To think that people seem to have forgotten that we are human beings

[AlternativePerspective]

Obviously the lockdown was necessary to slow the virus.

But it seems that now people have lost all perspective and have lost all sense of humanity. Someone says they’re missing their partner,and the response is that they’re just going to have to live with it because “people are dying.”

Someone hasn’t seen their family because they live some way away and are told that they should be grateful they’re not in ICU.

Someone does see their family briefly and they’re told that they’re essentially killing people.

Today I saw a recommendation from someone that all long distance travel should be banned for the foreseeable,but this fails to take into account the families that have been separated by this and the impact it has on their wellbeing’s and relationships.

This isn’t about the doomsayers, we’ve had quite enough threads on those.

But it does seem that people seem to expect that all feelings and emotions should be put aside indefinitely and that you’re somehow unreasonable to want to live any semblance of a human life again.

@AlternativePerspective

I haven't seen my family for over a year because we live in different countries, and can't co-ordinate holidays due to work requirements. We do talk regularly, but haven't actually met.

Everything people in history have been through

Why does someone always come up with this sort of comment when people post saying how hard they're finding things at the moment.

What other people have been through or are going through is completely irrelevant to how each individual is feeling at any one time, whether that's in relation to lockdown or anything else.

There is always someone in a worse situation, or usually, but how is knowing that supposed to make anyone feel better when they feel they're not coping.

It seems a lot of people seem to be lacking empathy and they find it very hard to accept that other people feel things differently from them.

Of course you can cope not seeing your partner/friends/relatives while we get this under control.

You might be fine and more than able to cope, heartsonacake.

I'm also managing to cope pretty well, in fact I seem to cope better the longer it goes on, but many people won't be able cope at all and will really struggle.

It's the usual top (or bottom) trumps on here.
Unless you are homeless destitute etc etc you aren't allowed to complain.

There have been multitudes of disgusting comments posted on MN since the start of social restrictions. Some are trolls, others are just racing to the bottom to show virtue signalling at a cost of human feelings and life. People are allowed to have "trivial" worries and concerns. People are allowed to miss loved ones and friends. To worry about their children's wellbeing and education, their employment status.

Life is for living, not just existing in a (not-so) suspended animation while time and a virus tick on.

I think the lock down has given some people a feeling of huge self importance - look at me, I’m actually saving lives, when all they’re doing is what they were doing pretty much anyway.

Totally.

Everything people in history have been through and people about today are whinging because they can’t go out or see family for a few months.
But they implies those people didn't moan or didn't moan more, and that that was a good thing. I'm sure people moaned after the fire of London, I'm sure they had a great all complain. And during the Battle of Hastings or through the war.
You think of Mumsnet had existed then that mothers wouldn't have had an anonymous safe moan about sending the kids away, not seeing their husbands for months /years, still whined about their MILs or neighbours. Give over.
And so you really think the people who did go through that would think that people can only complain if the situation gets worse then theirs?
I assume @heartsonacake that you've never complained about anything ever. A bad night's sleep, how a partner has treated you, a bad back or headache, a crap boss or bad day at work. How very virtuous of you

Where has this idea come from that people lived through war, famine, military occupation without ever complaining?
Yes, worse has happened. Worse is happening. Worse will happen. And I have to be happy about precisely none of it, thank you very much.

Though, to be fair, I'm quite looking forward to telling my future grandchildren that I spent the Coronavirus Lockdown bravely huddled in the coldest part of my home, cooking my single daily potato on the fire I made by setting alight all my clothes and books, never venturing outside, allowing myself no luxury or entertainment so that I could be appropriately miserable (but never complaining) as I flagellated myself for literally killing people... All in the name of the greater good!

but many people won't be able cope at all and will really struggle.

pigsDOfly Okay, so some people struggle. They’ll just have to carry on struggling through. There’s no “I can’t do this anymore/I can’t cope” about it - of course they can.

I assume heartsonacake that you've never complained about anything ever.

SleepingStandingUp Of course people can whinge and moan about it, but they can’t be going out breaking rules to suit them.

They can’t be going “I can’t cope!” because they can. They have to. It’s really that simple.

I went shopping in a university town and witnessed a shop assistant have a go at two youngish lads queuing together with a basket each. "Are you from the same household as only one of you should be coming in!" But they need to pay separately so...

YABU. Everything people in history have been through and people about today are whinging because they can’t go out or see family for a few months. So where shall we take that argument?

There are worse ways to die than from COVID. MND for instance,a long protracted battle with certain kinds of cancers,an illness which gradually removes your cognitive and physical abilities.

you could just as easily apply the argument of “given what others have been through,” to someone expressing their grief over a loved one who has died from COVID, but we don’t because one person’s struggle does not trump another’s.

And people who have taken their own lives because they have been so isolated, do you apply the argument that they should have been glad they weren’t going through what others in history have been through?

I’m sure the only reason we don’t have such an in-depth knowledge of how people felt during the war, the famine, the Spanish flu outbreak is because they didn’t have the internet or social media.

It sucks.

I'd rather be alive and apart for a year or so than risk making my family ill. They're 100 miles away so I've got to suck it up.

I'm used to being isolated anyway as I'm a working lone parent. No social life for a decade.

No social life for a decade.

Not for me

I'm shielding. I've not seen my adult children or my parents since February. It is very hard. I've missed my daughter's 21st birthday and she's just graduated from university and I couldn't see her to celebrate either. It's very hard, but what is the alternative?

I understand how difficult it is for people, I do, but how much harder will it be if we get a second wave that does overwhelm the NHS? Could the country afford to lockdown again for a second time to control it?

This isn't a tyrranical government or a multinational company that we can fight by complaining or manning the barricades. Us complaining or protesting about our rights won't see off a pandemic will it? What would you like to happen now, given they must still try to keep control of infection rates?

Moaning is one thing, we all do it. Well i do anyway.

It's another to be pissed off and then start casting around for excuses as to why lockdown should be lifted/ never have happened in the first place.
The way certain people are invoking battered wives or abused children is surprising consider the lack of fucks people give about them in normal times.
Its obvious and cynical. We all know the difference between 'fuck lockdown cant wait for it to be over'and 'fuck everyone else, I hate lockdown, lift it now....for the kiddies, you understand'
As if lockdown is the problem, not the pandemic.
Because i suppose you can direct anger at the government easier than at some invisible speck of nature. (Not saying the Government, any government is above criticism, obviously)

Getting on with it is something other people should do, even when it is life or death for them. But not something they should do themselves, when it comes to loss of income or higher taxes or their childrens education uninterrupted .

They can't be going "I can't cope!" Because they can. They have to. It's really that simple.

Well no, it isn't that simple, if they don't have the capacity to cope.

Some people might very well sink into a serious depression, take their own lives, even. It really isn't simple.

Obviously, I'm not talking about people who are having a bit of a miserable day and getting a bit fed up.

Some people's lives are really hard, their mental health not strong, and coping, for whatever reason is just not something they are up to.

That is why lockdown and the legal measures may be a morally bad thing and cause more damage than good of course. It is not in the greater could necessarily nor will it necessarily save more lives than it will harm by keeping up these measures which breach our civil liberties.

The right to life is the most fundamental right Xenia.
That has to be taken into account

It's amazing that some posters can go on and on about saving people's lives and yet clearly don't give a crap about anyone else on a personal level. Total empathy bypass.

As has been said before, there were always cunty types on MN but COVID has given them a steroid injection of cuntiness

As if lockdown is the problem, not the pandemic. it’s both.The pandemic has ensured that we have to go into lockdown, which has been necessary.

But lockdown is only sustainable for so long for so many reasons. Not just because of people’s mental health but because of the economy, because we are by our very nature social beings who need interaction with others.

And one of the problems with the lockdown is that people aren’t content with it just being about being in lockdown.

I’ve seen more than one statement today from someone saying that long-distance travel should be banned.If that’s the case then all travel should be banned.

People are currently swarming to the beaches and people are justifying it by saying that they have the “right” to do that under lockdown regulations. But if those same people drove the same distance to visit a family member or partner they would be slated and being told that they are breaking the lockdown rules. You can’t have it both ways.

I am also shielding and I haven’t seen my family or partner since March as they both live some distance away. Of course I have no choice. But that doesn’t mean my feelings of isolation are invalid.

they can't be going "I can't cope!" Because they can. They have to. It's really that simple.
So great to see another example of mental health doesn't matter. Go on, give us your wisdom on how 'simple' it is to manage.

Gosh, what a thread!

People have always struggled through national crises... the ‘stiff upper lip’ , dig for victory,’ ‘mum’s the word,’ were just slogans and sound bites , meant to appease a struggling and protesting nation. How on Earth did parents cope during the world wars when all their sons were called up? I strongly suspect that they didn’t cope and spent much of their time on radios and gossiping with other families.
Most of us us are struggling now with separation from loved ones and feeling isolated but, to be sure, at least we now have means of communication.
Real hugs speak volumes. Working with colleagues is so important. Ok, world wars meant lack of any communication but during these wars we could hug, cry on each other’s shoulders and meet up with family, friends and neighbours.

These are very different times. We should all try to understand how others are feeling.

As to the wayward thread of organ donation... as far as I’m concerned, when you’re dead, you’re dead. Why shouldn’t a teen , awaiting a liver transplant receive yours’? You won’t know about it. You won’t miss it when you’re inflamed in a crematorium. To deny a young mum a heart , just because you don’t like the change in legislation for when you’re dead is bonkers and is somewhat inhuman.
Think I’ll put a hard hat on now...

It is so, so hard looking after a toddler in these circumstances when you had worked hard to set up a support network - part time nursery place, friends with children the same age, National Trust membership to get to regular wide open spaces, family visits. It all depended on access to other people which was gone overnight.

I feel lucky as I can steel myself somewhat, now I get enough sleep, but I am so frightened for the PND risk in the thousands of new mums out there. And that's just one "type" of isolation and loneliness. I can't imagine shielding as a single person with diabetes, like my ex-colleague.

I'll cope, because I have to, but that doesn't mean that I didn't burst into tears when DH finished work today because I miss my mum.

As someone who suffers from some mh isssues which I had just got under great control before this , please don't think it's easy and we should just cope, that's like just saying pull yourself together - if only it was that simple , unless you've ever been there is hard to understand , I know I didn't until it hit me like a steamroller from nowhere and if I could of just picked myself up and dusted down that would of been great , but it took a lot more than that to get myself back on track , this is hard for prob 99% of people but a lot harder for some than others due to various reasons not just mh and it's ok to moan and feel resentful about it all

I'm glad of the opt out system for organ donations.