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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I broke the Lockdown rules and I’m not sorry

91 replies

Caplin · 21/05/2020 22:38

Today my younger brother died (not covid). He lived with my disabled Dad who called me on Monday to say my brother wouldn’t wake up. I raced over and spent 20 mins doing CPR on him along with my sister. He had an infection which caused organ failure, heart attacks and strokes.

After 3 days in ICU my brother passed away today. I have spent time every day with my Dad, we sat together and watched over video as life support was withdrawn. My sister left her kids at my house with my husband while she went to hospital with my mum. We all sat together and had wine/coffee.

I broke down when I hugged my dad and he admitted no one had properly hugged him in years, beyond a quick hello and goodbye. He won’t be able to go to the funeral as he is shielded.

I don’t care that we broke every lock down rule in the book today. This is a f@#%ing cruel time.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MadameMeursault · 21/05/2020 23:09

I’m very sorry for your loss OP, kind thoughts to you and your dad. Agree with PP that you didn’t break the rules as you were helping a vulnerable person.

ssd · 21/05/2020 23:09

I'm so sorry opFlowers

BitOfFun · 21/05/2020 23:10

Caplin , I'm so, so sorry to hear this- my deepest condolences xx

SlowDecline · 21/05/2020 23:10

I'm so very sorry. I had to do CPR on my dad recently, to no avail, and it's something that will stay with me forever.

You do what you need to, to get through this awful time.

peperethecat · 21/05/2020 23:11

I'm so sorry. Flowers

Can't imagine what kind of person you would have to be to vote YABU.

PandaHorse · 21/05/2020 23:13

I'm so very sorry for your loss. You did nothing wrong. Take careThanks

Itisbetter · 21/05/2020 23:13

Of course you did the right thing. The vast majority are doing this so the few who can’t can break the rules. You are exactly who should. I’m sorry it’s so hard.

DurhamDurham · 21/05/2020 23:15

You did exactly what you needed and wanted to do. Only a heartless monster would say otherwise.
So sorry for your loss, my bother died last July and it's a devastating thing to happen. It slowly gets easier to come to terms with and you do start to think of the happy times more than the sad eventually. I hope you and your family are being supported and looked after, you will get through it Thanks

indemMUND · 21/05/2020 23:15

I'm so sorry Thanks you did absolutely the right thing. I can't imagine anyone with even the tiniest speck of humanity left who would disagree.

Dita73 · 21/05/2020 23:16

I’m so sorry for your loss. You did absolutely the right thing. Everyone I know would have done the same Flowers

Frazzled2207 · 21/05/2020 23:16

I’m so sorry for your loss.
You absolutely did the right thing, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

maggienolia · 21/05/2020 23:19

So sorry for your loss OP.
Sending you strength tonight.
You did what you had to for the ones you loved.
Flowers

Redwinestillfine · 21/05/2020 23:20

Brew so sorry op

doubtfulguest · 21/05/2020 23:20

Caplin you broke no rules. I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and your family xxc

Hopeisnotastrategy · 21/05/2020 23:21

I’m very sorry to hear this.

Forgive me if this is wrong, I don’t want to pry, but would it help to tell us a bit about your brother? 💐

em90792 · 21/05/2020 23:29

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I think given the circumstances this is a little different to just genrally breaking the lockdown. And coincidentally i have just posted about my family members breaking lockdown... this is a completely different scenario and I would 100% of done the same.

LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 21/05/2020 23:30

From your title came in fully expecting to say YABU but you're not at all Flowers

RitzSpy · 21/05/2020 23:32

I am so very sorry for your loss. There's a balance of priorities and you have not acted inappropriately imo.

JigsawsAreCool · 21/05/2020 23:36

Sending love x

Namechange198800 · 21/05/2020 23:37

I'm sorry for your loss Flowers

My mum was told last week she has terminal cancer, she only has a few weeks left. I've been going round there.

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 21/05/2020 23:40

I'm so terribly sorry, OP. Flowers

LouLouLoo · 21/05/2020 23:45

I'm so very sorry for your losses @Caplin and @SlowDecline.

Inkpaperstars · 21/05/2020 23:47

You did right. I am so sorry Caplin.

DownstairsMixUp · 21/05/2020 23:50

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

DownADirtRoad · 21/05/2020 23:53

I’m sorry for your loss. Flowers

I see no reason for the title of your post though or your sentence that you don’t care that you broke every lockdown rule in the book. No ‘normal’ sane person would think you should have done things differently to what you felt you needed to do when you were going through such an awful thing. You don’t need to tell anyone or justify your reasons. Some things override lockdown rules, this is definitely one of those things.