorry Flowers. If you feel able, would you like to tell us a little bit about him?

ScarfLadysBag · 21/05/2020 22:57

You are very clearly NBU and I don't think you've done anything against the rules anyway. You're allowed to care for those who need it, which is what you are doing. So sorry for your loss Thanks

Thurlow · 21/05/2020 22:57

I'm so sorry for your loss. You didn't break the rules, you did what was needed xx

Sewrainbow · 21/05/2020 23:06

I'd do the same, like a shot ....

laurynlouu · 21/05/2020 23:08

so sorry for your loss x

Sewrainbow · 21/05/2020 23:08

To leave your dad alone after experiencing that would be cruel Sad