Parents wfh and the furloughed for childcare

[baskininjoe]

I am childless, currently by choice because I am in my twenties but do plan to have a child in the future at some point.

AIBU to be getting annoyed with the short end of the stick that the childless are getting right now with everything regarding childcare and lockdown.

I have so many colleges who are currently wfh whilst looking after children. I completely sympathise and understand this is hard but I am really starting to get annoyed with them being less productive, and logging less hours for the same pay (no reduction), whilst the rest of us are expected to pick up the slack, and work more hours to make sure tasks still get completed, whilst not being paid anymore for our extra time and effort. I know there is no perfect solution but it really grates on me that they aren't being paid for what they complete which could therefore compensate the rest of us for the extra we are having to do because they are not fully fulfilling their role.

On top of this with the idea of school provisionally going back in June some of these parents have said they will not be sending their DC to school, despite a place being open and available to them, and therefore expect the rest of us to continue to pick up their slack because they can't work as productively whilst looking after their children.

My housemate (shared house) works in a place where many parents have been furloughed for childcare reasons, despite their being lots of work to do, just because they've asked to be. This means that my housemate has been incredibly stressed as the workload is still high but the team is now smaller, whilst many of their colleges are receiving 80% on the taxpayer, despite their actually being work for them to do, all because they complained to their employer that it was too hard working with children and thus asking to be furloughed. This is especially grating as it is taxpayer money that is being used to pay them, despite their actually being a job they could do and be payed for.

I am not at all against the furlough scheme, another of my housemates work in a restaurant and is also on furlough and this is absolutely the right thing as they can not work, despite wanting to, as their place of work is not allowed to open.

However I think:

1. Some employers and employees are taking the piss by allowing staff to be furloughed/asking to be furloughed despite their actually being a job to do. Which then negatively affects the rest of the teams as the work level remains the same but there are less people to do the work so the remaining people have to work harder with no extra pay.

1. Employers need to be understanding but also firm with parents that although some productively will be affected by having DC at home, a certain level still needs to be consistently met or they are not doing their job properly and that negatively affects the business and the rest of the team.

1. Employers need to be especially understanding and grateful to employees still working, who are picking up the slack for those not being as productive because of DC at home/furloughed for childcare reasons despite their still being work. And actually need to consider financially compensating them for the high level of extra work and overtime and/or promise to look at these people first for upcoming promotions as as they have shown serious dedication to the business.

1. Employers should not be allowing parents to choose not to send DC to school when they can if it continues to affect the parents productivity level.

I understand this is a hard time for everyone, and parents do have it hard with few childcare options for DC, however that is not the problem of their colleagues and they should not be negatively affected by being expected to work far far more for no extra gain. My housemate and I are stressed beyond belief both having to work 10-12 hours every day for what would be a 9-5 office job in order to pick up the slack for colleagues whilst not being paid anymore whilst these colleagues are only completely 4-6 hours a day yet continuing to be paid the same as us. And on top of this are expecting it to continue despite their child being able to go to school soon because they are choosing not to send them.

I have been a working parent for the past 17 years and this thread really bugs me. Being a parent doesn't give you any privileges or entitlements in the work place. It's like thinking you should get Christmas off rather than a childless person .........

Of course it's hard to homeschool, run house and work at the same time. OP is not disputing that. She is saying that in her company parents have had the option of being furloughed at 80% pay due to childcare issues- if the playing field should be level, why is this not open to OP.

Why should OP do the work that her colleagues have been unable to do?

I repeat OP needs to take the issue up with her employer but I feel parents can't ask for equal rights only when it suits them.

Somewhere I read about a teacher who is doing all kinds of activities with her own child but is failing to support her students ..........

If you have a strong work ethic you will get up to log on before kids wake and log back on after they are asleep if you can't manage to do all during the day. Why should working parents have time to catch up on TV, reading a book etc when OP has to pick up their slack?

burritofan hits the bullseye.

We’re still paying a percentage of nursery fees.

And as for nannies, we’ve looked into it. It’s not a big thing where we live anyway and there is literally nothing out there at the minute. We have tried.

It stands to reason that supply of nannies just isn’t there right now. They normally cater to a very small percentage of the population.

What a fucking horrible thread. OP may say she sympathises but she shows absolutely zero understanding of the impact trying to juggle wfh & childcare/occupying and educating children. Working until the early hours of the morning to try to keep up. Feeling like you're doing a shit job of both.

Add to this trying to help them manage their mental health (mine are in tears as they miss their friends/extended family), plus worry about elderly/ill family, plus trying to make sure everyone eats properly (financial and organisational extras of feeding everyone all day instead of 1-2 times), plus not being able to leave the house as one of us is shielded, having zero downtime apart from the odd 10 mins to scroll through mumsnet!

And this was the icing on the cake

However they will be asking me to report on the weekly calls with each person and I would not be doing my job properly if I didn't tell them that although Z is at 75% productivity they refuse to send their child to school until there is a vaccine whether X and Y have both expressed that they will be using any and every form of childcare available to them as soon as it becomes available.

How dare you judge people on the decision on whether or not to send their children back to school? The current plans are not acceptable to the BMA/teaching unions, people are scared for the health of their children, or their own health (if their children were to bring the virus home) as there is a real risk of a second (potentially more deadly) second wave.

I think you need to get a grip OP. If you're overworked you need to sort that out with your boss, not try to deflect blame and resentment onto the working parents whose lives you do seem to be capable of understanding.

@oblada why do you need my earnings to be restricted? Why does it come down to penalising individuals, rather than expecting corporations to pick up some slack?

I feel astonishingly lucky that both DP and I have flexible employers who recognise the whole "oh this is quite an unusual turn of life events" factor, rather than Mr Jobsworth with a clipboard going "Oh, well you see, Doris, you clocked in ten minutes late – no, no, not interested in your excuse that your toddler did an up-the-back poo, why didn't you pre-plan for unprecedented times back when you were trying to conceive? No money for you!"

but I feel parents can't ask for equal rights only when it suits them.

They’re not

They’re requiring acknowledgement that they cannot do their roles to the fullest of their ability when the support for this (childcare) has been shut by government.

Why is that so difficult to understand?

If I got up before my child, and worked late after they went to bed, I wouldn't have any time to actually sleep. Or get any exercise. Or speak to anyone else. Which I could probably manage for about a month before I became so stressed and unwell that I would be signed off work.
On full pay.
And then colleagues would have to pick up more work.

Op is not happy with people being furloughed because of childcare, she's said that already.

If I got up before my child, and worked late after they went to bed, I wouldn't have any time to actually sleep. Or get any exercise. Or speak to anyone else. Which I could probably manage for about a month before I became so stressed and unwell that I would be signed off work

This is my actual life. I am genuinely contemplating being signed off. I have always been a pretty robust person mentally, but this situation is breaking me.

@oblada I've been paying my childminder throughout as she wouldn't be able to feed her kids otherwise.

@welcometothenorth I'm sorry. It's so bloody hard at the moment. And it feels like there's no solutions or light at the end of the tunnel. This was not in any of the bloody parenting books, that's for sure.

If you have a strong work ethic you will get up to log on before kids wake and log back on after they are asleep if you can't manage to do all during the day.
WTF do you think a lot of us are doing. Also, lots of small children don't sleep well; especially those that have been whisked out of school and into an anxiety-provoking reality. I work every evening in bursts between my toddler waking up.

Why should working parents have time to catch up on TV, reading a book etc
Ahahahahahahaha you mean "load the dishwasher at midnight, blearily try and fail to find a supermarket delivery slot, prep the next day's snacks and activities, check work emails, and fall into bed around 1am and have hideous dreams all night in-between their child waking up.

What do we want?

Equal rights!!!

When do we want them?

Well, in the middle of the global pandemic that we've all plotted to inflict on you, ideally.

Why should working parents have time to catch up on TV, reading a book etc

That’s it. Working people into a breakdown is another excellent strategy for ousting mothers from the workforce.

So all of you are single parents of toddlers without another adult to share the load?

@LaurieMarlow you missed to add the part where I said OP doesn't have this luxury. So she too is being worked to breaking point . So is this OK because she isn't a parent?

That’s not our problem though. If she feels overworked she can raise that with her employers. It has nothing to do with her colleagues who happen to be parents fgs.

Yep talk to your employer about feeling overworked

So she too is being worked to breaking point

She’s doing 10-12 hour days. With the greatest of respect, that’s not being worked to breaking point. Working parents would kill for that amount of downtime.

They aren’t even unusual hours for her stage in career.

And none of that is particularly relevant anyway. All she has to do is tell her boss she’s not working beyond her hours.

Parents do not have the luxury of checking out from their kids for a while (while delivering their contracted hours).

So all of you are single parents of toddlers without another adult to share the load?

Thankfully in my case no. DH can give me some uninterrupted hours a day. However, he’s working a ridiculous schedule at the moment, probably 70 hours a week. Weekends are a write off.

Plenty of people’s partners are key workers and working out of the house. So the burden falls on one.

@chopc nope. But I'm contracted to work 40 hours a week, as is DP. Our one-year-old is awake from 6am to 7.30pm, and requires constant supervision, fresh air, three meals and two snacks a day. We can both claw back some time while she naps but she needs to be put down for those naps, she doesn't just toddle off to bed so we can work, they don't always happen because she's a one-year-old human, not a Gina Ford robot baby, and basic "maintaining a house" stuff that would usually be done in the evenings – cooking, washing – is made more difficult by 2m-apart queues at the supermarket stretching round the car park, unavailability of go-to foods, extreme knackeredness, and spending our evenings catching up on work.

Please do the maths for me on how we're supposed to take care of a toddler for 12 hours a day and fit in 8 hours of office work each, find time to eat and sleep, plus apparently watch some TV, read a book, and cackle over our grand Machiavellian plan to kickstart a global pandemic so we can shaft our childfree colleagues for a good lol.

Parents pay for childcare for a reason.

parents shouldn't be allowed to be far less productive than they would normally expected to be. My employer wouldn't allow this

Who put you in charge?

Thankfully many of us have far more understanding employers and colleagues. My child in 6th form so there is virtually no impact to my working day and where colleagues are impacted due to younger kids at home, we've adjusted.

Why should working parents have time to catch up on TV, reading a book etc

I don’t know, their mental health maybe? Because they are human and not machines?

I’m guessing the Op has time to eat, read and watch Netflix UNINTERRUPTED. And gets a guaranteed 8 hours sleep UNINTERRUPTED.

Some of these posts are unreal. There cannot actually be people in real life who hold these views.

Parents pay for childcare for a reason.

Exactly. Working without childcare is madness.

Prior to this pandemic it was universally agreed to be madness. Anyone suggesting it on here was told that. It was even written into contracts that it isn’t allowed.

But now, we’re supposed to just cope with it and carry on like nothing’s changed? Deliver as normal? It beggars belief.

parents shouldn't be allowed to be far less productive than they would normally expected to be. My employer wouldn't allow this

So in a completely abnormal situation you think normal working practices should apply? How obtuse.