Parents wfh and the furloughed for childcare

[baskininjoe]

I am childless, currently by choice because I am in my twenties but do plan to have a child in the future at some point.

AIBU to be getting annoyed with the short end of the stick that the childless are getting right now with everything regarding childcare and lockdown.

I have so many colleges who are currently wfh whilst looking after children. I completely sympathise and understand this is hard but I am really starting to get annoyed with them being less productive, and logging less hours for the same pay (no reduction), whilst the rest of us are expected to pick up the slack, and work more hours to make sure tasks still get completed, whilst not being paid anymore for our extra time and effort. I know there is no perfect solution but it really grates on me that they aren't being paid for what they complete which could therefore compensate the rest of us for the extra we are having to do because they are not fully fulfilling their role.

On top of this with the idea of school provisionally going back in June some of these parents have said they will not be sending their DC to school, despite a place being open and available to them, and therefore expect the rest of us to continue to pick up their slack because they can't work as productively whilst looking after their children.

My housemate (shared house) works in a place where many parents have been furloughed for childcare reasons, despite their being lots of work to do, just because they've asked to be. This means that my housemate has been incredibly stressed as the workload is still high but the team is now smaller, whilst many of their colleges are receiving 80% on the taxpayer, despite their actually being work for them to do, all because they complained to their employer that it was too hard working with children and thus asking to be furloughed. This is especially grating as it is taxpayer money that is being used to pay them, despite their actually being a job they could do and be payed for.

I am not at all against the furlough scheme, another of my housemates work in a restaurant and is also on furlough and this is absolutely the right thing as they can not work, despite wanting to, as their place of work is not allowed to open.

However I think:

1. Some employers and employees are taking the piss by allowing staff to be furloughed/asking to be furloughed despite their actually being a job to do. Which then negatively affects the rest of the teams as the work level remains the same but there are less people to do the work so the remaining people have to work harder with no extra pay.

1. Employers need to be understanding but also firm with parents that although some productively will be affected by having DC at home, a certain level still needs to be consistently met or they are not doing their job properly and that negatively affects the business and the rest of the team.

1. Employers need to be especially understanding and grateful to employees still working, who are picking up the slack for those not being as productive because of DC at home/furloughed for childcare reasons despite their still being work. And actually need to consider financially compensating them for the high level of extra work and overtime and/or promise to look at these people first for upcoming promotions as as they have shown serious dedication to the business.

1. Employers should not be allowing parents to choose not to send DC to school when they can if it continues to affect the parents productivity level.

I understand this is a hard time for everyone, and parents do have it hard with few childcare options for DC, however that is not the problem of their colleagues and they should not be negatively affected by being expected to work far far more for no extra gain. My housemate and I are stressed beyond belief both having to work 10-12 hours every day for what would be a 9-5 office job in order to pick up the slack for colleagues whilst not being paid anymore whilst these colleagues are only completely 4-6 hours a day yet continuing to be paid the same as us. And on top of this are expecting it to continue despite their child being able to go to school soon because they are choosing not to send them.

@LaurieMarlow You do know that talking to someone like that only reflects on you? And not we’ll....

*well

But how do you know there has been no reduction in their pay? I am one of those unable to do full hours due to childcare (single parent), and I booked 70% of my hours as either annual or unpaid leave.

Oh, and I am working less than 50% my usual hours, in a well-paid public sector role, on my full pay. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

There was nearly a really insightful, reasonable and measured response on this thread, then it was ruined with this. Ah well, the public sector isn't going to be immune from the impending recession, so it's good they see they can cut your hours in half I guess, saves them some pennies.

You do know that talking to someone like that only reflects on you? And not well

Having seen friends of mine close to actual breakdown because of the pressure they’re under right juggling working and parenting right now, I couldn’t give a flying ...

I am wfh with a 2 year old. I get up at 6am and work two hour on and off shifts with my partner all day till about 9.

So - people who are working from home with children are not expecting nag other people to do more or shirking work

rainy don't worry. I'm used to it. I get talked to like that by parents several times a day. Hey ho. Time to hide the thread.

I get talked to like that by parents several times a day.

Little bit less chat about ‘mummy martyrs’ at a time like this, you might get a better response. But you do know this.

@LaurieMarlow that’s awful but it isn’t the OP’s fault and your sneering and bitchy language towards her is unnecessary. One person’s problems doesn’t invalidate another’s, and it is the epitome of entitlement to feel that its reasonable for someone else to have to do half your job for no pay because they are childfree. There is a problem here but there is no more reason for the OP to bear the brunt of it than working parents. She is entitled to feel shit about the position she’s been put in and to be able to express that without being spoken to like dirt because your friends are having a time that you perceive to be harder.

I think @LaurieMarlow is brilliant. I keep meaning to log on to the website rather than the app to slide into her DMs and tell her so, as she's on the money (the money OP thinks parents shouldn't be paid because we're not working hard enough) in every coronavirus-childcare thread, but actually I think it's worth saying out loud right here. Every post is spot on about the disaster this spells for women in the workplace.

And, honestly, I'm sick of the threads and posts where people essentially want to see parents financially penalised or otherwise punished for this. Elsewhere I've seen an OP want parents having something on their record to show they weren't pulling their weight, this OP wants parents at the back of the queue for promotions but the front of the queue for redundancies, there's this bloodlust all over MN for parents to have their pay cut because they're not doing their full hours, and you know what? It can all FUCK OFF.

OP, grow up, get some empathy. One day I hope you get the child you plan to have, and when you do, I think you'll look back on your attitude now and cringe.

that’s awful but it isn’t the OP’s fault and your sneering and bitchy language towards her is unnecessary.

I wasn’t addressing the OP.

I was addressing another poster who opened her post by sneering and bitching about ‘mummy martyrs’.

I'm doing less than 50% my usual hours because that's all I can physically do with two DC age 4 and 1. My employer is supportive and not discriminating against working parents.

The OP is not measured, it's rude and goady; so was parts of my response. It doesn't stop what I said being true.

Oh this is a dreadful thread OP and you coming across as quite selfish. It's actually made me really sad. We are in a global pandemic and thousands have died. It's really shit but everyone is doing their best.

I would definitely sympathise with the childless in this situation

The grass most definitely isn't greener OP. Before l had my child l used to think my colleague who only worked part time had it so easy....actually phoned her to apologise after l had a baby cos l had no idea AT ALL what it was like to be a working mum. Used to wind me up when people said until you have kids you don't understand but then l had a kid and my God life is easier when you only have yourself to consider. Wouldn't change it for all the tea in China but fucking hell it is a juggling act at the best of times let alone during a worldwide pandemic.

burritofan spot on. I've said on other COVID childcare threads and I'll say it again - the childfree who are complaining about the extra work they're having to take on, don't they realise they are the ones who have the advantage career wise? I'm so so grateful to have a supportive employer in this shitty time, but at the end of the day my career has been completely stalled through no fault of my own, at an important time for me to try and push on towards the next level.

and it is the epitome of entitlement to feel that its reasonable for someone else to have to do half your job for no pay because they are childfree

I don’t think a single person on this thread has says that. Do show us where they have.

What we’re saying is looking after children is a full time job. If you can’t understand why doing that on top of another full time job is problematic then I have no words frankly.

My employer is supportive and not discriminating against working parents.

And that’s great, but the thread is about how the OP’s employer is currently discriminating against working non-parents.

Thanks @burritofan

I couldn’t agree with your post more.

I just don’t know wtf people expect us to do? Neglect our children? Quit and be unable to provide for them? Work ourselves into a breakdown?

No parent asked for this, it’s madness. and now we’re being told how ‘entitled‘ we are for pointing that out.

the thread is about how the OP’s employer is currently discriminating against working non-parents.
It's really not discrimination to ask employees to take on extra work when their colleagues are unable to. It happens when people are signed off on long-term sick leave, or have to take emergency absence for bereavement, or when people resign and their roles aren't immediately filled. Sometimes work is harder than people would like. This is one of those times.

This isn't a jolly holiday for working parents.

YABU, goady and very entitled.

I have some understanding as to why you feel how you do- however I am trying to do the best I can working from home with a 2 year old - doing my best but definitely not at 100% capacity. I can absolutely honestly tell you though I've never been more exhausted in my life! Trying my best and juggling work and home life its impossible to both as well as I'd like. Feel like I'm failing at my job and failing my child. Once this is all over I'm going to be near to exhaustion.
You have an employer problem though as you work load could be managed better and support for all should be available

It's frustrating for everyone. I find my partner and I wfh with a 1 and a 2yo quite frustrating also. This is a global crisis, most of us are doing our best.

I am interested in your solution, though, if you don't want parents admitting they can't do both and taking furlough, as that puts extra work on you. But you don't want them working and parenting at the same time. I really can't see another option?

You problem is with your employer. Parents can't help that their kids are at home. What are they supposed to do? Lock themselves in another room and allow their toddlers to run riot. This is no one fault and not something that could be planned for. Employers need to be understanding. That includes not expecting essentially over time for no extra money. You need to tell your employer that you aren't doing overtime for no money! Its not your colleagues who are parents fault your allowing your employed to (presumably) break the terms of your contract. There maybe many reasons parents refuse to send their kids back to school (sheilding family members etc) you wont be party to that info but your employer will be.

Yeah l see where you’re coming from. I’m very busy at work and doing extra hours, while other colleagues don’t do as many hours and seem very checked out of work basically. From tomorrow lm just doing my contracted hours. Those with and without children don’t appear to be as productive. So it can be hard for me to get things done. Yeah it might be harsh but everyone is being paid by their employer

I read a hilarious post on a friends Facebook wall, written by a friend of hers saying the childless have it so “easy” and they should “compensate” those with children. She wanted furlough extended to all with children, despite the fact COVID-19 is going to cost the £300bn. Having children a lifestyle choice and no one has to have them. Plus how about those who can’t have children. Not sure how l would fit into that as l want children but have fertility issues. Personally I’m waiting to do fertility treatment which has been put on hold, strangely enough lm not thinking who is compensating that for me?! But lm not completely self absorbed and realise shit happens