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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the mum should be doing more to control her child

29 replies

LowFat · 19/09/2007 14:18

DD (4) just had a first swimming lesson - she missed last week because she had a cold. But anyway, got htere and some children were already in the pool from the mum n tot session before hand.

One little girl was a real little fish, she kept going under water and was having a great time.

But when the lesson started she kept doing her own thing, and going under. Now there are 2 instructors in the water with 12 children. But this little one had almost constant attention on her, and not ebcause she was swimming well, but because she was'nt listening and was going under and generally distracting all the others.

AIBU to feel a bit annoyed with the girls mum for not telling her to pay attention. We have all payed the same for the lessons, but while her child was being disruptive the teachers had to stop what they were doing and spend their time telling her to come back and behave etc.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 19/09/2007 14:19

Was mum in the water with her?

Original poster
LowFat · 19/09/2007 14:21

No all parents on side watching.

Some of us had young DC's, mine was in his bath chair so I could respond to DD if needed.

LG DM was chatting to a friend and both had younger siblings.

OP posts:
Legacy · 19/09/2007 14:22

12 children to 1 instructor doesn't sound very good IMO?

Also kids are normally kept on side while being taught and others are practising.

Not sure it's the Mum's fault - not many 4 year olds would listen anyway (was the Mum in the water too?)

I'd change the swimming class to be honest.

pagwatch · 19/09/2007 14:23

I think she said two instructors for 12 children...

hana · 19/09/2007 14:24

instructor should have told child to get out of the water - of speak to the mother after the lesson - I woudln't say it's the mother's position to do that

Hulababy · 19/09/2007 14:25

If mum was not in the water then I really think it is up to the swimming instructiors to control the child.

The instructors should be finding a way of dealing with the disruptive child, which does not stop the overal lesson being spoilt for the other children in the class.

And if they are finding it too much then they should speak to the mum afterwards and give the child some warnings that if is continiues then she will have to miss some swimming time/sessions.

In DD's swimming lesson disruptive children have to sit out for a period of time until they can start to behave more appropriately, for H&S reasons I would imagine too. Two boys were asked to leave the sessions completely as their behaviour didn't improve - they were a nightmare TBH, but older than 4yo.

Mum should be having a word with her daughter after sessions too to reinforce the appropriate behaviour.

We are not allowed to talk to our child during swimming lessons.

Legacy · 19/09/2007 14:26

OK - sorry - misread that.

But agree - children not 'swimming' with instructor should be kept out of the water. that's what they do in our lesson - the kids only swim across 1-2 at a time, and then the teacher can give them both close attention.

lucyellensmum · 19/09/2007 14:26

i agree with legacy, far too many children in one lesson, i would have thought this wouldnt be allowed but there you are. I do know that it is a two to one ratio of under eights with parents at our local swim class. To be honest, if the teachers cannot engage all of the class and certain children become bored and disruptive, i cannot really see how this is the parents fault.

Hulababy · 19/09/2007 14:26

Legacy - in DD's swimming class all children are in the pool for the whole lesson, with swimming instructor on the side.

cardy · 19/09/2007 14:26

yes, if the mum wasn't inthe water how could she. it's up to the instructor to control the children in the water

Original poster
LowFat · 19/09/2007 14:26

Swimming classes are like gold dust round here, I was queuing for 2 hours to get to this one and it;s considered one of the best locally.

It's 2 instructors in the water BTW, but with this little girls behaviour it might just as well have been 1.

I spent the entire lead up to the swimming lesson talking with the DD about the importance of listening to the teacher so she could learn and be safe in water.

And I was watching her as well as entertaining DS so if I saw her behaviour start to become unacceptable - or if she left the group (as this LG did) I was ready to talk to her and send her bac.

For once though DD was intent on listening and learning and her absorbed what I told her - I was so proud. But the LG did manage to distract her a couple of times by going under water etc.

OP posts:
Legacy · 19/09/2007 14:27

Our lessons are 1:4. If it's too many the kids get cold waiting about and start fidgeting with the floats etc.

LadyMacbeth · 19/09/2007 14:27

Yes child should have been told to get out of the water, not fair on other children.

And I would look in to other swimming classes/complain to the instructors that unless something is done about it you would like a refund for any advance payments.

Hulababy · 19/09/2007 14:28

Legacy - in DD's swimming class all children are in the pool for the whole lesson, with swimming instructor on the side. However this is in araised shallow part of the large pool (they can raise floor level of parts fof it) - so all children can reach the bottom. There are about 8 in the class, with one instructor. Children are from age 5 up.

Original poster
LowFat · 19/09/2007 14:29

Should add yes when instructor with a child the other are told to sit on the side, but the LG was'nt listening and was always in the water or uder the water - so that means one instructor is concentraiting on her and the other is ther doing 1 at a time with the other kids.

In effect I feel the others were loosing out a bit, because without the disruptive behaviour they could have done more with the 2 instructors.

OP posts:
Legacy · 19/09/2007 14:29

Oh, OK Hulababy - that may make a difference. DS2's class can't all stand up in the water.

Agree it's a nightmare if one child is disrupting though - you should definitely speak to the instructor.

moljam · 19/09/2007 14:29

up to instructor not the mum

MaryBleedinPoppins · 19/09/2007 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hulababy · 19/09/2007 14:33

Yes, guess that is why it is like that Legacy. I think DD would be rather miffed to have to sit on side and watch. She loves her lessons and has really taken to swimming recently, and pretty quickly too. But at her lesson she gets a full 40 minutes in the pool, which I think is really good.

Original poster
LowFat · 19/09/2007 14:34

Okay point taken. But if it's just one parent who child (at one point) just happened to be in front of her mum jumping in and going under - in your position...honestly now....would you not say something to your child?

OP posts:
Hulababy · 19/09/2007 14:37

Honestly - if in that situation, yes I would. But discreetly to try to avoid an instructor see me doing it!

MaryBleedinPoppins · 19/09/2007 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Legacy · 19/09/2007 14:39

The DSs and I have a kind of 'sign language' for this sort of situation (when it occasionally happens )

I catch their eye, give them a disapproving look and then tug my ear for "listen" and then I point to the instructor.

It usually works, as they know they will be in trouble afterwards if they don't.

TellusMater · 19/09/2007 14:40

We're not allowed poolside. So it is totally down to the instructors.

newgirl · 19/09/2007 18:28

i would talk to the instructor or if that is tricky to whoever coordinates the classes and ask what they plan to do about it - they may need another instructor

i agree that 2-12 is not good enough - i imagine that they wont all go each week but it seems risky to me eg 1 takes a child across the pool that leaves 1 instructor with 11 kids to keep on the poolside

you could call round other places in the area to ask about their ratios for more ammo!