Parents wfh and the furloughed for childcare

[baskininjoe]

I am childless, currently by choice because I am in my twenties but do plan to have a child in the future at some point.

AIBU to be getting annoyed with the short end of the stick that the childless are getting right now with everything regarding childcare and lockdown.

I have so many colleges who are currently wfh whilst looking after children. I completely sympathise and understand this is hard but I am really starting to get annoyed with them being less productive, and logging less hours for the same pay (no reduction), whilst the rest of us are expected to pick up the slack, and work more hours to make sure tasks still get completed, whilst not being paid anymore for our extra time and effort. I know there is no perfect solution but it really grates on me that they aren't being paid for what they complete which could therefore compensate the rest of us for the extra we are having to do because they are not fully fulfilling their role.

On top of this with the idea of school provisionally going back in June some of these parents have said they will not be sending their DC to school, despite a place being open and available to them, and therefore expect the rest of us to continue to pick up their slack because they can't work as productively whilst looking after their children.

My housemate (shared house) works in a place where many parents have been furloughed for childcare reasons, despite their being lots of work to do, just because they've asked to be. This means that my housemate has been incredibly stressed as the workload is still high but the team is now smaller, whilst many of their colleges are receiving 80% on the taxpayer, despite their actually being work for them to do, all because they complained to their employer that it was too hard working with children and thus asking to be furloughed. This is especially grating as it is taxpayer money that is being used to pay them, despite their actually being a job they could do and be payed for.

I am not at all against the furlough scheme, another of my housemates work in a restaurant and is also on furlough and this is absolutely the right thing as they can not work, despite wanting to, as their place of work is not allowed to open.

However I think:

1. Some employers and employees are taking the piss by allowing staff to be furloughed/asking to be furloughed despite their actually being a job to do. Which then negatively affects the rest of the teams as the work level remains the same but there are less people to do the work so the remaining people have to work harder with no extra pay.

1. Employers need to be understanding but also firm with parents that although some productively will be affected by having DC at home, a certain level still needs to be consistently met or they are not doing their job properly and that negatively affects the business and the rest of the team.

1. Employers need to be especially understanding and grateful to employees still working, who are picking up the slack for those not being as productive because of DC at home/furloughed for childcare reasons despite their still being work. And actually need to consider financially compensating them for the high level of extra work and overtime and/or promise to look at these people first for upcoming promotions as as they have shown serious dedication to the business.

1. Employers should not be allowing parents to choose not to send DC to school when they can if it continues to affect the parents productivity level.

I understand this is a hard time for everyone, and parents do have it hard with few childcare options for DC, however that is not the problem of their colleagues and they should not be negatively affected by being expected to work far far more for no extra gain. My housemate and I are stressed beyond belief both having to work 10-12 hours every day for what would be a 9-5 office job in order to pick up the slack for colleagues whilst not being paid anymore whilst these colleagues are only completely 4-6 hours a day yet continuing to be paid the same as us. And on top of this are expecting it to continue despite their child being able to go to school soon because they are choosing not to send them.

I said there were threats of redundancies, that I have no say in making the decision over. However I am compiling data on productivity

And why did you make that point do you think?

Don’t forget you clearly noted where parents weren’t delivering as many hours as others.

Could you ask your boss for more pay for the next 3 months?

I'm a business owner and if my business was thriving and I could clearly see one person working hard I'd be willing to try to keep you in your role, if you are a great hard worker as it sounds, then you have nothing to lose.

Just don't benchmark against others.

However I am compiling data on productivity, that's it, the same as a clock in machine compiles data on people who are repeatedly late.

Wow. You are keeping tabs on people?

How do you think that stressed parents who are already feel they are struggling through no fault of their own and worrying about losing their jobs feel reading that?

Do you think productivity is all a job is about?

Refuse to do the extra hours. Do your own work and no more.

It's not your colleagues fault you won't say no to your boss.

Working from home with children is horrible. I'm either neglecting my role or neglecting my baby. I'm working from 8am until midnight at least.

Its shit for all of us, there's no need to put your colleagues down or blame them.

@redtoothbrush

As I have said countless time now it is literally my job to as you put it 'keep tabs on people'. It is a task I have been given by my employer and if I weren't to do it I wouldn't be doing my job as it is part of my role. Luckily everyone in my office understand this and is happy to report to me as is part of there jobs, as it is mine to compile the data from these reports.

It is a task I have been given by my employer

And you mentioned it on this thread, why?

"And that before we get to anything actually for me like yoga, or a run, or a film, or half an hour with a glass of wine. You know all those things that parents never get at the best of times"

When you CHOSE to become a parent you chose to possibly have to give up these aspect of your life. By choosing to have kids to give your life to put them first, I don't have kids yet, therefore my life is for me and I should have the free time to do these things around my job. I shouldn't be working so many hours that I literally can't do anything else.

Gosh OP I'd be really interested to know how you're compiling data on productivity. That's the management holy grail!

Oh and be nice to @RedToothBrush please.

And be thankful you're not working and homeschooling at the same time. It's shit.

@HollaHolla yeah the compensation debate is an interesting one. Whether it’s for those with children, those who have had to cancel weddings, those who have lost close family but hadn’t seen them for weeks e.g. my friends mum who died of cancer last week etc

Personally l think it’s shit for everyone, l don’t know anyone who is loving this

@LaurieMarlow

"And you mentioned it on this thread, why?"

Because it's relevant to the thread. It explains how I know about the productivity of the people I'm working with, what hours they're working and averaging each day, and their opinions on when they want to send their kids back to school.

Otherwise I would be shot down being told I'm purely speculating.

OP that is why you take things up with your employer if you're not happy to continue doing so many hours. Your employer has responsibilities to ensure you have adequate equipment to WFH including desk, proper light etc. and that you're not too stressed. Have you thought about taking some annual leave?

What an awful thread this is to read.

Anyone who is working at the same time as having to look after young children has my utmost respect and sympathy. I can't imagine how hard it must be.

When you CHOSE to become a parent you chose to possibly have to give up these aspect of your life

No one made that choice in the knowledge that they’d have to work full time with no childcare. It’s total madness.

Op, you’re probably just as stressed and miserable as the rest of us, I’m not doubting that. My issue is you’re basically saying that because I’m a parent I’m somehow deciding not to work to full capacity and should be put under more pressure by my employer and reprimanded (as if I could wave a magic wand and somehow work better/find a solution when I’ve obviously already been trying). Or that I should have my wages cut so I loose my shitty tiny house that I can barely afford on my wage anyway- making me and my child homeless? Despite how stressed and miserable I already am, despite not choosing this, despite being forced to neglect my innocent child, despite trying my absolute best to keep working like I did when I had childcare? Oh and I’m having panic attacks, missing my family, lost a parent to Covid...I’m not exactly having a ball of laughs with my kid during lockdown. It’s as if you think parents are taking time out of work to have fun playing games with their kids- it’s NOT like that.

You’re having it hard and you’re stressed, you shouldn’t be working ridiculous hours without being paid for them. Take it up with your employer. But coming on here to complain about people not working properly because they now have their kids full time is disgusting. It’s also disgusting to suggest that people should risk their children’s lives because of work, because you’re finding it hard too.

So get a different job that doesn't expect 12 hour days in a pandemic, you being so excellent and productive.

You'd best just hope that your next boss doesn't look at you with suspicion as a potential future childcare problem. You know the attitude you are CONTRIBUTING TO.

@HeyDuggeesCakeBadge

I can't take AL right now, no one can because otherwise we as a business would actually go under. I will be as soon as I can though. I desperately need a break for my mental health.

What do you actually want OP?

Neglected kids?
Parents forced out?
Breakdowns?

I’m interested.

And I say this as someone whose ex line manager was once told by her female superior not to hire me because I might have a baby. I was 22.

Parents or not, we should all have time to do things around our job. A global pandemic has put a stop to it... for ALL OF US.

I chose to be a parent so I should be ok with losing all the things you have also lost, but you get to moan about it? Pffft. Get over yourself.

@noti23

I have never once attacked parents. I have said I know they are doing their best. But it doesn't stop the situation being shit. And for me the situation I shit directly because of their actions. Is it their fault? Absolutely not! Am I still allowed to complain that my situation is shit? Yes I am

To everyone saying 'wait till you have a kid' thank you for being so sensitive towards my recent miscarriage

You're not allowed to say you should automatically be prioritised for promotion over a fellow employee who cannot do 12 hours solid work a day. Cannot, not will not. But you're pretending you didn't type that.

And for me the situation I shit directly because of their actions.

Quit this bullshit OP. Talk to your boss. That’s the only person that can make your situation better.

DH has two junior members of staff he's working with on a daily basis. They both have two young children, and even though both have partners they are getting interrupted reguarly because they are too young to understand that Daddy isn't to be disturbed during certain hours.

He understands that he will get more productivity from them if he looks after their mental health and says 'its fine don't worry, spend time with your family and don't stress about them interrupting' not from saying 'oi this is work time, stop slacking, get your wife to look after them properly otherwise you will be docked time'.

Because thats just how it is right now.

Thats it.

Whilst it might be your job to look at productivity, if you don't put it into context, you really have a massive issue and don't really get to scream about your own mental health and expect sympathy.

You sound like you think that parents (mothers) shouldn't have jobs.

You might like to consider that parents don't tend to have days off for hangovers and just because they feel like it. They tend to be more loyal employees who are less likely to change job and therefore know the business inside out and don't require time spent on them to be trained up. They tend to be the long term backbones of a company that keep it going. Emotional intelligence and empathy in the workplace can help motivate and improve the productivity of others. So an employee who on paper might look like they are not as productive might be an asset to the workplace because of the positive influence they bring to the company as a whole.

You sound like you need to take a step back.

I also recommend reading
www.amazon.co.uk/Let-People-Surfing-Education-Businessman-Including/dp/0143109677/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&s=books&crid=2Y6NWMFY580TZ&keywords=let+my+people+go+surfing&sprefix=let+my+%2Cstripbooks%2C142&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1589752317&sr=1-1
Let My People Go Surfing: The Education of a Reluctant Businessman--by Yvon Chouinard

Its a book by a businessman who looks at the productivity and benefits of employing women and how we should cater for their childcare needs because of what they bring to the work place.

It turns traditional ideas of productivity and efficiency on their head somewhat.